The hot sun beats down on a nondescript pale Englishman abroad.
Soaking up the rays with as little sun protection cream as is possible to spread on the feeble white body. It burns .
Pic 049
So for the next day, factor 30 sun lotion is smeared on like greasing a turkey. But it’s easy to miss parts, and those missed areas get roasted a nice glowing red. Plus it helps if you wear a UV resistant shower cap.
This behaviour is natural for all British males. It’s in our genes.
Phone pic
British men never look comfortable in swimming trunks. I don’t mean shorts , I ‘m talking budgie smugglers, the speedo.
I’m a speedo wearer, because I’m in the sea and pool a lot of the time, and shorts/long trunks are uncomfortable if you have to lay in them, perhaps that’s why the wife and son always leave a conspicuous gap to where I am when laying around the pool.
This got me thinking. I’ve had my speedos for a number of years, and before that I can only remember owning three other pairs of swimming trunks. The very first pair when I was 7. The next pair, a nice tie-dye Bermuda trunk were bought in Harry Fentons, a mens clothes shop/outfitters, Putney in 1971. I can know it was 1971, because the kinks were playing on the radio, supersonic rocket ship, and for some reason it’s always stayed in my mind.
These lasted up until the mid eighties. When a pair of striped M&S swimming shorts entered my life. They saw me through a marriage and the birth of my son.
Then the speedos appeared. I don’t have the foggiest where I bought them from, but they’re still here.
Anyway. Went for a walk along the beach. Without a sun hat or cream.
And came across a boat. How do you resist the offer of a luxurious boat ride, and without any sun protection.
Did I mention that the boat was a foot wide, and you had to stand up.
I didn’t, I had the captains quarters.
Jake, my son, had to stand in the engine room.
A mile out to sea, and we felt a bit isolated. The old man and the Sea. Can we go back now please. Now.
Back on dry land. And thankful. A bracing walk back to the hotel
.
Then you do what comes naturally. A nice cup of tea, and a piece of cake. Or several pieces, seeing as they don’t have any chocolate cake.
I took the opportunity of having a relaxing head, shoulder and back massage. It was only £5 for half hour.
Booked an afternoon appointment, arrived at the right time, and took the correct money with me.
Five minutes into the massage I was soooo relaxed, “wonderful” I thought. Then it suddenly occurred to me that I only had £5, the correct money. I had no tip !!
So the next 25 minutes of the relaxing massage was spent getting stressed out worrying about having no tip.
Got back to the pool more stressed out than when I went.
So chilled out with some Frank, while looking at the ants drinking my tea and watched the sun go down.
Went to see some friends, who’d had their house ( not a house as you might know it) wiped off the map when the tsunami hit. They’re still rebuilding it. All the houses along the beach front have disappeared , and they aren’t allowed to build new ones in the same place.
Our friends “house” is now nearest the beach, approx 50 feet away. So he’ll be safe if it happens again, the government told him so.
Heres the view from their “house”
And some of what’s left of the other houses. Three years after it happened, and no help clearing it up from the government. But Colombo now has a brand new shiny modern airport terminal. And a few new government buildings. **** the poor.
And in the terminal a nice cordoned off area for any clergy that visit - whats that all about ??
There used to be peoples homes here on the right of the road.
Here’s Rupa, Known him for 12 years, Complete with an English sense of humour, and one of the funniest men I’ve met.
And his family, complete with bricks we’d bought for him to finish off his house
And I get to use his tuc tuc while in the country. The locals aren’t used to seeing a white ( red & white) man driving a tuc tuc.
This is Rizzo, he's nicknamed Rizzo because he walks like rizzo ( the dustin hoffman character) in midnight cowboy. he had polio as a kid. He always tried to get us to visit his house for lunch, he lived with his father who had gangrene in his legs/feet, and the place absolutely stunk, enough to get the dry heaves. Wasn't being disrespectful , but there's only so much you can do, and my missus refused point blank. His father died four years ago, now his by himself.
The place gets full up with Russians at the end of December beginning of January, they celebrate their Christmas on 5th Jan, and they’re a nightmare.
But it’s surprising what they bring with them.
I swapped a T shirt ( genuine American), for a pukka Russian hat, just what you need in 26 c heat.
