Oh for fukks sakes...just scrolled up and down and up and down the page thinking "I'm sure I've seen these 'new' photos before!" 
Alps Greatest Hits Tour......
- Thread starter Arsey
- Start date
Oh for fukks sakes...just scrolled up and down and up and down the page thinking "I'm sure I've seen these 'new' photos before!"
He’s only been here 7 years, so will get the hang of it soon.
Ev is still out there. He got sun stroke today
Yes, sorry folks, but as Arsey has mentioned, I have indeed suffered a "sun stroke" first thing on Monday morning. "Great" weather has finally arrived and without further a doo, I was on my way…. TBC.
As Arsey implied, I am shit at route planning, well I have planned it well, just with a GREAT CHUNK OF OPTIMISM AND ENTHUSIASM. Trying to do 250-300 miles in a day on the mountain roads and in a countries (Suisse, France, Österreich, Belgique) largely restricted to a 50mph speed limits, endless bladder emptying and consequently refilling it with a fresh hot brew, odd swing of that clear stuff, merely just a few moments later, astonishing views round the next bend, for miles to come, that are irresistible not to stop, have a look and take a pic or two. Consequently, what seem like a few moments later , one does straddle the mighty 1290, helmet on, gloves on, hit the "Race On" button, the display comes on and a moment or two later so does the NAV IV (yes BMW NAV on KATOOM
). "SHIT!!!, that's another 20 minutes added to my journey, I am sure I was only 3-5 minutes tops, fuck, fuck, fuckiedie fuck…….." and so it carries on, until you finally arrive to the hotel in the dark, that you've booked weeks ago and changing the location of your stay halfway through the day means loosing Wonga. It is indeed a hard ask to arrive to a hotel by 5pm, having started the journey at around 9am in the morning So having had a couple of days to blast around south of France with our own Arsey lad, taught me something for the next trip. 150-180 miles a day is a realistic journey if you want a relaxing and stress free trip. 200-250 miles at a push if you are in the northern France, ploughing through the endless expanses of farming land. However plan a ride through Ardennes or similar and you are suddenly averaging 25-30mph throughout the day.
Anyway, let us rewind to where we left things on Saturday morning.
Woke up in Switzerland at the crap hole of a hotel in the middle of a skiing resort with hardly a soul in sight. Hotel was cheap and it showed. Having had the the dinner a night before, my worst yet and indeed tasteless pizza, a bunch of green stuff with grated carrot on top (fucking carrot in a salad? dafuq is that all about?
)and topped off with overly strong salad cream (contents of which was 90% vinegar
), and a pint 
of Swiss beer.A said hotel has a restaurant, but it isn't fully operational outside of winter season or so it seem. As only meal options I had been offered, were pasta with salad or pizza with salad and a basked of cut up baguette, which had now turned into a giant croutons. All of which cost an astonishing 31CHF (approximately £30
)While forcing myself to eat tasteless or in some cases an assault on ones tastebuds meal, I couldn't help but to notice that the guy running this appalling gaff is setting up a breakfast buffet at 8:45pm the night before. Leaving a bowl of cornflakes totally uncovered amongst other things
food standards gone out the fucking window in this tip of a place. He said to me you can fry your own eggs in the morning
, while showing me a semi squashed plastic bottle filled with oil and a scratched to fuck aluminium frying pan, that once upon a time was covered in teflon coating. I sat there thinking isn't it your job to do that for me, as I am the paying customer and breakfast is included in the price?Came down for breakfast, naturally everything was just like I've seen it the night before, fuckall has changed other that a plate of cheese and another plate of cured meat has miraculously appeared. God only knows when it has happened. as there was not a soul in sight to greet me. I certainly was concerned.
There was a chopping board and a knife to cut up your own bread, unfortunately there was no bread in sight either
.I attempted to fry my own eggs, as was "suggested" to me the night before by first trying to find where the fuck to plug the electric hob into, and not a soul in sight was to assist me with my search. Eventually I found an extension lead. Plugged the thing in and juts moments later, as the heat started to build up, the extension lead wasn't rated high enough for the ancient hob and consequently it blew a fuse
. Fuck this I tough and I took to some bagged up sliced bread to toast and what I deemed be safe to eat, having previously shuffled an entire stack of plates, in hope to find just the one that did not have breakfast still stuck to it from the day before.There was no coffee or tea to be seen, so I opted for a glass of orange juice from a carton and a glass of sparkling water. Eventually the fat old fart that appeared to be a "chef?" (he looked like a fucking giant pear turned upside down) graced me and the other couple with his presents. He shouted across from the bar if anybody wanted a coffee. "Yes!" all three of us replied.
……………………………...
Having chomped on my stale pan au chocolate, amongst other bits of "safe" food, I swiftly bugger off to my room to pack up. Moments later I was downstairs to check out and yet again not a fucker in sight, poked my head in the restaurant, nobody. Fuck it, I left the key on the reception desk, strapped US30 to the bike, lid on, gloves on, "race on" let’s go.
A few bends later on my way down to the valley, I was greeted with what seemed to be a "shite" weather for the day and a view I just had to stop for and take a snap.
………………………………..
Having now descended 1600m down in the valley bellow, after I followed (with a shock in my eyes) a suicidal cyclist (with biggest pair of plums I've known to see
) doing in excess of 65 kph all the way downhill while still assisting his speed with carrying on peddling, he barely slowed down round tight hairpins 
. He seemed a local fruit plantation worker, as he turned in to the the plantation at the bottom of the hill, not you average grandpa on a road racing bike clad in lycra whilst showing of his fine muscular legs he's built up over the years ascending the enormous distances up to the top of some famous Col's. Having witnessed that, a monotonous journey on route 9 heading east has began 
. Full of commuters and motor homes, farm equipment (Wine Grape Harvesting),with Radio 2 in my ears, I was fast falling behind schedule . It was a horrible experience with 50mph speed limit through out the country, a lack of overtaking places and endless towns/villages just a few kilometres apart. I felt like I was gone old, died, then was born again and now back where I was the life before. Where are those James Bond optional extras on the list to speck the bike with?Having left route 9 , I Eventually pulled up at the Bistro Cafe carpark (the Giant Rabbit Place), having just come round the bend and seeing a pedestrian suspension bridge crossing the river Rotten (yes that is correct spelling) in a village called Bellwald on Route 19.
