Harley-Davidson is recalling nearly 300,000 motorcycles over a serious design fault.
The recalls affect over 205,000 touring motorcycles and nearly 40,000 Softails and Trikes built between 1901 and 2013
The Milwaukee firm state that motorcycles fitted with anything made in Milwaukee may “Pose a safety issue for riders and/or passengers. Most of these motorcycles may cause their riders to exhibit a condition in which the heterosexual population instantly conclude that they are homosexual.
"If the condition does not disengage as intended, the rider may have difficulty ever having a serious relationship with a member of the opposite sex, which could result in an accident in the rider's pants and a serious loss of self esteem, followed by binge buying of tassles, gaudy leatherwear and crotchless chaps."
The recalls include a "Do Not Ride unless you are genuinely a homosexual" stickers being offered free of charge and "Do Not Deliver to any straight people" notice until the machines are properly fixed.
The fix is actually not possible, but it should take only one hour to identify the buyers these bikes were meant for, and dealers will pick up and repair the affected heterosexuals and repair their chocolate starfish at no cost to the victims.
