Free Jim - he's an innocent man!

Jim McSharry

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An innocent man - my defence:

I have been busy seeking legal advice regarding the recent images on this thread and my solicitor has asked me to print the following plea:

Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, I have been appointed by my client, Mr JW McSharry and requested to defend his credibility to the hilt.

I would ask now that you to listen his version of events and put all other considerations out of your mind; all is not as cut and dry as you have heard or read in the papers or indeed on this board.

I would ask you to consider the following events:

My client simply wasn’t at Kelso this weekend, he was elsewhere!

The real villain of this thread was a certain ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ along with Mr and Mrs McSharry look-alikes, a mock silver coloured GS1150 identical to my clients very own motor cycle and a group of innocent members from this forum - these are all but stooges in a well rehearsed façade by the devil incarnate himself!

I am not at liberty to disclose my clients whereabouts this weekend. It is however, fair to say it was his birthday – a very special day in his calendar and one that he spends with his inner self. He is not obliged to provide this information – that is for the Persecution to prove.

Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, I ask you all to accept from me that not only was my client absent from the event at Kelso, he did not partake in any organised ride out by this ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ chap on certain spectacular roads and along Forestry Commission land tracks – again this was the devil himself at work utilising his intimate knowledge of our land and terrain where he once worked as a wee lad – I further damn this ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ as he even committed these heinous acts in the fair country of England so as not to stain his own fair land!

I am advised by my client that differences exist between both he and this ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ chap – they go back a long way to when ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ accused my client of ‘nickin his nip’ when they first met at Kelso several years ago!

This ladies and gentlemen is a recent image of ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ – I plead with you all to judge him as you see him. (The red horns are not visible when seen in person – they only appear when his image subjected to digital photography).

Solicitor takes deep breath watching reactions from m’lod and the jury and finds they are swallowing the bait
 

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Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, this ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ had previously conspired with the Mr and Mrs McSharry look-alikes to take up the tail end Charlie part of the ride and ceremoniously ‘dump’ the mock 1150 in a ditch along the track of Kielder Forest when all the preceding riders were out of sight. He then went about his mischief even further knowing someone would discover the couple to be lost and back-track to find them – this ladies and gentlemen was the ‘coup de grace’ and a special time from ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’s’ perspective as he knew revenge for my client ‘nickin his nip’ would be sweet – he would have humiliated my client amongst his peers and all would return to laugh, scoff, photograph and take the peece for a long time to come!

Again, innocent stooges were his strongest allies in this conspiracy – they went along not knowing how deep rooted this ‘Kenny from ‘oop north’ chaps hatred and desire for revenge was after all these years – revenge was indeed sweet and a lesson us Sassenach’s should learn from – never nick a nip from a Scot!

I now present photographic evidence and ask you all to consider several things before you come to your decision:

That ain’t Jim
Kenny’s a devil
That ain’t Mrs Jim
Kenny’s a devil
That ain’t his ‘bike
Kenny’s a devil
Jim’s done the off road course and would have got out of there
Kenny’s a devil

You will by then end of this post have come to your own conclusions and I ask you all to agree with me in that my client is indeed an innocent man J

(Don’t know how to post a poll but it would be nice to gauge)

Is Jim not guilty or not guilty of dumping his ‘bike?

Your options, in this fair legal system we have all come to know, love and trust are as follows:

Not Guilty
Not Guilty
 
Not his 'bike

No way!
 

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Still not his bike

No way
 

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Not his mrs either

No way!
 

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Not him either

No way!
 

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Well Jim, as you gave me a tenner to stay schtum I will agree with you, as no doubt all the others that found tenners in their panniers.

Pete A
 
KENNY IS A DEVIL
 

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No one hurt, nothing to bent I hope.
I bet the photos of it comming out were better!

Steve
 
Jim - I can categorically say I never saw YOU ride YOUR bike into a ditch anywhere, so from that perspective I could assume your defense is entirely correct.................the mere fact I wasn't on the ride but looking after a rabid wife (hush there at the back) might need to be taken into mitigation mind ;)
Comin to North Yorks Moors this w/e for some practice ?
 
......."whatever",its Tuesday and I am still smiling ....... (if it was not you I hope the "actor, bike and assistant "were not damaged in the staging of this dastardly deed!!).......:hapybnce:
 
Wusnae mei

Well, isn't this very strange?
There are obviously dark powers at work within the realms of the GS world.
I, like the aforementioned Jim, was not actually at Kelso at the weekend but away on a training course relating to work.
Which of course can be corroborated.

The person or persons that other poeple have been seeing?
are either the work of the Devil, as Jim points out, or the after effect of the night before leading to some form of mass hallucination effect amongst the club members that were present.
I feel that it may be the former as niether the Jim nor the Mrs. or the bike cast a shadow in any of the photographs.

I therefore urge club members not to make any rash and unfounded judgements untill the the dark forces that lurk between two cyliders have been exorcised and sent back from whece they came.
If you were one of the possessed at the weekend then I urge you to have your bike blessed by a holy man as quickly as you can and please ignore any voices that you may here as you ride your bike.

If you were not possessed but under the influence of strange substances then you must lock yourself in a secure room and swallow the key.
Only after some cosiderable time will your flesh be free of any intoxicating substances, you also may here the same voices as the possessed, ignore them for they have no power.
When you no longer hear the voices you may then attempt escape.

Either that or there were aliens at Kelso.:alian
Any UFO sightings should be reported to the relavent authority.
If you think that you may have been 'taken' and returned at some other time then check the back of you neck for small puncture wounds or marks.
If they are present then there is little that can be done as their technology is far more advanced than ours.

Be prepared for further similar experiences

:angel Kenny :angel
 
My Tenner

Kenny are you saying my tenner might be a product of aliens.

Pete A
 
Cold pressed latinum

See if it has a reflection in a mirror?

Hold it near a radio tuned into white noise on LW and see if causes interferance.

It could be a location transmiter so they can find you for further experiments.

:D :D :D :D :D
 
Re: Cold pressed latinum

Kenny Rodkiss said:
See if it has a reflection in a mirror?

Hold it near a radio tuned into white noise on LW and see if causes interferance.

It could be a location transmiter so they can find you for further experiments.

:D :D :D :D :D

That might explain the stange light in the sky tonight, I thought it was the sun.

Pete A
 
If the "Man who fell to ditch" was an alien imposter, you have got to wonder what strange alien substance was contained within the T shirts he was selling. I would be very wary of them.

Jim,ll ditch it for you and you and you and yoo hoo hoo.

Anyhoo the real McFlurry is far more handsome than that hideous thing what I seen at the weekend
 
So, I'm innocent then eh?

My faith in our legal system has been restored:rolleyes:

Truth is - Pamela was at the helm :D
 
More impersonators:
 

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Innocent? then maybe you would like to explain what you're doing to Matron??
 

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