11 countries. Belgium>Germany>France>Switzerland>Italy>Slovenia>Croatia>Bosnia>Luxenbourg>holland>england
Its feckin hard work these bikey holidays.
Photos are totally random cause I cant be bothered to sort em out.
One of countless hotels. This one in Split.
Travelled down through Belgia, into Germany to find the D500 again through the Black forest. I was on my way to pick up 'she who travels by plane' in Zurich. Its still one of the best roads ever made. Stopped for the night in what I thought was Germany, but found that I'd strayed back into France. Bu*gger-me, I thought to myself. At least when they had proper borders you knew what country you were in !!
Had a brush with a van at 90 whilst we were both fighting for first dibs on a slip road. Left a nice scrape right along the side of it. Good start.
On the coast road to Split.
From Zurich,we headed down through Swiss bits, over a few lovely passes, finally reaching Bormio (stelvio hotel) after going down the mighty Stelvio Pass.
A lake in Italy ... or was it Switzerland.
Next day, we thought... Trieste, we will go there. After spending half the day in tunnels, we ended up in Padova.
I got very angry in Padova. Dya want to know why? Feckin banks !!
Now ... every year, round about september, I go abroad on the bike. I take my debit card. It works. It worked in Zurich.
Now it wont work anywhere. Has Louise any money ? 'No .. you were dealing with that' she says.
I dont have the banks phone number. Anyway, the phone has decided that it suddenly needs a code number to make it work ... which I dont have either.
Louise finds her debit card which has a couple of hundred pound in it, so we get a cheap hotel.
No we never. We got a dear one. Feck them all !! 150Euros.
It will be bus stops and parks and begging for the next three weeks.
A few bullet holes. Mostar.
Next morning. Got phone to work. Found bank number. Man at 'card enquiries says, 'we noticed unusual transactions on your account'.
I said **** ******** ***** ****** **** every ****** year at this time you ****** *****. If you had looked you would have found out I just purchased shed loads of foreign money a week ago you ***** ******.
He fixed my card and said 'have a nice holiday'.
We went to Porec in Croatia. A really old scabby Grand Hotel. Lovely rusty balconies overlooking the harbour.
A second-hand tank lot in Bosnia.
Next day, onward round coast to Pula. Scenery mediochre. Pula nice. Sat eating at night in a big square with Roman buildings and a guy playing Floyd and stuff to entertain us. He was really good.
Me, asking for some sunshine in Luxenbourg.
Krk island was the next stop for two nights. A lovely wee hotel by the harbour in a town called Malinska. In the outside bar area, a dozen oldish Croats and their guitars, fiddles and double bass were singing traditional Croat folk songs.
What a nice experience.
One pair of expensive linen trousers. That was the only ones I took with me. I sat on a bench with chewing gum on it.
Through the round bog window at Lake Garda hotel while sitting.
The coast road to Split is unbelievably nice. Had to stop at a wee place named St Fillip Jackoff for coffee. Had to ask the waitress what the name of this charming place was .... just for a laugh. It didnt sound the same when she said it.
After that we 'lost the coast road' and found ourselves travelling inland (which was still lovely in a barren sort of way) and onto a motorway with nothing on it. Toll booth man was angry with us for some reason, wrong money or something. Called me Speedy Gonzales.
Split is OK, in a 'city sort of way'.
Went looking for seedy bars so we could speak like Humphrey Bogard to each other.
Chocolate and fag break somewhere in France.
Headed for Dubrovnik, but decided that we were temporarily fed up with coastal towns so we went to Mostar in Bosnia. Had a barny with border guard about green cards. Told him we were from Iceland and we didnt need them. He said we did, but I confused him some more and he let us in.
Got a fantastic suite in the hotel Pellegino in Mostar. Balcony, plasma telly, the room was about the size of my house.
Bumped into Kenny Rodkiss and his wife. Sorry, Ive forgot your name. Had a few beers and swapped travel tales. It was a lovely chance meeting.
Mostar is full of holes. It really brings it home to you how bad it was during the war. Bosnia, no matter where you go, is full of holes. Its unbelievable.
The bridge was nice.
Nancy toon square. France.
From Mostar, through Bosnia to a shitty wee place named Bihac. It was like a seventies communist block town.
Had a brilliant mixed grill at the hotel though.
Got stopped for speeding, but used confusing tactics once again and eventually we were sent on our way.
Cafe on Croatia coast road.
Thirty miles up the road and back into Croatia, we arrived at Plitvice lakes, where we got a room.
This is The garden of Eden. Its a truly wonderful place, ( if it wasnt for the crowds of people following women holding up brollies).
If you are going to Croatia, spend a day at Plitvice. You will like it.
