A mate of mine organised a ride out to the Cotswolds today. He lives in Evesham so the meeting place was at Twyfords Services by Evesham. Four of us made our way their from Redditch and there were a few more arriving from elsewhere I already knew. Then it happened, we were joined by a Harley rider on a Livewire - just £26,000 to you sir! He and his partner dismount and they are bedecked from head to foot in their "look at me I've bought myself a Harley lifestyle" regalia. 
He takes his helmet off and then looks at the rest of the group numbering about 10 and scowls, he is not a happy HOGster.
"I never realised there was going to be a group of us" he whines.
Dave (organiser) - "Why? Is there a problem?"
"Well yes because of my high position in my HOG chapter!" he bristles.
Up to this point the majority of us have been ignoring him but this definitley got our attention and we all turned to listen to see where this bullshit was going.
Dave "What do you mean, what has your position in HOG got to do with anything?"
Smug Harley Twat "Well we have a new rule in my chapter that due to COVID we are only allowed to go out with no more than six people" The whining goes up a notch. I shit you not!
Dave "But you are not with your chapter and none of them are here"
Total Idiot Harley Twat, now ratchets this surreal exchange up to off the scale - "Yes but if one of them sees me and takes a photo and reports me I will lose my high status in the chapter". Spoken without a hint of irony or self-awareness of how much of a prat he was being.
At this moment we have to turn our backs on him to suppress our sniggering and desire to burst into guffaws of laughter. FFS! Was this guy for real? What planet are these wankers on? Could he get his head any further up his own arse if he tried?
Anyway, he decides that now he is here he will grace us with his presence on the ride, how munificent of him. It then transpires that his bike is showing a range of just 80 miles on its current charge as the dickhead forgot to charge it last night. We head off with Mr Harley Lifestyle last but one and my mate Darren taking up the rear on his GS. After about 30-40 miles of wandering around some fantastic Cotwolds B and unclassified roads we realise we have lost the last two bikers so we pull into a layby to wait.
After about 5 minutes or so Darren rocks up to give us the tragic news that Mr Pretentious High Status has run out of electrons and is stranded by the side of the road
I kid you not. He has had to call out a recovery truck. Oh dear, never mind, what a pity.
As none of us happened to be carrying a spare box of electrons to stuff into his batteries with much regret we carried on to the Old Prison Cafe at Northleach and enjoyed coffee and bacon butties in the sun and quickly forgot about our encounter with the ludicrous Hoggies.
He takes his helmet off and then looks at the rest of the group numbering about 10 and scowls, he is not a happy HOGster."I never realised there was going to be a group of us" he whines.
Dave (organiser) - "Why? Is there a problem?"
"Well yes because of my high position in my HOG chapter!" he bristles.
Up to this point the majority of us have been ignoring him but this definitley got our attention and we all turned to listen to see where this bullshit was going.
Dave "What do you mean, what has your position in HOG got to do with anything?"
Smug Harley Twat "Well we have a new rule in my chapter that due to COVID we are only allowed to go out with no more than six people" The whining goes up a notch. I shit you not!
Dave "But you are not with your chapter and none of them are here"
Total Idiot Harley Twat, now ratchets this surreal exchange up to off the scale - "Yes but if one of them sees me and takes a photo and reports me I will lose my high status in the chapter". Spoken without a hint of irony or self-awareness of how much of a prat he was being.
At this moment we have to turn our backs on him to suppress our sniggering and desire to burst into guffaws of laughter. FFS! Was this guy for real? What planet are these wankers on? Could he get his head any further up his own arse if he tried?
Anyway, he decides that now he is here he will grace us with his presence on the ride, how munificent of him. It then transpires that his bike is showing a range of just 80 miles on its current charge as the dickhead forgot to charge it last night. We head off with Mr Harley Lifestyle last but one and my mate Darren taking up the rear on his GS. After about 30-40 miles of wandering around some fantastic Cotwolds B and unclassified roads we realise we have lost the last two bikers so we pull into a layby to wait.
After about 5 minutes or so Darren rocks up to give us the tragic news that Mr Pretentious High Status has run out of electrons and is stranded by the side of the road
I kid you not. He has had to call out a recovery truck. Oh dear, never mind, what a pity.As none of us happened to be carrying a spare box of electrons to stuff into his batteries with much regret we carried on to the Old Prison Cafe at Northleach and enjoyed coffee and bacon butties in the sun and quickly forgot about our encounter with the ludicrous Hoggies.
