You just know you're in trouble when

DrFarkoff · Nov 2, 2012

You ring the Docs for a phone consultation about "prostrate" problems that have appeared

You don;t get your Phone call back from the Doctor but from the admin 5 mins later saying "Can you come in @ 10:45?"

This from one of the hardest surgeries to get appointment in!!!

Oh Dear Gawd I hope it's just a simple blood test these days instead of (Just fer Ogmios) RUBBER GLOVES and VASELINE! :comfort

Womble · Nov 2, 2012

Prostate problems are initially confirmed these days by a checking the PSA level in a blood test. (Or so I believe, it's something I've been meaning to discuss with my doc for a while :blast

).

All the best!

David Lee · Nov 2, 2012

They like to do an internal check as well, so they can asses the size and 'feel' of the prostate.

Dont worry, it's not the end of the world.

PSA test is just like any other blood test. No big deal.

Most blokes at 50 years old should have a check as a matter of course. Its a sensible precaution. Then have an annual PSA test ws well.

Be brave :comfort

Ogmios · Nov 2, 2012

DrFarkoff said:
...
Oh Dear Gawd I hope it's just a simple blood test these days instead of (Just fer Ogmios) RUBBER GLOVES and VASELINE!

AAaaaiiieeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Up yours Jay!

Womble · Nov 2, 2012

Michael R1150GS Adventure · Nov 2, 2012

i had mine checked a couple of years ago (aged 40)
I was worried too but turned out ok, the 'feel' test is almost compulsory for docs and they say is very informative

Just dont try to scissor his finger

Good luck fella.

Fanum · Nov 2, 2012

Michael R1150GS Adventure said:
Just dont try to scissor his finger

Good luck fella.

When he's rooting around up there, take a quick glance to each side and make sure he hasn't still got a hand on each shoulder

MikeP · Nov 2, 2012

The digital exam isn't always performed as routine these days because as mentioned, the PSA blood test is often the first stop.

PSA tests aren't wholly reliable but are reliable enough for doctors to avoid fingering your chocolate starfish. My GP didn't do it but a bloke at the hospital did (bastard never even bought me dinner and I've not heard from him since).

Hopefully you will have a PSA of 4 or less. that's what I was told was "acceptable" and then you'll probably avoid the DRE (digital rectal exam). I knew I was for it when my score came in at 55.

One point though. If you are sent to see someone other than your GP after the PSA result is known, have a look at that person's fingers and steel yourself if they are short and stubby.

Ogmios · Nov 2, 2012

The butt stops here?

... and dont forget to relax. :augie

Flying banana · Nov 2, 2012

Finger up the arse???!!!!! Pure fecking luxury, guv'nor!!! :thumb2

Try a sodding camera shoved up there to make a film of yer piles. In 3D.

Once that happened, nothin, repeat, nothing, would ever worry me again about going to the doctors.

Wel, that and having the old testickles shaved by the admittedly very pleasent but not at all attractive female nurse when the snip was done

Ogmios · Nov 2, 2012

been there ...

Flying banana said:
Finger up the arse???!!!!! Pure fecking luxury, guv'nor!!! Try a sodding camera shoved up there to make a film of yer piles. In 3D. ...

i wasn't too upset by that - i was out of my face on some delightful chemicals

.
having starved in advance and done the 'Picolax' purge - it was afterwards when i finally got a cuppa and a bit of toast - i was just settling down to enjoy the bite to eat when the 'camera man'

turned up with the 5x7 full colour glossy prints of the 'investigation' :eek

Bastid stuffs them in my face and says with delight "Look what we found up there!" :green gri

i nearly

on the spot.
evil cnut!

Womble · Nov 2, 2012

Ogmios said:
i wasn't too upset by that - i was out of my face on some delightful chemicals .
having starved in advance and done the 'Picolax' purge - it was afterwards when i finally got a cuppa and a bit of toast - i was just settling down to enjoy the bite to eat when the 'camera man' turned up with the 5x7 full colour glossy prints of the 'investigation'
Bastid stuffs them in my face and says with delight "Look what we found up there!"

i nearly on the spot.
evil cnut!

Agent Picolax - I've not been there but have posted 'that thread'. You have my sympathy.

MikeP · Nov 2, 2012

Flying banana said:
Finger up the arse???!!!!! Pure fecking luxury, guv'nor!!! Try a sodding camera shoved up there to make a film of yer piles. In 3D.