Stelvio beer in Bormio. At the end of the pass.
Headed north, to Zagreb or maybe the Italian lakes. We tossed a coin to decide. Zagreb won ..... so we headed for the Italian lakes. Found a museum with tanks and a crashed jet. Interesting.
Eventually got to a sticky-out bit of Italy about a hundred miles short of Venice. An island with a bridge and a town called Grado, where we stayed the night. Discovered wine spritzers and had many.
Hotel owner invited us to his Jazz club. Cool.
I accidently set the air-con to minimum that night and we woke up almost frozen to the mattress. Cool.
Everyone should have the Touratech passport holder.
Went to Lake Garda next. Another nice place. Had to buy cream for mozzie bites. Nice big water blisters were forming. To burst or not to burst ... that is the question. I decided to experiment and burst two and leave two. Found a really nice beach bar at the far end of Garda town with a band playing.
Me being childish and immature. Nothing different there then.
Forgot if Guzzis were made at Lake Garda or Lake Como. Asked hotel bloke. He said Como, so we went there.
Never found Guzzi place. Actually, never bothered to look for it. Had eats at side of lake and watched policemen playing with their boats. Some folk have great jobs. Why is mine so crap. I want to be a Lake Como polisman ... with a boat ... and a gun...
Discussed todays destination and went to Lake Lacarno. Not so nice and full of gayboys.
Going up a hill .. to a bend .. heading for Stelvio pass.
We were getting too 'north'. Should have spent more days in Croatia. Should have went to Dubrovnik after all.
Due to a severe lack of planning, we didnt know where to go.
Nancy looks nice, Loui says. We went to Nancy.
Nancy was nice. We chose the New York hotel. It was across from the laundrette and we were getting smelly.
After the Laundry session, we headed into the town. The main square is amazing. We dined in a outside restaurant and all of a sudden all the lighting in the square went off.
A truly spectacular lighting show then started. All against this huge 150ft long classy palace sort of building. I think it was showing the history of France or Nancy or something like that. Accompanied with music, it was great.
An offroad foray.
Next day Reims. It was raining in Reims. Saw a fight in McDonalds. We were only there because all the panzy French had retired indoors and we had missed the 'eating slot'. Nothing wrong with a Big Mac occasionally. Especially when the security guard is entertaining you with his boxing skills !!
Im getting fed up now. Never mind, you have only got a couple of days holiday tales to go.
Im away for a coffee.
Its feckin hard work these bikey holidays.
Photos are totally random cause I cant be bothered to sort em out.
One of countless hotels. This one in Split.
Travelled down through Belgia, into Germany to find the D500 again through the Black forest. I was on my way to pick up 'she who travels by plane' in Zurich. Its still one of the best roads ever made. Stopped for the night in what I thought was Germany, but found that I'd strayed back into France. Bu*gger-me, I thought to myself. At least when they had proper borders you knew what country you were in !!
Had a brush with a van at 90 whilst we were both fighting for first dibs on a slip road. Left a nice scrape right along the side of it. Good start.
On the coast road to Split.
From Zurich,we headed down through Swiss bits, over a few lovely passes, finally reaching Bormio (stelvio hotel) after going down the mighty Stelvio Pass.
A lake in Italy ... or was it Switzerland.
Next day, we thought... Trieste, we will go there. After spending half the day in tunnels, we ended up in Padova.
I got very angry in Padova. Dya want to know why? Feckin banks !!
Now ... every year, round about september, I go abroad on the bike. I take my debit card. It works. It worked in Zurich.
Now it wont work anywhere. Has Louise any money ? 'No .. you were dealing with that' she says.
I dont have the banks phone number. Anyway, the phone has decided that it suddenly needs a code number to make it work ... which I dont have either.
Louise finds her debit card which has a couple of hundred pound in it, so we get a cheap hotel.
No we never. We got a dear one. Feck them all !! 150Euros.
It will be bus stops and parks and begging for the next three weeks.
A few bullet holes. Mostar.
Next morning. Got phone to work. Found bank number. Man at 'card enquiries says, 'we noticed unusual transactions on your account'.
I said **** ******** ***** ****** **** every ****** year at this time you ****** *****. If you had looked you would have found out I just purchased shed loads of foreign money a week ago you ***** ******.
He fixed my card and said 'have a nice holiday'.
We went to Porec in Croatia. A really old scabby Grand Hotel. Lovely rusty balconies overlooking the harbour.
A second-hand tank lot in Bosnia.
Next day, onward round coast to Pula. Scenery mediochre. Pula nice. Sat eating at night in a big square with Roman buildings and a guy playing Floyd and stuff to entertain us. He was really good.
Me, asking for some sunshine in Luxenbourg.