I had a quick coffee and a "Shite Veggie" burger. It wasn't the best one I had, but it kept the hungry worm happy for a while. I then took my GoPro and a wondered over to the said bridge for a quick up-close look and pic or two, well try doubling that then multiplying on your fingers and toes and you will soon realise you've got none left to carry on counting on
. Yet again "Fuck, FUCK!!!!! Fuckiedie fuck………"An Hour Later, or what seemed like 15 minutes. I was back on the road heading for the world famous furking Furka Pass
. I knew there was some fun ahead of me to be had so proceeded with following endless train of German and Dutch Tourist in their luxury convertible motors and motorhomes. Stopping occasionally at the rail crossings to let the Glacier Express through. The train was (or what seemed like) full of Chinese tourists pointing their phones out the windows and having selfie stick "jousting" sessions in the isles. It was an interesting sight to observe, as the train kept crawling round the bends in front of line of traffic.Eventually the road has opened up and I was within a touching distance of a famous trio of mountain passes. The Nuffenen, Grimsel (both had been done last year) and a Furka. Ahead of me to my left I can just make out a glacier in between other mountain peeks and to my right a wast green field, flat as a pancake and a gravel track running through it for a good mile. The sun was shining and I though I am going down there for that perfect shot. Off I went, stopping for a photo or two, I then looked up ahead and realised that the said gravel track was going to take me back out to the main drag. I have set up a go pro on the side of the top box, set ride and damping modes into off road and set of taking the Mighty 1290 for a spin on a surface it was meant to be ridden on. Just a few moments later, I have arrived at the end of the track and a tight rope across it, "I ain't turning back to waste even more time" I though and proceeded to taking rope down. Phew, I was through, having replaced the rope as it was found behind me. Yet again, the good old "Fuck, FUCK!!!!! Fuckiedie fuck………"
Before I knew it I was at the town of Gletsch. Head left and you will start climb up north to the top of Grimsell Pass (been there, done it….. it is a wrong direction on this occasion anyway) or stay on the road and you head east to the top of Furka pass.
As it was around Lunch time and every Cafe/Restaurant along the way was full of cyclist, bikers and other tourists alike. So It was my chance to enjoy a what normally a very busy road and a mountain pass with just a few cars or cyclist I was able to pick off one by one with ease. Half way up at the famous hair pin at Belvedere, I've pulled in to the car park for a snap or two (putting me further back in my scheduled arrival time). I attempted to do a selfie, which I just couldn't get right. So I see a pair of old hippies (in full Harley kind of Leather if you like) wondering about and smoking some fancy pipes. I asked them in my now very forgotten and rusty German (assuming they spoke it too) if they would mind taking a picture of me with the bike and a Furka/Grimsell passes in the background. One spoke no german only Italian and French and when I handed over to him my iPhone, he rolled his eyes, as he just couldn't put the thing to use. it was a complete novelty for him to hold on to a three year old iPhone that you could take pictures with and there were no buttons to press?! His mate had to step in (who spoke German, French and a little English) and there is me trying to explain what to do with the thing to the pair
. Eventually after a what seem like an age we managed to get a picture or two. Yet again "Fuck, FUCK!!!!! Fuckiedie fuck………"
………………………………..
I proceeded to my climb towards the top of the pass where I stopped a couple more times for a few more pics.
……………………………….
Now seriously in danger of arriving after 7:30pm to my digs for the night in Merano, Italy ("Fuck, FUCK!!!!! Fuckiedie fuck………"), I swiftly left Furka behind me having had only a few moments to enjoy it in the shite weather that Arsey and I had so far.
I knew I still had some ground to cover, with a stop for a leak and a drink, maybe something to eat. I proceeded on to the next pass in line on my route, It was be an Oberalppass Via Realp and Andermat.
But then a quick stop for a leak, resulted in more of this.
By now I have arrived at Oberalppass, roads were much more quieter and as a result I though it was a bit of a Peach.
……………………………
I stopped for a quick bite on a Peach I have taken with me from the hotel and a 1 of 5 nut & yogurt cereal bars my wife kindly showed in my top box on the morning of departure. I then wondered over to the small trailer on the edge of the carpark and chatted to the lady selling local goat cheese, some "Tasty" pies I couldn't have, some local mustards and various organic cordials made from herbs and berries sourced from a local mountain sides. Having discovered that the cheese she was offering me to taste wasn't "tasteless" Veggie shite, I ended up buying jar of Black & Red Currant Mustard for my wife instead. She loves a good mustard, so I thought it be up her street. No pun intended.
………………………………
Next I was heading for the Town of Flims Waldhous, I was meant to stop here for a lunch but since I now was nearly 3 hours behind schedule, I decided to refuel and press on towards Chur, taking a turn towards town of Thusis and onto Davos. Upon Leaving Thusis I crossed over Motorway 13 and entered a tunnel, as the sun was now behind me I was unable to read a billboard indicating traffic in the tunnel and by then it was too late to turn around. I spent next 20 minuted inside the tube where slow crawling vehicles were churning out some funky fumes, by the end I had a headache and my throat was dry as…. After emerging from the chamber of death, I took risk of crossing solid white line past what I though a police car, but turned out to be Swiss Border patrol vehicle. The line of traffic was. well how long is the string……?
I soon was joined by other bikers doing same thing, so in a group I felt like I was less offending to the law. Riding through Davos, a hungry worm was starting to make noises, unfortunately I just wasn't able to see anything from the side of the road as I was riding and I wasn't going to stop now to go wondering the streets in search of food. I made a swift decision to head towards Umbrail Pass, without realising that I had yet to takle a Fluela Pass just a few kilometre up the road.
I left Davos behind me and sun now behind a mountain on my right. As I was starting to make my initial climb towards Fluela, I got frightened by this sudden tremendous noise fast approaching behind me, I looked in the mirrors and couldn't see anything, as I was doing so, an almighty downwash surrounded me for a split second. An emergency helicopter flew right over me and what seemed like inches above my head. It carried straight on and in very short distance it made a steep climb and done a sort of loop the loop before descending into the valley below whilst hovering sideways.
I though, "ohhhh! what happened?" I rushed to the top, where in the car park, I can see a number of people either looking down into the valley through binoculars, there DSLR's or some attempting to zoom in on the action bellow on their phones. Naturally being a curious kind of person, I pulled in and took my old Panasonic superzoom camera out the tank bag. I can see a commotion going on down bellow, while helicopter now moved and landed on the side of the farm a few hundred meters away.
Back to the commotion. It appears that a cow and a calf have got them self in a dangerous terrain and as a result the cow has suffered some form of an injury to her right front leg. She couldn't stand on it. The terrain was kind of boggy, rocky and next to the stream. Without any faffing, the vet (who now was on site and I assume called out the helicopter), the cattle farmers and a helicopter crew member proceeded to strapping a harness around the cows main body some 4-5 minutes later, the helicopter came in with great precision directly over the cow, a winch rope has now been deployed and helicopter hovering some 40-50 m above, the crew have attached the winch to the harness. I sure have now seen it all now, including a "Flying Cow". Moments later what I can only assume, the cow was landed directly into the awaiting trailer behind a stone barn. I could't see the "trailer" nor what happened to the cow, but I could see a 4x4 just poking it nose from behind the barn. Shortly the helicopter was back to drop the winch line, and to pick up a farmer, his calf and a crew member, who have been flown to the barn. All of this has taken just 12 minutes. That is exactly how long I fell behind on my scheduled arrival to the digs for the nigh. "Fuck, FUCK!!!!! Fuckiedie fuck………"
I took a video and an odd picture sadly no actual picture of a flying cow, but it is on video, you’ll have to take my word for it.
On I go, Without realising, I rode straight over the Fluela Pass without stopping and descending into the valley bellow on the other side.
I turn right at the junction, and head some 6 km to the next turn in the town of Zernes. I stop and take this Picture for our own Bear. I though he might appreciate the small gesture.
………………………………………..
As I leave Zernes, the road is quiet and not a soul in sight, It is short approaching 6;30pm local time and I start to climb towards a mountain in the distance that is lit up with that magical "golden hour" light. I can't resist but to stop yet again to take a quick few snaps.
