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Thread: Mojo Hunting In Morocco: A ride report of sorts.

  1. #17
    Deleted account W
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    Day One......

    The bikes were revealed to us all the next day. My Mojo was back and I was a happy man again. Although I didn’t show my emotions, stiff upper lip and all that.




    The other bikes consisted of a BMW 650 ST, a 16 year old Paris Dakar airhead, a vanilla 1200, a full on tarts handbag 1200 Adv and a Honda Pan Galactica. The Boy Burton was on his 1150 SE and Wild Bill was riding his 1150 Adv.

    Wild Bill immediately spotted my powers of navigation and leadership ability and therefore told me to sit at the back of the cavalcade and just follow everyone else. Apparently I would be Tail End Charlie, which up until this moment I thought was a term that referred to Columbian Marching Powder snorted off the end of a gents appendage.






    We all filed out of the city and across the flat plain that Marakech sits on, heading east, then we started to climb North towards the falls at Ouzoud. Five kilometre before the falls we suffered our first mishap. Victor, a South African gent on the 650 had a severe case of target fixation with an Armco barrier on a switch back bend. His bike went over the Armco and he slid, rolled and bounced down the road.




    Victor escaped with bruises and grazes and his bike lost the foot rubber part of the gear lever, twisted the forks in the yokes and snapped it’s screen off. Victor was antisepticized and the forks straightened, the gear lever drilled and a bolt used to replace the foot rubber then gaffa tape solved the detached screen.

    While this was happening the second mishap of the day occurred, Jim on the PD passed out at the side of the road. We dosed him up with salt powders and water but he was in no state to ride. Ali Bar Bill returned with the trailer and the PD was loaded up.




    We lunched in Ouzoud on chicken tagine and had a look at the water fall.



    Then the third mishap of the day occurred, Walter on the 1200 Adv dropped his bike onto an Italians hire car in the car park. Much waving of insurance docs and Anglo-Italian diplomacy ensued. Walter seemed to take it in his stride.




    This was turning out to be a fun day and it was only lunch.

    We eventually made the hotel just outside Beni Mallal and chilled with a bottle of the local beer.

    The Boy Burton spent an hour in the bathroom and then proceeded to turn our bedroom into what looked like a Chinese laundry. I wondered what fun tomorrow would bring.

  2. #18
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    Good to see you trimmed the nose hair

  3. #19
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    At that attrition rate, were any bikes and / or riders left at the end

  4. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waldin View Post
    ...... dropped his bike onto an Italians car
    Sounds oddly familiar

  5. #21
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    During the night the world dropped out of my bottom and I slept only three or four hours. I took the necessary drugs and hoped they would block the deluge until we made the hotel that evening.

    We rode up through the cedar forests with Fez as tonight’s destination.




    The roads entertained and the sun shone. I sent a text to my lovely assistant and told her I could be a while.






    Wild Bill stopped and shouted his orders to us from the front every now and again. None of us could hear them so we just nodded our helmets and carried on regardless.






    I asked this small boy what he’d said at one stop, he said that the red headed man was crazy with the heat and told me to make good my escape at the next available opportunity. A wise head on young shoulder I thought.




    We had a coffee in the ski resort of Ifrane and then onto the Old Town in Fez.

    Chelsea were playing Man Utd on the TV in the bar so I ignored the delights of a medieval city for a beer and a pointless game of football.

    Maybe the heat was getting to me or maybe I just needed to be within trotting distance of a flushable WC.

    Tomorrow we head south for the deserts, Wild Bill promised camels, sand dunes and swimming pools.

    That night I slept in a large room with five other men. You get to sleep with fewer men when in prison. There wasn’t a toilet brush either, oh the humility.

  6. #22
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    Day three dawned. After the standard breakfast of bread, jam and coffee that a Wimpey’s would be ashamed to serve saw us on the road. Today we were to ride 300 miles south to Merzouga, though Sefrou, Boulmane, Midelt, Rich, Errachidia, Efford and Rissani.

    At lunch we rode our bikes through this gateway………




    And parked them in this courtyard, much to the annoyance of a group of French OAP’s who were stood around discussing the spiralling cost of angora wool V-neck pullovers until we disturbed them……..




    After refreshments we carried on south.




    We came across the “Tunnel of the Legionnaire”. At the other end a chap was guarding it, not sure why?

    The end we stopped at had a the usual fossil/trinket seller. But this one had a twist. He claimed to have visited Bognor Regis a few years ago and asked why English people always laughed when he told them this.

    I couldn’t think of an answer so I got The Boy Burton to buy one of his trinkets.




