Abducted by 'Tossers in Wales'

Rushy · May 10, 2006

On Saturday 6th of May at approximately 11.30am Louise and I were abducted by 'Tossers'. This , hard though it might be to believe , is our story. Non fo the names have been changed because they were all almost too wierd to remember anyway.

It started harmlessly enough, it was quite a nice sunny morning so we decided to go for a quiet ride into Wales to sit by a lake but it wasn't long before it descended into a nightmare ride into hell

We were having a pleasant walk along a dam next to a Lake Vyrnwy when we heard the rumble of engines and exhausts moving quickly alongside the lake.

Then they came into view...... an outlaw gang of Tossers, their leader dressed in camouflage but riding a bright green bike :nenau

Few became many...
They were few in number at first ( these were soon to be known as "the fast group")............but them more came

Dahoum · May 10, 2006

Yeah - and ??????

Rushy · May 10, 2006

and then more followed

They just kept on coming and coming.......31 in total.

Wizard · May 10, 2006

Dahoum said:
Yeah - and ??????

Oh shaddup and give the guy a chance :nono

Tosser

Rushy · May 10, 2006

Actors?

These 2 were rumoured to be to actors called Charley and Ewan , researching their next role on their new bikes. A project called "The Long Way from Tipperary" or something similar...........

Their Leader ........
was this man. His haircut was as spooky as his visor and he had a certain 'menace' about him. I wanted to call him 'Dennis' but he was known as 'Tarka' by the others.

Strange Names
They had scary names like Eliminator, Shapeshifter, Legger or Mutley and Shep :eek

They were a rebel gang prepared to break ALL the rules..........

Tormented the locals.....
One of their members soon forced some of the locals to take part in impromptu drag race. The locals donned their helmets and promptly won when the gang member decided to race them on foot? :mmmm

Their steeds
Some of them proudly showed off their machines.......

Others pretended
Others like Legger , Sue and co seemed to have rented theirs.........

Four wheels not two
One of the gang, Lord Snooty I think?, was seen chastising the others for parking too near to his motorhome. Posh or what?...........

Subservient
It was about this time that Louise was made to perform menial tasks for the female members of the gang...........

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Drugs

And I was forced into taking mind altering subsatnces in the coffee shop. Pretty soon i was seeing some really wierd shit.

I even thought I saw an owl and a pussycat, or was that an owl and an otter?

Undercover cop
We had high hopes of being rescued quite soon when we realised that Minkyhead was an undercover police officer who had infiltrated the gang and had secretly and covertly smuggled in an almost undetectable video camera to record their every move. He had also brought his policeman's manual with him. Very efficient, must be with the Met' , i remember thinking to myself.

Before they could pounce
But before his colleagues could pounce and save us I was dragged in front of the leader and given a piece of paper with directions on it to a place called Bar Mouth, some of the instructions were written in some kind of code

Follow me heesh heesh heesh
And then were were off and I was forced to follow a guy called Mutley. "heesh heesh heesh heesh" was all he seemed to say

Up and up
We climbed higher and higher

Great scenery
I must admit the views near the top were nice

What goes up
.....must come down

Closely watched
We were given a close escort all the way

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Next instalment

Tomorrow ( make that later today ) ..........Bar Mouth and beyond.

Goodnight.

Aidan1150 · May 11, 2006

Tarka · May 11, 2006

Superb pictures and a very entertaining commentary.

Great Thread....keep them coming,Rushy :clap

PhilM · May 11, 2006

Great stuff, looking forward to part 2. :clap

V2 TRV · May 11, 2006

Quality writing :clap

Tsiklonaut · May 11, 2006

Very good ride you had there guys! No doubt Steve knows the place

Steve (Tarka) has done an excellent guidance drive there too for us, with a car, but in the late autums it was raining mostly. But on the contrary it gave the landscapes fantastic emotion seeing them.

Hoping to return to UK with the bike someday again, and see it under shining sun too

Thanks for the very good report with very nice touch and pics guys, that goes to all the Llangollen reports - gewd stuff! :clap

Cheers, Margus :beerjug:

legger · May 11, 2006

Rushy

Just brilliant great photos and comentry :clap

Andy

Mutley · May 11, 2006

"heesh heesh heesh heesh"

That's all I've got to say :hapybnce:

ELIMINATOR · May 11, 2006

Hilarious mate, look forward to episode 2, Barmouth and beyond.

Is Barmouth next to Poole?

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Escorted..........

We were escorted all the way too Barmouth. This was no low speed presidential parade. This was a high speed rollercoaster ride where we feared for our lives. If these guys had been in charge there is no way Lee Harvey would have had time to get 2 shots off.

Whenever I tried to slow down and lose them some guy called KevinC would come right up my rear. He was their 'rear gunner' and even under his armoured textile clothing you could tell it was a big gun

After scaring all the townsfolk with their noisy exhausts and their hatred for animals ( one of them had told me that when they join the gang the first thing they do is ditch their cats , I think he meant drown!?) they took over a corner of the seafront.

The one called Mutley immediately stood by the kerb and started demanding money from the locals, otherwise they would be 'captured' and taken to his Wibble Wobble and given a good 'roasting'. Not quite sure what he meant but you can see the sexual deviant about to accost some females passing by...............

ELIMINATOR · May 11, 2006

Bated breath.......................................

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Quite pleasant

Anyway, at least the weather was quite nice, which was just aswell as sunglasses seemed to be de rigeur in the gang. Some of the gang seem to be quite pleasant.

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Strangely familiar.....

One of them was 6ft+ and dressed head to toe in leather. He had a strange accent and an even stranger story. He told me he had stolen his motorcycle, his clothes and sunglasses from a big guy in a pool hall. He reckoned he had travelled back in time to save the life of someone who hadn't been born yet :loopy

I suggested he lowered his drug intake.

Rushy · May 11, 2006

Speaking of drugs........

My recent exposure to hallucenegenics appeared not to have completely worn off. As I watched Tarka and his inner sanctum plan their next attempt to win the "Pillage a Welsh Village" competition and take the title from their arch rivals the HOGs who were also in the area, I could swear they were being followed by a giant green hedgehog :spl1f:

Abducted by 'Tossers in Wales'

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Nice but unfortunate husband.

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