………………………………………..
Moments later, bike brought back to life and on I go again.less than 10 minutes later I arrive at the top of a Pass dal Fuorn. It is fucking cold now, as temperature dropped to mere 8ºc and I am at 2146m above sea level.
I stop here, take a few snaps, have another cereal bar and a drink of that clear stuff, the hungry worm is now trying to take on contortion as a bit of an exercise. I resort to digging out my TOG24 duck down jacket, that I brought with me as a casual jacket as well as ideal thermal liner form my Rukka Jacket. I take a quick leak, again (cold tend to make me pee more than ever, even though I drank less today than a day before) Great, I feel better now. Heated seat and grips on, down the pass I go.
The terrain and colour of the rock is starting to change now.
……………………………………………
My arrival time seem to have crept back a little, I must've gained time somewhere.
I shortly arrive at the village of Santa Maria Val Muster and take a sharp right tun through a narrow passage, which soon taking me to the top of umbral pass. It is a steep and narrow pass, I was preying nothing was going to jump out from the behind one of the bends or hairpins. I passed a hotel overlooking a village and valley bellow. Thinking this be great to stay at tonight, but I already have booked and paid for accommodation in Merano. Off I go with the said hotel now in a very distant past. Soon in the dusk I arrive at the top of Umbral Pass, I dismount and take a quick picture in front of the flags at the border.
………………………………………………..
It is a great road, especially when empty. On the way up, I was met heading down a lone cyclist and a farmer in his beat up Peugeot van. It was a great run up. It feels even colder up here despite my onboard thermometer suggesting it is still 8ºc. I am thinking now to myself, "I'd love to ride Stelvio Pass", but it is to darn late and I still have 80km to ride to Merano and my sat nav suggesting it'll take 1hour and 40 minutes to get there. Meaning I'll be at the hotel after 9pm. "I can make that before 9pm" I mumbled to myself.
Back on the bike, I power it up and cancel out all of the waypoints on a satnav, right up to my final destination. I pressed on south east, at the fork, I take a road left as instructed on the screen. I climb further up without any though what is up there other than thinking it must be the summit of the Umbral pass.
I yet again stop at the side of the road to have a picture of a very friendly heard of cows with the little ones beside them.
……………….
Ok up I go again. A the top I arrive at what seem to be a building site and a few pissed up characters wondering about watching the sun go down, I assume. I park up the bike as the view to the east is simply magical and not to shoot it be a crime. Fuck it if I am late and there is no dinner left at the hotel so be it. I take my chances and shoot a few pics. The light is amazing and pictures will never tell the story fully but sure to remind me what it was like a few years later.
It is now 7;30pm the sun is fast going down and my onboard thermometer showing 5ºc. It is cold, but my warm powerparts options keeping the chill at bay. I take a look over the edge at the valley bellow, it is darn dark, poke your eyes dark! "This'll be interesting" I though. I get back on the bike, Let a Polish registered small Truck come up the road and start heading down. Nearer the bottom in the dark woodland part of the road I get greeted by a lone Harley rider and a T4 Transporter camper van, both heading up the pass. My fog lights are on and so is high beam. That LED headlamp is fantastic and cornering light go to stage 3 at every hairpin, making me feel like the bike literally looking around each and every corner before I do. It is great. After god nows how many tight and bumpy hairpins, I soon descend into a village and realise I am in Italy, as I greeted by a speed camera with a flashing amber beacon on top. "I am on a home straight" I thought. Looked at the sat nav, I have gained 4 minuted by coming down the pass. "Excellent" I can definitely make it to the Hotel before 9Pm and satnav suggesting, I'll be there at 09;07pm.
I soon enter a small town called Pratto Allo Stelvio. It is pitch black and only lighting I have is from the street lights, few locals bimbling about in their beat up Fiat Panda’s and Piaggio Ape's and of cause the front end of my bike. I am thinking to myself. "The town name suggests Stelvio must not far from here? I kept thinking “If only I took the motorway this morning, I would've avoided allot of the traffic and probably had the time to do the planned route in full." Still I refuse to pay tolls so no motorways in Switzerland for me unless these are classed as dual carriageways. "Well there is always another year" I though to myself.
As I exit the town, I get overtaken by a black BMW that was doing well over a 100 km/ph before the official speed limit change. I follow him and we both take right at the roundabout, I accelerate and follow at his speed, until he catches up with traffic ahead. In and amongst the traffic I see three bikes on French plates, I overtake initial set off cars and trucks and blend in behind the bikes. they acknowledge me with a horizontal "V" and one with sticking his leg out. I give a quick flash of high beam, to let them know I have noted their acknowledgement. Soon another opportunity arises to overtake remaining line of trucks, and cars. I see no intension of doing so from my French friends and accelerate away leaving them behind.
I soon again catch up with a car and in front of it is a local farmer in his tractor pulling a trailer full of grapes. You can smell the sweetness of the grape in the air. It was intoxicating as the temperature now come back up to 19ºc. I was starting to get quite warm. But wasn’t going to stop to take my duck down jacket off. So the seat and grips got switched into hibernation mode for now. I am gaining time minute by minute.
Eventually, all three of us get overtaken a Polish registered Fiat Punto. This guy took a huge risk overtaking on a blind corner to the right
. I have witnessed similar event some 10 years ago in Wales that ended up not good. My panicked voice call to the emergency operator must still be out there in the archives. I just thought to myself, "Polish drivers remind me of Russian drivers, taking far too many unnecessary risks".Lucky this time it all ended up without a tragedy. Once the road opened up and I could see no oncoming traffic, the driver in front of me indicated that I can pass him, so I did and stuck my foot out to thank him.
I followed the said Fiat for the next 35-40 minutes until it turned off. The road approaching Merano, was getting busier and busier. I ended up missing a turning by concentrating on a traffic ahead. Lucky the next turning just up the road took me back on a correct path, while gaining 2 minutes in time. "Result!" I thought.
Before long I leave the SS38 and take my exit. A few Moments later I found myself traveling in what appears to be a tight network of residential streets. "There is no way A hotel is around here" I thought. Still I had faith in the NAV and proceeded with following its instructions. I make a turn right and follow a street. It is deserted with nobody around. Then Lit up like a North Pole Star is my hotel. I arrive and pull up in at the front. I get greeted by a gentleman who does recognise me from my enquiry on Booking.com and proceeded guiding me to a prepared motorcycle parking space under the carport. I park up. we shake hands and he says that he will see me inside in a few moments. I take a note of the time, it is 08:56pm. I've made it. Result!
I take the necessary stuff and go to check my self in. I am greeted by a lady at the reception, she is full of life and and I believe she's a keen cyclist or a runner as there are allot of racing numbers tastefully placed around the place with one female name on them all. She seem of a sporty type. It is her and a gentleman who greeter me earlier that run the place as a husband and wife. We have a chat about where I’ve been, where I’ve come from and so on. I apologise for being nearly 3 hours late, to which she replied, the reception is open for another hour so it isn't a problem. I asked her about the dinner, she said there is no dinner available at the hotel as such, only evening drinks, but just a 5 minute walk up the road would take me to a neighbouring guest house that will serve a pizza until 10:00pm. The restaurant service however does stop at 09:00pm, she said. She hands me the keys and leads me up to my room ,on the way up she lets me know that there is a swimming pool in the basement which is open every morning from 07:00am and access is included in my room rate. As she took me to my room, I thank her for the warm welcome. The room was nice and modern with a double bed and usual bathroom/toilet, desk, wardrobe arrangement and a private balcony that has a bistro set, where if staying longer than one night probably handy to chill out in the morning sun with a fine cup of coffee.