    We rode along the side of a palmery for a while before a long stretch of straight, extremely hot desert road.




    Wild Bill led us off the tarmac road and down a mile or so of nice gravel to the Kasbah Mohayut






    The Pan Galactica rider was cursing him until he saw the inside of the place. Well worth the rough ride.








    The bar was particularly welcome…




    We paddled then ate dinner and then retired for an early night, tomorrow would be a long day, especially for me but I didn’t know it then.




  7. #23
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    We paddled then ate dinner then retired for an early night, tomorrow would be a long day, especially for me but I didn’t know it then.
    another Flash Gordon type cliffhanger


    will our intrepid explorer survive?

    Tune in next time to find out

  8. #24
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    G'day Waldin,

    Kylie and Danni here (we've hi-jacked Mike's log-in).

    Look sport, we're about to get it on with him but he says that he won't join us until you've finished this report.

    So do a couple of Sheila's a favour mate, stop being a bludger and pull your ruddy finger out!

  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by TUNED IN View Post
    another Flash Gordon type cliffhanger


    will our intrepid explorer survive?

    Tune in next time to find out
    Quote Originally Posted by MikeP View Post
    G'day Waldin,

    Kylie and Danni here (we've hi-jacked Mike's log-in).

    Look sport, we're about to get it on with him but he says that he won't join us until you've finished this report.

    So do a couple of Sheila's a favour mate, stop being a bludger and pull your ruddy finger out!

    Shhhhhhhhh....... Keep it down you two, it's getting to the exciting bit.

  10. #26
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    During the night half the known universe dropped out of my bottom and I slept only two or three hours. I took the necessary drugs and hoped they would block the deluge until we made the hotel that evening.

    There was a knock on the door at four twenty. The camels had arrived. We crawled out into the dark desert and looked at the dromedary type beasts. Ali Bar Bill mounted his as did Wild Bill and three others.




    I, on the other hand crawled back into the Kasbah and decided a camel ride to the top of the dunes wasn’t on my list of things to do that Thursday morning.

    I took my camera and cigarettes onto the roof found a comfy chair and promptly fell asleep for half an hour.

    When I woke up the sun was rising.







    And after a while I saw the camel train returning.










    Wild Bill and Ali Bar Bill were on foot, They’d sold their camels to a passing Spanish tourist and were now discussing the feasibility of setting up a used camel salesroom in Erford.




    Back at the Kasbah the Landie was loaded with the luggage and left meanwhile we all had a lazy couple of hours before getting on the bikes and leaving ourselves. All but for Walter though.

    He’d packed his bike keys in his luggage on the Landie, which was now well on it’s way to tonight’s hotel. Ali Bar Bill was contacted and told to turn around and I shot off to meet him on his way back. The rest left with Wild Bill, leaving a very embarrassed Walter at the Kasbah to wait for me to return with his keys.

    I stopped for a picture in Rissani and then again on the desert road.





    A hundred miles later I was back with Walter and we had the bike going. I then rode down the same stretch of very straight, very hot desert road for the forth time in the last 24 hours.

    Me and Walter stopped for coffee at a nice little café mid afternoon and were just enjoying the peace and quiet when the rest of the cavalcade turned up. Not sure how we’d managed to but we’d passed them at some point.

    That night we stopped in another very nice Kasbah in Tinahir.




    It had been another fun filled day. We decorated our room with wet washing, ate yet another chicken tagine and drank more cold beer. Oh, the drudgery of it all.

  11. #27
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    I woke after holding onto the contents of my bowels all night. A pleasant change. First stop today was a ride up the Todger Gorge then back down and then up the Dades valley for lunch and then back down. Tonight we would be in Ouarzazarte.

    On the way up the Todger Gorge we popped into see our friend Ahmed at the Brothers Hotel. He was all smiles and did his full on Boratt impression for us all.






    Then up into the Gorge.


    We rolled down the Gorge and headed for the Dades Valley. You all know what’s coming now don’t you?

    Yet another picture of that road, you know the bendy, twisty, winding one….




    There you go, done now, until the next time.

    At the café near the top we watched a guy doing a bit of plastering.






    Bet he wasn’t getting danger money.


    Back down the valley and a hot afternoon spent riding to Ouarzazarte. When we got there the temperature didn’t fall although the beer helped.




    I had a worry free fart that night for the first time in days. Life was good.

  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waldin View Post
    He’d packed his bike keys in his luggage on the Landie which was now well on it’s way to tonight’s hotel.
    Ali Bar Bill was contacted and told to turn around and I shot off to meet him on his way back. The rest left with Wild Bill, leaving a very embarrassed Walter at the Kasbah to wait for me to return with his keys.