Once that happened, nothin, repeat, nothing, would ever worry me again about going to the doctors.

Pah!

Come back when your enlarged and granite-hard prostate, the size of a small grapefruit, is being fired at with a nail-gun up your poop-shute during a biopsy.

The projectiles ricochet off said 'grapefruit' rattle around your skull before returning and lodging in the end of your todger where they vibrate like a jack-hammer for at least a minute.

They were supposed to take 12 samples in this manner but they stopped after 6 and I was given a discount for the pain (in my head as the first shot sent me up the couch and into the wall).

Womble · Nov 2, 2012

Flying banana said:
Wel, that and having the old testickles shaved by the admittedly very pleasent but not at all attractive female nurse when the snip was done

In my case (not the snip) I was minding my own business when Quasimodo's disabled ugly brother came in and shaved me. No warning, no nothing, just talcum powder and a cutthroat razor - I just lay there and hoped that this was legitimate procedure and he wasn't an escapee from the secure unit :eek

turnipbmw · Nov 2, 2012

Womble said:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zEEN4IVbayI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I just love jack elam.

from when actors didn't have to be pretty :bow

GSTourer · Nov 2, 2012

David Lee said:
They like to do an internal check as well, so they can asses the size and 'feel' of the prostate.

Dont worry, it's not the end of the world.

PSA test is just like any other blood test. No big deal.

Most blokes at 50 years old should have a check as a matter of course. Its a sensible precaution. Then have an annual PSA test ws well.

Be brave

Couldn't agree more......my raised PSA level was discovered 'accidentally' (as it were) when I went for an all round checkup whilst at the police convalescent home recovering from an operation. After attending my GP once I got home and being referred to my local hospital I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Having the test, which was by pure chance was the best thing that ever happened to me. Had I not had it I would probably still be unaware and not had the treatment I have since received which at this moment in time has resulted in the PSA level dropping nicely.

I would recommend anyone around the age of 50 getting the test done if they can, not knowing you have it does no good whatsoever. The last thing you want to be told after EVENTUALLY attending your doctor is "If only you had come and seen me earlier".

There are an awful lot of roads still left to ride chaps.

GSTourer · Nov 2, 2012

MikeP said:
Pah!

Come back when your enlarged and granite-hard prostate, the size of a small grapefruit, is being fired at with a nail-gun up your poop-shute during a biopsy.

The projectiles ricochet off said 'grapefruit' rattle around your skull before returning and lodging in the end of your todger where they vibrate like a jack-hammer for at least a minute.

They were supposed to take 12 samples in this manner but they stopped after 6 and I was given a discount for the pain (in my head as the first shot sent me up the couch and into the wall).

I can still recall the pain!!!!!

Ogmios · Nov 2, 2012

Womble said:
Agent Picolax - I've not been there but have posted 'that thread'. You have my sympathy.

That thread is ... graphic, but cannot convey the sheer gale force and explosive power of that stuff! it could bring down an army quicker that chemical weapons. :eek

you just cannot believe your own body is capable of such drastic evacuation! :tears

John RTW · Nov 2, 2012

Picolax, remember it well and you'll never forget it till the day you pop your clogs

DrFarkoff · Nov 2, 2012

Well that was a busy wee morning (and if i may use the expression a relief it's been a hard 3 or 4 days thinking about "what if?" as Gertie's previous owner passed away in January due to it :-( R.I.P. Pete

Og I'd like to say thanks for your support but am afraid you will post me up yer truss

Good news is that Doc thinks it's "unlikely" that it's horrendous news and is pretty sure it's a bruised bladder (still bloody sore tho!)

You lot have cheered me up and just so yous know I didn;t get the DRE and Doc didn;t pass me his number and ask me out to dinner so thats a bonus too :aidan

So 3 to 4 days for the Blood and Urine test results to come back (I asked them to do the PSA while they were at it and see what that says) and no meds for the bruised bladder just it will rectify itself thru time :blast

You just know you're in trouble when

Grumpy Ole Git!!!

Well-known member

David Lee

Guest

Well-known member

Attachments

Well-known member

Registered user

Toubab

UKGSer of 2014 (Dead)

Well-known member

Attachments

Registered user

Well-known member

Well-known member

UKGSer of 2014 (Dead)

Well-known member

Registered user

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Grumpy Ole Git!!!

Similar threads