I took a quick shower, changed my clothes, and headed out to the said restaurant. It really was less than 5 minute walk for me the 3L
, probably 6 minutes for our own home grown tossers of this parish
.This place is popular with locals
, as there was a queue of 4 people waiting to collect their takeaway pizzas. I get seated outside under a giant up-lit horse chestnut, with loads of people still enjoying great time having some food a lough and a drink. The place had a street party feeling you get and see in the Med themed movies. It was great! Instantly reminded me why my wife and I love coming to Italy.I ordered a large beer and proceeded to catch up with Arsey in private messaging. Naturally, as one does, I do get "mildly insulted" with the choice of pizza I ordered. Which in no time at all has arrived. served with some plain olive or chilli oil on the side. It was HUGE! Must've been 16"-18". It was also the best pizza I have ever had in Italy. The crust, it was crusty but melted in your mouth. Equally the dough wasn't your usual pizza express bounce of the walls rubber, it was just lovely. I ate half the pizza and I was feeling stuffed. I proceeded to having a chat with my wife over the phone and eventually finished of the monster of the pizza. it was simply to good to leave unfinished. That beer I had, must've been quite strong, as I felt pissed up on one pint
, but it was well deserved.The menu for the pizza had a good choice of “Veggie Shite”
The pictures of the Hotel and the Guest House/Restaurant-Pizzeria I took next morning.
I took a slow stroll back to the hotel, at which point I stopped and looked into the distance of shimmering lights while listening to crickets make that summery noise and just stopping for a moment to relax and do nothing in particular. A tough day indeed, but what a hoot!
Back at the hotel, I sent a couple of pictures to my wife, one of the cow and one of the snow capped mountain which I thought was the top of “Umbrail Pass”. Flicking trough the rest of pictures, I noticed a headline above the pic -Umbrail & Stelvio- after all the dark valley bellow was the Stelvio pass which I rode without even realising.
Even in the near darkness, the place was Magical and having it nearly all of it to myself was an added bonus too.TBC…...
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Bloody hell, you’ve got more waffle than birds eye!
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Camel Toe
Registered user
Kin el.......I’ve just missed three days at work reading that......... all good stuff tho....fuck fuckedy fuck..
War and Peace ! Nearly missed breakfast !
Fukkity fukk, did I enjoy that.! Great read and great pics. Thanks.
Fukkity fukk, did I enjoy that.! Great read and great pics. Thanks.
Ev has 4 more days to post about.
That’s the weekend gone then!
Ev has 4 more days to post about.
That’s the weekend gone then!
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Is Pizza the only vegetarian meal that the Europeans can manage??
Well, it seem that way. In Italy they know what being a veggie means. Germany they seem to have the hang of it too. I think Niederlands is quite clued up, but the rest of them seem to think being vegetarisn means raw salad leaf and boiled vegetables
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No more war and piece 
Sunday Morning.
Hotel Anabelle in Merano was great, with lovely views first thing in the morning. Getting up and walking out on the balcony for some fresh air was a nice touch. Unfortunately due to long day in the saddle, I woke up in time for breakfast and would have normally taken to the swimming pool, but I fancied a lay in.
Merano is in South Tirol of northern Italy. If using as a hub, you’ve got a plethora of rides and mountain passes accessible to you within a matter of an hour or so.
It has nice town centre and other things to do if you fancy a day out the saddle. German is widely spoken as it is so close to Austria and Switzerland.
Now back to the topic.
Shower, dress up, now down for some breakfast.
Lovely orangery to sit in for some breakfast. Fresh coffee on demand great choice of food to go for too.
I forgot to take pictures of breakfast for Nutty, but he’ll have to take my word for it.
A short while after leaving the hotel, I’ve stopped at this local vineyard and an orchard. Grabbed a bottle of local red to take home and 3 apples for the road.
Got overtaken by a bunch of Germans on various BMW’s whilst leaving vineyard. I soon follow them, then the lot of us get stuck in Rush hour traffic. I zoom out on my sat nav and see just the “ticket” of a side road that would take me nearly to the front of the line :Green gri
. Feeling rather smug and cleaver, I soon disappear into a narrow alley. Zee Germans haven’t even noticed. 
Next stop on my agenda is Timmelsjoch Pass. Road leading up is mental busy in the morning, full of locals, trucks, coaches, bloody foreigners and the likes. I finally peel off to the right and soon start my climb. Traffic has calmed a bit but those bikers were fucking mental. I stop for fuel and shortly after in a lay-by next to some cafe which was closed. A line of traffic building up besides the cafe due to roadworks and alternating traffic lights. I take few pics of what I’ve got coming up and chomp on my local apple.
It’s still relatively early at around 9:30am and as I climbed initial ascent, it is feeling notably cooler. I am glad to have kept my TOG24 jacket on.
I get back to my bike having now spent 15-20 looking out into The Valley and a mountains in front of me. It is gorgeous out here.
Just as I am to put away my phone and faff with usual helmet, gloves lark, three street fighters pull up just one bay away from me. A couple of Triumph RS’ and and a Suzuki of some description. German plates. Having previously lived in Germany, I recognise the plates. One from Aachen, one from Dortmund and the other from Frankfurt. Some soft luggage strapped on the back.must be a long weekend get away before mountain passes get clogged up in winter snow. Dark visors, full leathers. I am thinking to my self “a bit small these Germans” especially one of the RS riders. I carry on faffing with my gloves..... and take no further notice of what is going on just some 6-7m away from me.
I finished faffing and mount the mighty 1290. I do a quick check to the left for anybody entering the lay-by and just a curtesy check to the right as I about to depart towards the front of the line of traffic at the lights. I’ve stalled it as I take cartoonish double look! WHOA! 
I though. :bounce :bounce Tingle, tingle, cartoon hearts spinning in my eyes and I see fuck-all else for what seem a century. One of the RS riders (the tiny one) is an oriental girl, not much to look at, face is resemblance of a front end on a tractor (harsh but true), but the other two, oh my goodness! 
It is one way to find out if you swinging for the other team or not. The pair were fit as a fiddle. Leathers come down halfway to the waist and thermal base layers go on. I drooled for what seemed like an hour, but I pretended I had issue with the bike starting just to have a better glance. Hadn’t I’ve been married...... but I’m not that kind of person. Look all I want, but no touchy.
I start my katoom and bugger off in cool sweat. Nothing like a bit of an eye candy first thing in the morning to get you going for the day.
I leave traffic lights with a bunch of GS’s and other tat like a swarm of wound up wasps. I let the fuckers battle it off for possition as I gently drop back the order. Last thing I need a competitive t**t to go under my wheels. I stop on a few occasions for some more pics. If only I had a month to spare I’d sit on the edge of the sheered rock and daydream.
A view down back the lay-by with the cafe and a line of traffic:
Surrounding views:
I notice a couple of funky pods up the hill and dart my way up to the said location.
