Marjorie Proops
Guest
Prime Minister; "Can you give a Situation Report please General"
Chief of the Defence Staff; " I can confirm a small contingent of Scottish natives have indeed conquered East Anglia Sir".
PM; " What losses"
CoD; "Nothing measurable militarily, geographically, financially, or socially Sir".
PM; "How do you suggest we respond General"
CoD; We have tried to negotiate with the terrorist natives Sir, we have an asset in place in a B&B on the Isle of Skye - he made them a generous offer to withdraw from East Anglia"
PM; Hmm, what was the response?
CoD; Bad news I'm afraid Sir, they threatened us with 'STANES'.
PM; What in Gods name is 'STANES'
CoD; GCHQ are still working on this Sir, but the closest match we have so far is
'Strategic & Tactical Arsenal, Nuclear & Environmental Shit
PM; Holy feck, where are these Weapons of Mass Destruction?
CoD; We believe they are trailer mounted Sir - fully mobile and impossible to track in the time available to us.
PM; Did we make him an offer
CoD Yes Sir, we offered him £500 million per trailer.
PM; £500!! - What did he say
CoD; Said he wanted £1,000 (million) per trailer or it was STANES.
PM; What do you mean 'In the time available to us'?
Cod; According to GCHQ the head native is is a known anti-monarchist separationist with delusions of becoming King Sir, he has a reputation for firing off between 9pm and 11pm, especially on at Friday night.
PM; How many Trident warheads do we have at Coulport?
CoD; 160 Sir.
PM; Make it 159 General.
Aye Aye Sir.
Duck Jonny
Chief of the Defence Staff; " I can confirm a small contingent of Scottish natives have indeed conquered East Anglia Sir".
PM; " What losses"
CoD; "Nothing measurable militarily, geographically, financially, or socially Sir".
PM; "How do you suggest we respond General"
CoD; We have tried to negotiate with the terrorist natives Sir, we have an asset in place in a B&B on the Isle of Skye - he made them a generous offer to withdraw from East Anglia"
PM; Hmm, what was the response?
CoD; Bad news I'm afraid Sir, they threatened us with 'STANES'.
PM; What in Gods name is 'STANES'
CoD; GCHQ are still working on this Sir, but the closest match we have so far is
'Strategic & Tactical Arsenal, Nuclear & Environmental Shit
PM; Holy feck, where are these Weapons of Mass Destruction?
CoD; We believe they are trailer mounted Sir - fully mobile and impossible to track in the time available to us.
PM; Did we make him an offer
CoD Yes Sir, we offered him £500 million per trailer.
PM; £500!! - What did he say
CoD; Said he wanted £1,000 (million) per trailer or it was STANES.
PM; What do you mean 'In the time available to us'?
Cod; According to GCHQ the head native is is a known anti-monarchist separationist with delusions of becoming King Sir, he has a reputation for firing off between 9pm and 11pm, especially on at Friday night.
PM; How many Trident warheads do we have at Coulport?
CoD; 160 Sir.
PM; Make it 159 General.
Aye Aye Sir.
Duck Jonny