Krk island was the next stop for two nights. A lovely wee hotel by the harbour in a town called Malinska. In the outside bar area, a dozen oldish Croats and their guitars, fiddles and double bass were singing traditional Croat folk songs.
What a nice experience.
One pair of expensive linen trousers. That was the only ones I took with me. I sat on a bench with chewing gum on it.
Through the round bog window at Lake Garda hotel while sitting.
The coast road to Split is unbelievably nice. Had to stop at a wee place named St Fillip Jackoff for coffee. Had to ask the waitress what the name of this charming place was .... just for a laugh. It didnt sound the same when she said it.
After that we 'lost the coast road' and found ourselves travelling inland (which was still lovely in a barren sort of way) and onto a motorway with nothing on it. Toll booth man was angry with us for some reason, wrong money or something. Called me Speedy Gonzales.
Split is OK, in a 'city sort of way'.
Went looking for seedy bars so we could speak like Humphrey Bogard to each other.
Chocolate and fag break somewhere in France.
Headed for Dubrovnik, but decided that we were temporarily fed up with coastal towns so we went to Mostar in Bosnia. Had a barny with border guard about green cards. Told him we were from Iceland and we didnt need them. He said we did, but I confused him some more and he let us in.
Got a fantastic suite in the hotel Pellegino in Mostar. Balcony, plasma telly, the room was about the size of my house.
Bumped into Kenny Rodkiss and his wife. Sorry, Ive forgot your name. Had a few beers and swapped travel tales. It was a lovely chance meeting.
Mostar is full of holes. It really brings it home to you how bad it was during the war. Bosnia, no matter where you go, is full of holes. Its unbelievable.
The bridge was nice.
Nancy toon square. France.
From Mostar, through Bosnia to a shitty wee place named Bihac. It was like a seventies communist block town.
Had a brilliant mixed grill at the hotel though.
Got stopped for speeding, but used confusing tactics once again and eventually we were sent on our way.
Cafe on Croatia coast road.
Thirty miles up the road and back into Croatia, we arrived at Plitvice lakes, where we got a room.
This is The garden of Eden. Its a truly wonderful place, ( if it wasnt for the crowds of people following women holding up brollies).
If you are going to Croatia, spend a day at Plitvice. You will like it.
Stelvio beer in Bormio. At the end of the pass.
Headed north, to Zagreb or maybe the Italian lakes. We tossed a coin to decide. Zagreb won ..... so we headed for the Italian lakes. Found a museum with tanks and a crashed jet. Interesting.
Eventually got to a sticky-out bit of Italy about a hundred miles short of Venice. An island with a bridge and a town called Grado, where we stayed the night. Discovered wine spritzers and had many.
Hotel owner invited us to his Jazz club. Cool.
I accidently set the air-con to minimum that night and we woke up almost frozen to the mattress. Cool.
Everyone should have the Touratech passport holder.
Went to Lake Garda next. Another nice place. Had to buy cream for mozzie bites. Nice big water blisters were forming. To burst or not to burst ... that is the question. I decided to experiment and burst two and leave two. Found a really nice beach bar at the far end of Garda town with a band playing.
Me being childish and immature. Nothing different there then.
Forgot if Guzzis were made at Lake Garda or Lake Como. Asked hotel bloke. He said Como, so we went there.
Never found Guzzi place. Actually, never bothered to look for it. Had eats at side of lake and watched policemen playing with their boats. Some folk have great jobs. Why is mine so crap. I want to be a Lake Como polisman ... with a boat ... and a gun...
Discussed todays destination and went to Lake Lacarno. Not so nice and full of gayboys.
Going up a hill .. to a bend .. heading for Stelvio pass.
We were getting too 'north'. Should have spent more days in Croatia. Should have went to Dubrovnik after all.
Due to a severe lack of planning, we didnt know where to go.
Nancy looks nice, Loui says. We went to Nancy.
Nancy was nice. We chose the New York hotel. It was across from the laundrette and we were getting smelly.
After the Laundry session, we headed into the town. The main square is amazing. We dined in a outside restaurant and all of a sudden all the lighting in the square went off.
A truly spectacular lighting show then started. All against this huge 150ft long classy palace sort of building. I think it was showing the history of France or Nancy or something like that. Accompanied with music, it was great.
An offroad foray.
Next day Reims. It was raining in Reims. Saw a fight in McDonalds. We were only there because all the panzy French had retired indoors and we had missed the 'eating slot'. Nothing wrong with a Big Mac occasionally. Especially when the security guard is entertaining you with his boxing skills !!
Im getting fed up now. Never mind, you have only got a couple of days holiday tales to go.
Im away for a coffee.