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Toubab
Dear Mrs O'Loideoin......
I would like to apologise most humbly for my part in Marc's deteriorating behaviour in the coming few days.
I'm afraid I must take responsibility for at least a little of the wee man's increasing tantrums, general grumpiness and malhumour......The ugly look on his face I'm afraid was congenital (bless his little cotton socks) so I can't be blamed for that, frankly.
I had fully intended to post the item as promised to help him retain at least a sliver of humour and happiness.....It was supposed to have been despatched yesterday, however circumstances beyond my control (A spaniel grabbing a mouthful of roast chicken feet in the petshop which I then had to pay for whilst I was en-route for the post office) I was unable to send his little box of happiness until today.
I have advised the local Garda of the situation, and they have several trained marksmen armed with donkey tranquilliser guns on standby should Marc's behaviour become too insufferable, but if I might offer a suggestion?
I believe he might best be dealt with by luring him into the garden shed with a bacon sandwich.......if you prepare the shed with a dog blanket, a photograph of Danii Minogue and a box of tissues, I believe he may stop snapping and whining for several hours, during which time you should be able to get some well deserved sleep. (If you look around the garden, you'll find a large pile of rusty metal with 'Moto Guzzi' on it....I believe that you could probably push that over to lock the door of the shed quite effectively)
If all else fails, please call Chief Superintendent Orla McPartlin on +353 1 666 6292 and she will despatch the donkey dope with all due speed.
Again, my apologies for the delay and the extra hours of misery that my abject failure will cause you......you have my deepest sympathy
Love 'n cuddles.....
Bill
PS If you see MArc with a rollup in his mouth, please rap him sharply across the knuckles with a steel ruler
I would like to apologise most humbly for my part in Marc's deteriorating behaviour in the coming few days.
I'm afraid I must take responsibility for at least a little of the wee man's increasing tantrums, general grumpiness and malhumour......The ugly look on his face I'm afraid was congenital (bless his little cotton socks) so I can't be blamed for that, frankly.
I had fully intended to post the item as promised to help him retain at least a sliver of humour and happiness.....It was supposed to have been despatched yesterday, however circumstances beyond my control (A spaniel grabbing a mouthful of roast chicken feet in the petshop which I then had to pay for whilst I was en-route for the post office) I was unable to send his little box of happiness until today.
I have advised the local Garda of the situation, and they have several trained marksmen armed with donkey tranquilliser guns on standby should Marc's behaviour become too insufferable, but if I might offer a suggestion?
I believe he might best be dealt with by luring him into the garden shed with a bacon sandwich.......if you prepare the shed with a dog blanket, a photograph of Danii Minogue and a box of tissues, I believe he may stop snapping and whining for several hours, during which time you should be able to get some well deserved sleep. (If you look around the garden, you'll find a large pile of rusty metal with 'Moto Guzzi' on it....I believe that you could probably push that over to lock the door of the shed quite effectively)
If all else fails, please call Chief Superintendent Orla McPartlin on +353 1 666 6292 and she will despatch the donkey dope with all due speed.
Again, my apologies for the delay and the extra hours of misery that my abject failure will cause you......you have my deepest sympathy
Love 'n cuddles.....
Bill
PS If you see MArc with a rollup in his mouth, please rap him sharply across the knuckles with a steel ruler
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