Britishbeefy, you want non-sensible comments, don't need to ask twice, let the banter begin, come on Tossers you heard the guy.
Shall I begin. You could always have a normal every day bike and a "Gout" bike for when you are afflicted and have the reg number GO11TTY, putting a black plate securing pin at he bottom of the 11 to make it look like a U.
Getting serious for a second, hope the gout resolves and you are feeling better soon mate.