Up there I take a moment to calm down from earlier ogling and get back to my inner peace by building one of those balancing stone “towers”. Some time later, after countless failures I succeed:
A few more pics from the pods and away I go again:
I arrive at the top and enter the tunnel, I take a note of the sign stating opening hours (07:00-20:00) and mahoosive steel gates at each end of the tunnel. As I ride through, it is damp, funky smell and I get a drop from the “ceiling” past my partially open visor straight in my eye. Great I think. I hope it’s not a bat shit or something. I pull up in the lay-by a couple of hundred meters aged. Sort my soggy eye out and thankfully it was just a large drop of water.
I carry on thinking it has flattened up here, where is the official Timmelsjoch Pass sign? Up ahead I see a sign stating the territory of Austria and just around the corner a large group of people, cars, vans, bikes, you name it.....
I find a quiet spot and park up. Take a short hike to the top of a hill and take a few snaps. “This must be it” I’m thinking. “Where is the sign? Ahh there it is” and take a stroll for a snap.
I move on yet again. A little distance later, I come to a what seem like a cafe with a viewing platform. And I see, it was a cafe, but not a viewing platform. It’s a bloody toll booth and €14 later I was through to the other side. This place is a cafe and a motorcycle museum. I did not have time to visit the museum but, I did poke my nose in for a quick glacce inside the cafe and a coffee.
Far to many Harleys and local hell’s angels for my liking. So I chug my coffee and do one.
I soon catch up with a group of Austrian and German GS’s, each and every one carrying a pillion, full luggage, and every farkle one can imagine is plastered on the bikes
I follow them, not really hanging about nor pushing the boat out like a bat out of hell, I settle down for a “keeping up” follow.
We join a main road and shortly roll into town. Speed limit is 60 km/ph, I keep looking around and enjoying the surroundings, completely oblivious as to what is ahead. As before I follow the herd of GS’s and gladly so. Towards the end of a village I suddenly notice a police vehicle and a pair of coppers. One standing with his arm behind his back and the other one is “shooting” from a tripod mounted speed gun. Panic sets in, emergency breaking and speed check, suddenly I am doing ~45km/ph. Pay attention me thinks.
Soon the gang let me by and I overtake them. Austria has a slightly higher speed limits compared to those in France and Switzerland. I am having fun, then lunch time soon approaching and the contorted worm soon making the usual funny noises. I see a weird looking cafe and a pizzeria. I make a turn and walk in. It’s a go carting track with 50s-60s Americana themed cafe. Sit down and look at the menu. At this point I am having a laugh about the said menu with Arsey on a private messaging app. The waitress comes over and wants to take my order. I ask in my rusty german, what she’s got for grass munching Veggies? A veggie Burger, Erm.......... I though to myself, “I already had one of those in Switzerland”. A brioche bun full of lettuce, gherkins, cheese and tomato ketchup for €6, “I’ll pass” I said, and gather my belongings. She said “you can try pizza over there” and points at the restaurant on the edge of a car park. “Thanks” I said and though “I’ve had a great pizza last nigh, I doubt this place will out do it” and move on.
I soon come into next town and see relatively packed restaurant with plenty of outdoor seating and sun is shining. “Yep, this will do” I think to myself.
Restaurant zum Kassl
Hauptstraße 70, 6433 Oetz, Austria
+43 5252 6303
https://goo.gl/maps/UPtAWwzmzRwjyKJH9
I park up and take a seat at the shown table. A short while later a bloke comes over to hand me menu and asks if I wanted anything to drink. I order a small coke and ask for some time to flick through the menu. Shit! It all seem to be roasted or some other form of extruded flesh. I soon feel disappointed and deflated. “Not another EU country that couldn’t give a toss about dietary needs” I am thinking. Suddenly a doll like dressed waitress turns up to take my order. I stutter, as I notice a rather puffed cleavage at nearly my eye level. Trust me on this one. I wasn’t looking, it STARED at me and we entered into staring competition, who will out stare the opponent. Fuck it, you win!
I then once again in my rusty German ask about a veggie option. She said that there isn’t anything in a lunch menu, but there is a dish a chef will be happy to prepare that is available in their evening menu. “Splendid” I though. “I take that”
Delicious it was too. A trio of dumplings. 3 cheese, spinach and goats cheese , beetroot and pumpkin. All nicely presented and bloody filling. I rejected an offer of desert on the ground of not having any room for it.
I pay up and move on. Soon I am riding on my own for a number of kilometres and come to a sharpish left hand sweeping bend and can’t help to notice a pair of bridges. I pull up set the bike up for a photo, I take a few pics and have a gander of the surroundings.
After a wooden bridge there are 3 gravel tracks leading into the woods beyond. I think “leave the bike where it is” and tuck my self round the back the bush for a wee. Suddenly, Honk-hoooook! What the....? Some old bugger wants to get across the bridge. “Fuck of!”, as I am trying to do up my fly in a hurry. Honk-hooooonk. Yes you such and such I have seen you and heard the first time. I attempt to move the bike of the bridge but he wouldn’t move, WTF? So I stand my ground and think “all you t**t need to do is let go of the brake and your hunk of junk will roll back down the incline” leading to the bridge, “where I have to manoeuvre the bike manually in reverse”. Eventually after making it clear that I have no Intension of moving back he’s to let me through. For best part of 30 minutes I was (or what seemed like) on my own. Stop for a leak and somebody does announce their presence. Typical!
I move on to a new location and take a picture of a railway viaduct just above.
Soon I am on a move again and starting to worry about my ETA at the hotel.
Right, there is one place I really want to get to and everything else can be avoided on this occasion. I cancel out Innsbruck, and Deutsche Alpenstraße from Garmish Partenkirshen to the Lake Constance.
My satnav suddenly pops up a message suggesting I must have a vignette for Austria or find alternative route. Erm. I am in Austria and have been for the last 4 hours. Why the ..... you asking for it now? I press appropriate "button" and carry on following the directions.
As I about to follow directions given by satnav, I get confused about the sign leading to the directed road. It suggests a motorway??? So I pull up on the side of the road besides an island at the junction. Check out my surroundings and a satnav, all is good, visor down left shoulder check indicate and off I go. I see a copier standing in a distance looking toward me, ok careful I am thinking. Speed limit is 40km/ph and I am well under it. I doo a u-turn at the RA and head back toward the junction I stopped at earlier. The said copier now got in the car and ready to pull out as I pass him. Ok strange, is he going to pull me? I make turn left into the road and watch what copper does. He buggers of in to direction I came from. Phew!
A little while later I arrive at the toll booth. WTF? I look up at the board, Silvrettra-Hochalpenstraße €13.60 please. Oh FFS! Fine I have a place to be at and hand over my card. Barrier comes up and I am on my way yet again. Winding road through the valley, a few little pond like lakes on each side of the road, people fishing, odd cyclist blasts by, then a bus! A few hairpins later I arrive at the dammed lake Silvretta. People mooching about, some walkers packing their kit in the cars. I take a picture, nothing to exiting and move on.
Soon I am making a descent. I stop at some roadworks and wait my turn. Green light and I am moving again. I spot something at pull up on the side of the road.
