Tale Of A Moist Shag

An aftergspottreatmentbytheproffmeister-cigarette :eyesdown :D

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I'm having a Faaaggggg! :eek:onyack

Nice report, understood it perfectly and and the next time we meet I'm having what your on! :aidan
 
Next day, Master, Mistress, Mr. Tonedbody and Mr. Walklikejohnwayne brekkie troughing listerning to wet splatty splatt splatt on window...

Master go checky on tenty riders... Master say he must stop at Proffessor Gspotinspectors First Aid Post for some medicine administered by Nurse Babs. He say to relief pain :augie

Master now feel better after dose of medicine and take Mistress, Mr. Pussycat, Mr. Walklikejohnwayne and Mr. Bigbackwheelnuts for ceremony. Mr. Pussycat very happy cause he knows this ceremony very, very well ;)

First everyone must get wet and lubed...

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Then Master show other riders how to lick Mr. Pussy's invisible helmet clean :eek:


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Mr. Pussy always very eager to help out in this ceremony and says it always a pleasure to do his duties :D


TBC
 
Mr. Cameltoe, keeps his helmet dry and packs emergency tampon away. He so excited by wet night with riders, his trousers soaked with juices and take two days to dry :eek: He exhausted and beg for refuge in Kamasoota Club :D

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Mr. Pussy, happy with clean helmet, rides off in search of new prey..

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He wants to go Inn so he can come out again :confused:

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TBC
 
Me had rest for three days while Master and Mistress partied.

Me got well hosed and got a good cleaning out.

Master tired so only had quickie today.

Master say he wet enough inside so only dry ride :eek:

Before Master left, Mr. Windaelicker told us that Mr. Tentpole had taken a slide, broken his knee and bent his ride :( Very sad news :tears

Went to Broadford Hospital, but he had already been taken by padded ambulance to Ravemore Institution in Inbredness :eek:

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TBC
 
On way round coast road to Applecross, road is blocked by rider looking for some action :confused:


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Spoke in Phlegmish until he recognised Master.


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Master was able to tell Mr. Pussycat of Mr. Tentpole's sad fate :(

Mr. Pussycat said he would go in search of a fag to take to Mr. Tentpole as he was gagging on one :confused:

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Master enjoyed the dry ride round the coast

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Master wanted to ride the crest and then do it again.

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Coming back up for the second attempt, saw two boxes at the top that had seen eye to eye.



Their steerers were nowhere to be seen...very strange :confused:

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Turns out local and tourist were undecided as who should give way...no-one hurt but boxes left for a day until recovery could be attempted :rolleyes:


TBC
 
Next day, big storm in morning until dinnertime...too soggy for Master to venture out of tenty to ride me...

Master phoned Ravemore and was told by nursey that Mr. Pussycat was in and holding Mr. Tentpole's hand while they laughed at smell and sounds of man having botty excavated by hand :confused: :eek: :eek

Master spoke to both and told operation imminent so trip to visit postponed... He was in the good hands of Mr. Pussycat...though not sure he was quite so desperate for a fag anymore :ymca

When dampness dried, Master rode me up and down to Torridon...interesting uppies and downies out there

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Cuming down on Applecross, Master said there was some horney young bucks lurking

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Yes horney young bucks for sure

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Troughtime for Master and Mistress at Applecross Inn

Outside Mr. Gull was waiting and trying to decide...

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which of the tourists cars to decorate :D

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Nice night, maybe good day for ride tomorrow to visit Mr. Tentpole

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On the next day Master was happy that he could dry hump his gear onto me.

Master also happy he could mount me without liquids running down his legs.

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No damp exhaust port for Master today :D

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Master stopped to get "Essential Supplies" for Mr. Tentpole. Master wrapped some green cans in black tape, then poured half a bottle of Irn Bru away and poured in some clear liquid :confused:

Master tried to get some cheesy porn for Mr. Tentpole but Tesco's dont do that. Mr. Tentpole would have to make do with Heat, FHM, Morphine and his imagination ;) Fags and ciggies not allowed, so Master got some Lamberts for later and nikko gum to aid the Morphine along

Mr. Tentpole was happy to see a friendly face and gave Tosser salute

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Then Master asked him how many fingers Professor Gspotinspector had used...

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Mr. Tentpole out of op and in good spirits. Told Master to organise taxi home.
Master tried but they were busy...

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Time was short and Master was turned away from Inbredness campsite :spitfire So had to aim for Drumyarocket...not rec campsite :(

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Cum morning, Master ready to go from noisy campsite by main road :mad:

Master want to take detour so he dont interupt Mr. Tentpole at troughtime.

Took Shag for ride in the woods. Many midgies...midgies like Shag...then like to crawl into Master's pants... and helmet... very itchy on Master's head...make it go red and spotty...:eek:


Midgies in Glen Affric

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Then Master want to stop at favourite haunt of Mr. Pussycat, me not know why :confused:

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Master think of Gspotinspection pain and Mr. Pussycat's pleasure, Master want some of Mr. Tentpole's Morphine

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Glen Cannich... no midgies but gravelly road nearly making Master's drainhole leak twice :eek

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Then onto Ravemore Institute and a happy Mr. Tentpole... Today no plaster on knee and special erection machine for Mr. Tentpole which make him perk up :augie

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Machine go up and down on him every minute :) He happy

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Only small war wound outside but Master say like Barry now :confused:

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Mr. Tentpole very talkative today because no strong drugs, only some Irn Bru and painkillers :) Master stay too long and then must ride fast, very fast because Mistress birthday and Master must find Hotel quickly or Master in big septic tank full of bottyleakage :eek
 
Master lucky...he find Hotel at last :cool:

Hotelman say he lock Shag away all night in compound guarded by hairy dog :eek:


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Master happy with trough...Haggis, black and white pudding pillar in special cream :eek:


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TBC
 
Shag kind to Master today, me let Master ride without damp innerlegs today.

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In the middle of nowhere, Master come across Danish rider trying to hump his very old Suzy in ditch. Master have to pull them apart, then a van came along to pull Suzy out of the deep ditch - she was tired from action in ditch and very lazy. Master give Danish rider after humpdump cigarettes. Mistress very, very slow with camera :blast

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Danish rider fine after two fags but his legs still a bit shaky after action on Suzy. Miss Suzy okay too after ride in damp ditch - only need Master to apply a bit of Gafferplasters and straighten her cosmetic mirror and crutch. Master tell them to get a bed next time.


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Master go bi-Tongue and down and up again to end Locktinher at good Bistro for top troughing. Then to campsite where Master say like Maldives apart from heat and hot chicks :confused:

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