Anyway, that’ll do for now. I can see you all falling asleep .
Soaking up the rays with as little sun protection cream as is possible to spread on the feeble white body. It burns .
Pic 049
So for the next day, factor 30 sun lotion is smeared on like greasing a turkey. But it’s easy to miss parts, and those missed areas get roasted a nice glowing red. Plus it helps if you wear a UV resistant shower cap.
This behaviour is natural for all British males. It’s in our genes.
Phone pic
British men never look comfortable in swimming trunks. I don’t mean shorts , I ‘m talking budgie smugglers, the speedo.
I’m a speedo wearer, because I’m in the sea and pool a lot of the time, and shorts/long trunks are uncomfortable if you have to lay in them, perhaps that’s why the wife and son always leave a conspicuous gap to where I am when laying around the pool.
This got me thinking. I’ve had my speedos for a number of years, and before that I can only remember owning three other pairs of swimming trunks. The very first pair when I was 7. The next pair, a nice tie-dye Bermuda trunk were bought in Harry Fentons, a mens clothes shop/outfitters, Putney in 1971. I can know it was 1971, because the kinks were playing on the radio, supersonic rocket ship, and for some reason it’s always stayed in my mind.
These lasted up until the mid eighties. When a pair of striped M&S swimming shorts entered my life. They saw me through a marriage and the birth of my son.
Then the speedos appeared. I don’t have the foggiest where I bought them from, but they’re still here.
Anyway. Went for a walk along the beach. Without a sun hat or cream.
And came across a boat. How do you resist the offer of a luxurious boat ride, and without any sun protection.
Did I mention that the boat was a foot wide, and you had to stand up.
I didn’t, I had the captains quarters.
Jake, my son, had to stand in the engine room.
A mile out to sea, and we felt a bit isolated. The old man and the Sea. Can we go back now please. Now.
Back on dry land. And thankful. A bracing walk back to the hotel
.Then you do what comes naturally. A nice cup of tea, and a piece of cake. Or several pieces, seeing as they don’t have any chocolate cake.
I took the opportunity of having a relaxing head, shoulder and back massage. It was only £5 for half hour.
Booked an afternoon appointment, arrived at the right time, and took the correct money with me.
Five minutes into the massage I was soooo relaxed, “wonderful” I thought. Then it suddenly occurred to me that I only had £5, the correct money. I had no tip !!
So the next 25 minutes of the relaxing massage was spent getting stressed out worrying about having no tip.
Got back to the pool more stressed out than when I went.
So chilled out with some Frank, while looking at the ants drinking my tea and watched the sun go down.
Went to see some friends, who’d had their house ( not a house as you might know it) wiped off the map when the tsunami hit. They’re still rebuilding it. All the houses along the beach front have disappeared , and they aren’t allowed to build new ones in the same place.
Our friends “house” is now nearest the beach, approx 50 feet away. So he’ll be safe if it happens again, the government told him so.
Heres the view from their “house”
And some of what’s left of the other houses. Three years after it happened, and no help clearing it up from the government. But Colombo now has a brand new shiny modern airport terminal. And a few new government buildings. **** the poor.
And in the terminal a nice cordoned off area for any clergy that visit - whats that all about ??
There used to be peoples homes here on the right of the road.
Here’s Rupa, Known him for 12 years, Complete with an English sense of humour, and one of the funniest men I’ve met.
And his family, complete with bricks we’d bought for him to finish off his house
And I get to use his tuc tuc while in the country. The locals aren’t used to seeing a white ( red & white) man driving a tuc tuc.
This is Rizzo, he's nicknamed Rizzo because he walks like rizzo ( the dustin hoffman character) in midnight cowboy. he had polio as a kid. He always tried to get us to visit his house for lunch, he lived with his father who had gangrene in his legs/feet, and the place absolutely stunk, enough to get the dry heaves. Wasn't being disrespectful , but there's only so much you can do, and my missus refused point blank. His father died four years ago, now his by himself.
The place gets full up with Russians at the end of December beginning of January, they celebrate their Christmas on 5th Jan, and they’re a nightmare.
But it’s surprising what they bring with them.
I swapped a T shirt ( genuine American), for a pukka Russian hat, just what you need in 26 c heat.
Anyway, that’ll do for now. I can see you all falling asleep .