I am not sure if it was worth €13.60 but that was a rollercoaster ride. :bounce Soon it is all over and I go yet again trough another barrier at the end of the “sightseeing street”
I carry on through a number of villages. It is lovely green and dead quiet here. Soon I about to leave a village and accelerate to a 90km/ph limit, when suddenly I get a flash of headlights from an approaching Suzuki Jimny and a bloke waving his arms about. I quickly back of the throttle in anticipation of stopped vehicle, an accident etc just round the bend. I take it gently, and as I emerge the other side, I see a copier shooting at me with a hand held gun. He thanks me with a form of wade for keeping bellow the limit. As I looked at him and raised my arm, I could swear it was a same copper I’ve encountered earlier at the junction.
I am now back on the main road 190 heading west into the sunset. My ETA slowly slipping behind and the old Fuck.... Fuckiedie... Fuck! Springs to mind. Never mind I’ll still be a good hour earlier than the night before. Soon I see in the distance a destination I am desperate to get too, it is shiny in the evening setting sun and not a cloud is in sight, but it is still a good hour and a bit away. I am still in Austria and I’ve got Liechtenstein to get through and enter Switzerland. Then a good 45 minute ride to get there.
Ok let’s get going now. I approach Bludenz and then Feldkirch, commuter traffic is in my way and I am not sure if filtering in Austria is prohibited. I stick behind and follow the traffic as if I was 8’ wide.
Eventually I get into Switzerland. It’s a golden hour moment again and I can’t resist but to stop and take a snap. “It is there in the distance!” I keep thinking.
Soon I am climbing the hill and negotiating a number of fast sweeping hairpins. I follow a local Opel Vivaro, who’s seem to be local as he’s going for it. Soon he turns off in to the village and I carry on. Next village I turn right and get greeted with a speed camera. Easy does it. I am past it and I gun it. Road is empty and evening mist setting in. Temperature dropping a bit every few minutes. It’s cooler and sun is soon going down. I pull up as I get closer to my must get to destination. It is even closer now but I still got 20 odd minutes to ride before I get there. I know by now that it is to late. But I still push for it.
Soon I arrive and it is indeed to late. The last ascent was at 6:30pm. I’ve missed it. “Bugger” as I watch the last gondola making its ascent.
Mont Säntis. On a day like today, you can see 6 countries from a single viewing platform. France, Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria and Italy.
I munch another apple and enjoy the view, a handful if people wondering about as I stand and enjoy the view.
Soon I am back on the bike and heading for my hotel. Somewhat deflated I pick my self up with a though of giving myself another reason to come back another time as I leave Säntis in my rear view mirror.
I am headed for border town of Konstanz in Germany to my pre-booked hotel. A diversion due to major roadworks add extra 10 minutes to my ETA and I am having to push beyond the speed limit. I’ve had to many long days in the saddle already and fancy a relatively early arrival. My current ETA, is just past 8pm. Soon I find myself riding in the dark. I get nearly wiped out by a speeding car coming my way across the chicaned level crossing. I can see he will be going wide and stick as close to the edge of the road as I can. He looses traction as he goes across the crossing and with almighty tyre screech carries on going. “That was to close to losing it” I though.
Soon I arrive at the Kreuzlingen, a border town that seem to be linked to Konstanz like Siamese twins, with merely a border post that makes them somewhat independent. I obey a 20 km/ph limit as I cross over the border and get watched by Swiss border patrol. I can see my hotel just a couple of hundred meters up ahed. I park up and go to check in. I paid upfront for this one. I then get asked to pay €17 extra. “What for?”
I ask. For zee parking und zee city tax bitte. I said aren’t bikes park free of charge. Ya, normally they are but not at zees hotel, Ya?
“What about dinner tonight, is restaurant still open?” I ask. There is no restaurant in zees hotel other than a breakfast hall. “Ohh great!”
Frustrated I fuck of to my room. It’s all the way up to the top floor.
It is ok and fairly modern hotel, if a bit to clinical and corporate.
I take a shower. And search for a some food source on Google Maps. Two minutes away I find a Burro Burro, a fast food Mexican restaurant. I take a walk and it is a little odd. Two blokes inside cleaning vigorously while bunch of adolescent teenagers larking about and a couple on what seem like a second date are hanging out, while enjoying a few drinks and having their meal. Meanwhile a typical German Techno blaring out the speakers onto the street. It is close to 9pm. Well, I better place my order then. I order a veggie burrito and a large local beer. A few minutes later my burrito get brought by one of the guys. It is massive. And quite tasty too.
Having finished my meal and chatted to my wife, I take a stroll to the Lake Constance on the edge of town. Place is quiet with odd car and busses go by. A few people going on about their business. I attempt to take a few pics, but it is darn dark. I take a walk and a look through town centre and head back to the hotel. I take some stuff from the bike and head upstairs.
Bed time.
TBC
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Sunday Morning.
Hotel Anabelle in Merano was great, with lovely views first thing in the morning. Getting up and walking out on the balcony for some fresh air was a nice touch. Unfortunately due to long day in the saddle, I woke up in time for breakfast and would have normally taken to the swimming pool, but I fancied a lay in.
Merano is in South Tirol of northern Italy. If using as a hub, you’ve got a plethora of rides and mountain passes accessible to you within a matter of an hour or so.
It has nice town centre and other things to do if you fancy a day out the saddle. German is widely spoken as it is so close to Austria and Switzerland.
Now back to the topic.
Shower, dress up, now down for some breakfast.
Lovely orangery to sit in for some breakfast. Fresh coffee on demand great choice of food to go for too.
I forgot to take pictures of breakfast for Nutty, but he’ll have to take my word for it.
A short while after leaving the hotel, I’ve stopped at this local vineyard and an orchard. Grabbed a bottle of local red to take home and 3 apples for the road.
Got overtaken by a bunch of Germans on various BMW’s whilst leaving vineyard. I soon follow them, then the lot of us get stuck in Rush hour traffic. I zoom out on my sat nav and see just the “ticket” of a side road that would take me nearly to the front of the line :Green gri
. Feeling rather smug and cleaver, I soon disappear into a narrow alley. Zee Germans haven’t even noticed. 
Next stop on my agenda is Timmelsjoch Pass. Road leading up is mental busy in the morning, full of locals, trucks, coaches, bloody foreigners and the likes. I finally peel off to the right and soon start my climb. Traffic has calmed a bit but those bikers were fucking mental. I stop for fuel and shortly after in a lay-by next to some cafe which was closed. A line of traffic building up besides the cafe due to roadworks and alternating traffic lights. I take few pics of what I’ve got coming up and chomp on my local apple.
It’s still relatively early at around 9:30am and as I climbed initial ascent, it is feeling notably cooler. I am glad to have kept my TOG24 jacket on.
I get back to my bike having now spent 15-20 looking out into The Valley and a mountains in front of me. It is gorgeous out here.
Just as I am to put away my phone and faff with usual helmet, gloves lark, three street fighters pull up just one bay away from me. A couple of Triumph RS’ and and a Suzuki of some description. German plates. Having previously lived in Germany, I recognise the plates. One from Aachen, one from Dortmund and the other from Frankfurt. Some soft luggage strapped on the back.must be a long weekend get away before mountain passes get clogged up in winter snow. Dark visors, full leathers. I am thinking to my self “a bit small these Germans” especially one of the RS riders. I carry on faffing with my gloves..... and take no further notice of what is going on just some 6-7m away from me.
