Doug
Registered user
We have a new Welsh smilie, I don't know what he's got in the palm of his hand but legend says it's the England rugby team, he's also tosser shaped with a 'she loves me she loves me not tail'
Here's a couple of (recycled
) jokes to welcome him
Little Jeremy FForbes-Smythe was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up;-
Fireman, policeman, salesman, politician; Jeremy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap room and let them shag him."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took little Jeremy aside.
She asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Jeremy, "My father plays rugby for England, but I was just too embarrassed to say".
In 1989 three kids were playing in the street in Richmond when they were hit by a bus. They all go to heaven and God says to them, "You weren't supposed to die, you were all supposed to live out your lives. This was not your time. To make it up to you I'll let you choose what you want to do with your life. Take a running jump off of that cloud over there and as you're flying back down to Earth shout out what you want to do. And so it shall be."
The 1st kid takes a running leap and shouts, "Lawyer" and so, 20 years later he is a very successful lawyer making lots of money with an upcoming appointment to the Bench.
The 2nd kid takes his turn and shouts, "Brain surgeon" and so, 20 years later he is the most admired man in his field of medicine and making a ton of money saving lives.
The 3rd kid goes to take his turn, and as he runs he trips over his own feet and stumbles of the cloud muttering, "Stupid clumsy a*sehole." 20 years later he's playing scrum half for England.
Here's a couple of (recycled
) jokes to welcome himLittle Jeremy FForbes-Smythe was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up;-
Fireman, policeman, salesman, politician; Jeremy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap room and let them shag him."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took little Jeremy aside.
She asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Jeremy, "My father plays rugby for England, but I was just too embarrassed to say".
In 1989 three kids were playing in the street in Richmond when they were hit by a bus. They all go to heaven and God says to them, "You weren't supposed to die, you were all supposed to live out your lives. This was not your time. To make it up to you I'll let you choose what you want to do with your life. Take a running jump off of that cloud over there and as you're flying back down to Earth shout out what you want to do. And so it shall be."
The 1st kid takes a running leap and shouts, "Lawyer" and so, 20 years later he is a very successful lawyer making lots of money with an upcoming appointment to the Bench.
The 2nd kid takes his turn and shouts, "Brain surgeon" and so, 20 years later he is the most admired man in his field of medicine and making a ton of money saving lives.
The 3rd kid goes to take his turn, and as he runs he trips over his own feet and stumbles of the cloud muttering, "Stupid clumsy a*sehole." 20 years later he's playing scrum half for England.
onyack 
BHT will ban me if I ask for any more or changes 