    A hundred miles later I was back with Walter and we had the bike going. I then rode down the same stretch of very straight, very hot desert road for the forth time in the last 24 hours.
    l.
    If you'd had tx'd me i'd have told you a little secret of how to you don't really need keys to get the bike going.


    Quote Originally Posted by Waldin View Post
    We decorated our room with wet washing, .

    Also known as a GSers mobile.

    All your BMW servicing needs at the .gsshop.biz, including 1200 models

    Recommended as an "excellent independant" in Ride magazine 2009.

  13. #29
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    Wild Bill told us that as we’d been very good and smiled a lot he’d let us have a day off tomorrow. All we had to do today was make it down to Zagora in the south in one piece.

    Not a problem. But first we had a diversion North to Ait Benhaddou to see the fortified city that sits on the Ouarzazarte river which seems be a favourite place for film stars to work.

    I didn’t take a photo as I spent most of my time there talking to a carpet salesman with The Boy Burton. We laughed our selves silly when we eventually heard his best ever, lowest price especially for us, his friends from England. He chased us up the street but we couldn’t hear him for laughing still.

    So here’s a photo I found on the tinterweb.




    This is also a list of the movie pictures filmed there.

    * Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
    * The Man Who Would Be King (film) (1975)
    * Jesus of Nazareth (1977)
    * The Jewel of the Nile (1985)
    * The Living Daylights (1987)
    * The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
    * The Sheltering Sky (1990)
    * Kundun (1997)
    * The Mummy (1999)
    * Gladiator (2000)
    * Alexander (2004)

    Down the road again and a stop for lunch that eventually took over two hours. We ordered tagines and watched as moped riders were dispatched into the hills to fetch them.

    The view was pleasant enough while we waited though.




    Then on to the Hotel Fibule for two nights in Zagora.




    Tomorrow was a day off so me and The Boy Burton decided to do what we enjoy doing when we get time off, we thought we’d go for a bike ride.

  14. #30
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    After a dip in the pool we donned our Sunday best riding gear and set out south for the town of Mohamed, the end of the road.

    The ride went like this,

    Desert,

    Bendy road over a ridge,

    Bendy road down a ridge

    Desert,

    Bendy road over a ridge,

    Bendy road down a ridge

    Desert

    Shithole of a town called Mohamed after 60 miles.

    Then the same in reverse back to Zagora.

    Still, it got us out of the house.

    Photos on top of one of the two identical ridges we passed over on the way there, or it could have been coming back, not sure now. I can see how old Laurence got all mixed up when he first wandered around in the desert now.








    When we got back we had a drinks and cakes with the locals in a pleasant little tea shop in Zagora High Road then headed back to the hotel.

    The local mechanics had been tasked to fit wider pegs to the 1200 and wider flatter pegs to the pillions pegs on the Pan.

    Below are the results of their endeavours. I’ll let you decide on the merit of each adaptation.





    That night we dined on half a lamb/goat that had been cooking in a sealed clay oven all afternoon. We watch it being broken out of the oven and then being hacked at by Tattoo off Fantasy Island.

    And very nice it was too. Sadly lacking in mint sauce, Yorkshire puds and roasties we made do with Cous Cous.




    A pleasant way to spend a day off. I went to bed a happy man.

  15. #31
    Deleted account W
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    Up and at em tiger I shouted at The Boy Burton as I leapt out of bed, fully revived after my day off.

    He farted and rolled over so I went for breakfast alone and packed my bike while it was still moderately cool. Not a long way to go today but I was still looking forward to it.

    We passed through Adgz which defies pronunciation then hung a left for Tazenakht.

    People stopped and looked around, took photos then got on their bikes and rode on again.



    We lunched in Tazenakht which seemed nice enough, plenty of shops to amuse The Boy Burton.






    It had a hint of Milton Keynes about it though, not sure why.


    By teatime we were in a Motel type place just outside Taliouine. The town prouds itself on claiming to be the saffron capital of Morocco. Which was bore out by that nights chicken tagine (can you see a trend here?) which was so yellow it looked like someone had dropped a highlighter pen into the mix.




    On the campsite was a 65 year old Dutchman and his wife who’d been travelling in this Land Rover camper conversion for eight years. His longest trip being Amsterdam to Cape Town and back. A nice chap and a nice vehicle.






    The view from my chalet wasn’t too shabby.




    I went to bed that night and dreamed of travelling around Holland in a camper van full of yellow chickens.

  16. #32
    Nob170
    Guest
    Hi Kev,
    sounds great wish i was there

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