I finished faffing and mount the mighty 1290. I do a quick check to the left for anybody entering the lay-by and just a curtesy check to the right as I about to depart towards the front of the line of traffic at the lights. I’ve stalled it
as I take cartoonish double look! WHOA! 
I though. :bounce :bounce Tingle, tingle, cartoon hearts spinning in my eyes and I see fuck-all else for what seem a century. One of the RS riders (the tiny one) is an oriental girl, not much to look at, face is resemblance of a front end on a tractor (harsh but true), but the other two, oh my goodness! 
It is one way to find out if you swinging for the other team or not. The pair were fit as a fiddle. Leathers come down halfway to the waist and thermal base layers go on. I drooled for what seemed like an hour, but I pretended I had issue with the bike starting just to have a better glance. Hadn’t I’ve been married...... but I’m not that kind of person. Look all I want, but no touchy. I start my katoom and bugger off in cool sweat. Nothing like a bit of an eye candy first thing in the morning to get you going for the day.
I leave traffic lights with a bunch of GS’s and other tat like a swarm of wound up wasps. I let the fuckers battle it off for possition as I gently drop back the order. Last thing I need a competitive t**t to go under my wheels. I stop on a few occasions for some more pics. If only I had a month to spare I’d sit on the edge of the sheered rock and daydream.
A view down back the lay-by with the cafe and a line of traffic:
Surrounding views:
I notice a couple of funky pods up the hill and dart my way up to the said location.
Up there I take a moment to calm down from earlier ogling and get back to my inner peace by building one of those balancing stone “towers”. Some time later, after countless failures I succeed:
A few more pics from the pods and away I go again:
I arrive at the top and enter the tunnel, I take a note of the sign stating opening hours (07:00-20:00) and mahoosive steel gates at each end of the tunnel. As I ride through, it is damp, funky smell and I get a drop from the “ceiling” past my partially open visor straight in my eye. Great I think. I hope it’s not a bat shit or something. I pull up in the lay-by a couple of hundred meters aged. Sort my soggy eye out and thankfully it was just a large drop of water.
I carry on thinking it has flattened up here, where is the official Timmelsjoch Pass sign? Up ahead I see a sign stating the territory of Austria and just around the corner a large group of people, cars, vans, bikes, you name it.....
I find a quiet spot and park up. Take a short hike to the top of a hill and take a few snaps. “This must be it” I’m thinking. “Where is the sign? Ahh there it is” and take a stroll for a snap.
I move on yet again. A little distance later, I come to a what seem like a cafe with a viewing platform. And I see, it was a cafe, but not a viewing platform. It’s a bloody toll booth and €14 later I was through to the other side. This place is a cafe and a motorcycle museum. I did not have time to visit the museum but, I did poke my nose in for a quick glacce inside the cafe and a coffee.
Far to many Harleys and local hell’s angels for my liking. So I chug my coffee and do one.
I soon catch up with a group of Austrian and German GS’s, each and every one carrying a pillion, full luggage, and every farkle one can imagine is plastered on the bikes
I follow them, not really hanging about nor pushing the boat out like a bat out of hell, I settle down for a “keeping up” follow.
We join a main road and shortly roll into town. Speed limit is 60 km/ph, I keep looking around and enjoying the surroundings, completely oblivious as to what is ahead. As before I follow the herd of GS’s and gladly so. Towards the end of a village I suddenly notice a police vehicle and a pair of coppers. One standing with his arm behind his back and the other one is “shooting” from a tripod mounted speed gun. Panic sets in, emergency breaking and speed check, suddenly I am doing ~45km/ph. Pay attention me thinks.
Soon the gang let me by and I overtake them. Austria has a slightly higher speed limits compared to those in France and Switzerland. I am having fun, then lunch time soon approaching and the contorted worm soon making the usual funny noises. I see a weird looking cafe and a pizzeria. I make a turn and walk in. It’s a go carting track with 50s-60s Americana themed cafe. Sit down and look at the menu. At this point I am having a laugh about the said menu with Arsey on a private messaging app. The waitress comes over and wants to take my order. I ask in my rusty german, what she’s got for grass munching Veggies? A veggie Burger, Erm.......... I though to myself, “I already had one of those in Switzerland”. A brioche bun full of lettuce, gherkins, cheese and tomato ketchup
for €6, “I’ll pass” I said, and gather my belongings. She said “you can try pizza over there” and points at the restaurant on the edge of a car park. “Thanks” I said and though “I’ve had a great pizza last nigh, I doubt this place will out do it” and move on.I soon come into next town and see relatively packed restaurant with plenty of outdoor seating and sun is shining. “Yep, this will do” I think to myself.
Restaurant zum Kassl
Hauptstraße 70, 6433 Oetz, Austria
+43 5252 6303
https://goo.gl/maps/UPtAWwzmzRwjyKJH9
I park up and take a seat at the shown table. A short while later a bloke comes over to hand me menu and asks if I wanted anything to drink. I order a small coke and ask for some time to flick through the menu. Shit! It all seem to be roasted or some other form of extruded flesh. I soon feel disappointed and deflated. “Not another EU country that couldn’t give a toss about dietary needs” I am thinking. Suddenly a doll like dressed waitress turns up to take my order. I stutter, as I notice a rather puffed cleavage at nearly my eye level. Trust me on this one. I wasn’t looking, it STARED at me and we entered into staring competition, who will out stare the opponent. Fuck it, you win!
I then once again in my rusty German ask about a veggie option. She said that there isn’t anything in a lunch menu, but there is a dish a chef will be happy to prepare that is available in their evening menu. “Splendid” I though. “I take that”
Delicious it was too. A trio of dumplings. 3 cheese, spinach and goats cheese , beetroot and pumpkin. All nicely presented and bloody filling. I rejected an offer of desert on the ground of not having any room for it.
I pay up and move on. Soon I am riding on my own for a number of kilometres and come to a sharpish left hand sweeping bend and can’t help to notice a pair of bridges. I pull up set the bike up for a photo, I take a few pics and have a gander of the surroundings.
After a wooden bridge there are 3 gravel tracks leading into the woods beyond. I think “leave the bike where it is” and tuck my self round the back the bush for a wee. Suddenly, Honk-hoooook! What the....? Some old bugger wants to get across the bridge. “Fuck of!”, as I am trying to do up my fly in a hurry. Honk-hooooonk. Yes you such and such I have seen you and heard the first time
. I attempt to move the bike of the bridge but he wouldn’t move, WTF? So I stand my ground and think “all you t**t need to do is let go of the brake and your hunk of junk will roll back down the incline” leading to the bridge, “where I have to manoeuvre the bike manually in reverse”. Eventually after making it clear that I have no Intension of moving back he’s to let me through. For best part of 30 minutes I was (or what seemed like) on my own. Stop for a leak and somebody does announce their presence. Typical! I move on to a new location and take a picture of a railway viaduct just above.
Soon I am on a move again and starting to worry about my ETA at the hotel.
Right, there is one place I really want to get to and everything else can be avoided on this occasion. I cancel out Innsbruck, and Deutsche Alpenstraße from Garmish Partenkirshen to the Lake Constance.
