A Run Report

SkyGod

What Tyre pressure you running
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Peak District
I had planned on taking the 450 out this morning and stretching its legs for a few hours but the weather wasn`t that conducive to this.
As I am off shortly to do some "grown up" work I didn`t want to risk breaking a nail or getting any split ends from my helmet.

After googling the opening times to Spearmint Rhino in Sheffield I decided to burn a few calories ( which I fully intend to put back on throughout the day) by going for a run.

I had spent the evening entertaining a young filly so first job was to get rid of her!

She took it well but decided to take my Red PVC running suit as a keep sake.

<a href="http://s1195.beta.photobucket.com/user/munnyman44/media/images-1.jpeg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1195.photobucket.com/albums/aa390/munnyman44/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=" photo images-1.jpeg"/></a>
 
The snow was falling and as it was quite early it appeared I had the whole of the Monsal trail to myself,,,,,,,,or so I thought??????

After a mile or so I approached the bench I smash a few hundred ( 20 ) tricep dips on to find something written in the snow.
No one was around and I could see for a good quarter of a mile in every direction. It must have only just happened as the snow was falling and anything more than a few minutes would have seen it covered up again.

Strange I hear you ask????? That`s where the weirdness just started!

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A poignant message I hear you say, it certainly got me thinking about things as I entered Headstone tunnel in a small respite from the falling snow.

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I used the lights in the tunnel as markers for my Fartlek training for a couple of hours (15 minutes). as I changed my speed from a steady 20mph to bursts in excess of 40mph I tried to work out who had written the thought provoking words on the bench.

On exiting the tunnel my solitude was broken by a lady runner doing her shoelaces up. As I sped past she undressed me with her eyes and letched at me with no restraint or shame:eek:
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This made me feel quite uncomfortable as I get tired of women treating me just as a piece of meat. Come on girls, I`ve got a mind too!!!
 
The view over the viaduct is as lovely as ever.
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After another 12 miles (4) I found myself at another bench and felt compelled to try and scribe something as thought provoking for the next traveller as I had seen earlier on.

I racked my brains for something deep and meaningful that may provide inspiration to a lost soul than may find themselves on the trail that day.

In the end I came up with this:
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You bin partaking of those mind altering substances again :rob
 
The trail was yet again deserted so I made my escape.
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Slowing my pace now to a steady 5 minute mile I commenced my cool down phase.
 
As I started on the final leg home I passed yet again another bench.
What was written on this made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.:eek:

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My Mind was now in a turmoil! Who was writing these profound yet creepy messages less that a mile from the place I lay my head at night.

I couldn't help but look over my shoulder and not for the first time that day I shuddered.

It was time to head home and take stock of the mornings events!
 
A few hundred yards from home my route takes me over a small footbridge that spans a fast moving weir.

At this stage I was frantic:eek: My mind was a roller coaster off emotion.

Looking at the freezing cold water I had a burning desire to jump in and take my own life. The thought of the watery abyss engulfing my soul and taking me to a place where the questions of the "bench scribe" would no longer burn into me like a red hot poker violating me in my holiest of holes!

As I mounted the safety rail about to make my final step I hesitated,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"What am I doing I thought"???


It was at that point I realised what an awesome life I had (compared to a lot of the losers on this forum).

And it just wan`t fair to all the young fillys that had yet to experience "Gaz Love".

I climbed down off the rail and made my way home.
 
Watch out for people lurking in your underground bike cave too. I once came home to find a dodgy soul mastubating over my SPS :(

I assume no dodgy characters hanging around your 2 wheel posse underground :
 
In these final steps home I was gobsmacked that I had even contemplated jumping!

Just before my front door I glanced over and took a look at my Porsche 911 C4S and realised that no matter how harsh the emotional beating I had taken in the last hour there where people out there in the world without such a motor.

How the poor people cope I just don`t know.:(

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After a hot shower and ten minutes "relaxing in the style of a gentleman" I had calmed down and all was at peace in the world again.

Over a hot brew I had chance to reflect on the day so far. I came up with the following thought.

"I would like to offer my condolences to all the folk out there who don`t have a cock like a blind cobblers thumb and don`t have enough cash to choke a donkey". It can`t be easy for you.

I can only thank god that I`m not you!

Have a nice day losers :thumb
 
A poignant message I hear you say, it certainly got me thinking about things as I entered Headstone tunnel in a small respite from the falling snow.

<a href="http://s1195.beta.photobucket.com/user/munnyman44/media/IMG_1875.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1195.photobucket.com/albums/aa390/munnyman44/IMG_1875.jpg" border="0" alt=" photo IMG_1875.jpg"/></a>

Amusing post - brightened up an otherwise dreary day!

Walked this trail on a YHA holiday in my mid-teens in the early 1970's (Aug 1973, from memory) - in those days the tunnels were unlit and unpaved; my recollection is that the rail bed (sleepers and ballast) was still in place, making it an interesting walk in total darkness! Only wish I could find some pictures from that holiday for a then and now...

When I was in the area for a holiday in 2000 the tunnel entrances were blocked off :blast; I was pleasantly surprised in 2009 to find that the trail (including the tunnels) had since been re-opened :clap
 


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