My satnav suddenly pops up a message suggesting I must have a vignette for Austria or find alternative route. Erm. I am in Austria and have been for the last 4 hours. Why the ..... you asking for it now? I press appropriate "button" and carry on following the directions.
As I about to follow directions given by satnav, I get confused about the sign leading to the directed road. It suggests a motorway??? So I pull up on the side of the road besides an island at the junction. Check out my surroundings and a satnav, all is good, visor down left shoulder check indicate and off I go. I see a copier standing in a distance looking toward me, ok careful I am thinking. Speed limit is 40km/ph and I am well under it. I doo a u-turn at the RA and head back toward the junction I stopped at earlier. The said copier now got in the car and ready to pull out as I pass him. Ok strange, is he going to pull me? I make turn left into the road and watch what copper does. He buggers of in to direction I came from. Phew!
A little while later I arrive at the toll booth. WTF? I look up at the board, Silvrettra-Hochalpenstraße €13.60 please.
Oh FFS! Fine I have a place to be at and hand over my card. Barrier comes up and I am on my way yet again. Winding road through the valley, a few little pond like lakes on each side of the road, people fishing, odd cyclist blasts by, then a bus! A few hairpins later I arrive at the dammed lake Silvretta. People mooching about, some walkers packing their kit in the cars. I take a picture, nothing to exiting and move on. 
Soon I am making a descent. I stop at some roadworks and wait my turn. Green light and I am moving again. I spot something at pull up on the side of the road.
I am not sure if it was worth €13.60 but that was a rollercoaster ride. :bounce Soon it is all over and I go yet again trough another barrier at the end of the “sightseeing street”
I carry on through a number of villages. It is lovely green and dead quiet here. Soon I about to leave a village and accelerate to a 90km/ph limit, when suddenly I get a flash of headlights from an approaching Suzuki Jimny and a bloke waving his arms about. I quickly back of the throttle in anticipation of stopped vehicle, an accident etc just round the bend. I take it gently, and as I emerge the other side, I see a copier shooting at me with a hand held gun. He thanks me with a form of wade for keeping bellow the limit. As I looked at him and raised my arm, I could swear it was a same copper I’ve encountered earlier at the junction.
I am now back on the main road 190 heading west into the sunset. My ETA slowly slipping behind and the old Fuck.... Fuckiedie... Fuck! Springs to mind. Never mind I’ll still be a good hour earlier than the night before. Soon I see in the distance a destination I am desperate to get too, it is shiny in the evening setting sun and not a cloud is in sight, but it is still a good hour and a bit away. I am still in Austria and I’ve got Liechtenstein to get through and enter Switzerland. Then a good 45 minute ride to get there.
Ok let’s get going now. I approach Bludenz and then Feldkirch, commuter traffic is in my way and I am not sure if filtering in Austria is prohibited. I stick behind and follow the traffic as if I was 8’ wide.
Eventually I get into Switzerland. It’s a golden hour moment again and I can’t resist but to stop and take a snap. “It is there in the distance!” I keep thinking.
Soon I am climbing the hill and negotiating a number of fast sweeping hairpins. I follow a local Opel Vivaro, who’s seem to be local as he’s going for it. Soon he turns off in to the village and I carry on. Next village I turn right and get greeted with a speed camera. Easy does it. I am past it and I gun it. Road is empty and evening mist setting in. Temperature dropping a bit every few minutes. It’s cooler and sun is soon going down. I pull up as I get closer to my must get to destination. It is even closer now but I still got 20 odd minutes to ride before I get there. I know by now that it is to late. But I still push for it.
Soon I arrive and it is indeed to late. The last ascent was at 6:30pm. I’ve missed it. “Bugger” as I watch the last gondola making its ascent.
Mont Säntis. On a day like today, you can see 6 countries from a single viewing platform. France, Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria and Italy.
I munch another apple and enjoy the view, a handful if people wondering about as I stand and enjoy the view.
Soon I am back on the bike and heading for my hotel. Somewhat deflated I pick my self up with a though of giving myself another reason to come back another time as I leave Säntis in my rear view mirror.
I am headed for border town of Konstanz in Germany to my pre-booked hotel. A diversion due to major roadworks add extra 10 minutes to my ETA and I am having to push beyond the speed limit. I’ve had to many long days in the saddle already and fancy a relatively early arrival. My current ETA, is just past 8pm. Soon I find myself riding in the dark. I get nearly wiped out by a speeding car coming my way across the chicaned level crossing. I can see he will be going wide and stick as close to the edge of the road as I can. He looses traction as he goes across the crossing and with almighty tyre screech carries on going. “That was to close to losing it” I though.
Soon I arrive at the Kreuzlingen, a border town that seem to be linked to Konstanz like Siamese twins, with merely a border post that makes them somewhat independent. I obey a 20 km/ph limit as I cross over the border and get watched by Swiss border patrol. I can see my hotel just a couple of hundred meters up ahed. I park up and go to check in. I paid upfront for this one. I then get asked to pay €17 extra. “What for?”
I ask. For zee parking und zee city tax bitte. I said aren’t bikes park free of charge. Ya, normally they are but not at zees hotel, Ya? “What about dinner tonight, is restaurant still open?” I ask. There is no restaurant in zees hotel other than a breakfast hall. “Ohh great!”
Frustrated I fuck of to my room. It’s all the way up to the top floor.
It is ok and fairly modern hotel, if a bit to clinical and corporate.
I take a shower. And search for a some food source on Google Maps. Two minutes away I find a Burro Burro, a fast food Mexican restaurant. I take a walk and it is a little odd. Two blokes inside cleaning vigorously while bunch of adolescent teenagers larking about and a couple on what seem like a second date are hanging out, while enjoying a few drinks and having their meal. Meanwhile a typical German Techno blaring out the speakers onto the street. It is close to 9pm. Well, I better place my order then. I order a veggie burrito and a large local beer. A few minutes later my burrito get brought by one of the guys. It is massive. And quite tasty too.
Having finished my meal and chatted to my wife, I take a stroll to the Lake Constance on the edge of town. Place is quiet with odd car and busses go by. A few people going on about their business. I attempt to take a few pics, but it is darn dark. I take a walk and a look through town centre and head back to the hotel. I take some stuff from the bike and head upstairs.
Bed time.
TBC
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Fucking liar. Nearly made me late again
Monday Morning! A new week and a final three days of pissing about in a general direction of Home.
Breakfast was good and plenty full, but I still feel ripped off. Stuff up for the day, as I know that due to my planing is gone to pot long time a go.
I receive a text from Arsey:
The fine weather was finally upon us
Pack my shite, load the bike, go. I rather I did not have to tbh.
Today’s destination is Baden-Baden, via a few German biker clobber stores. Nothing booked for the night, so I shall wing it.
I jump on Autobahn as weather is shite to enjoy the bendy roads. I get soaked in no time doing 80-90 mph. My new Held GORETEX gloves “fail” in no time.
A weeks worth of riding in sun with Arsey, I felt a “prisoner” of my to short Rukka jacket, nence my gloves “failed”.
I look around at a number of stores, all clustered in and around Villingen-Schwenningen.
I end up finding stuff but fear it might not be up-to scratch as a one and only go to suit.
I visit a dealer who has a entire range of Stadler gear. Expensive, but it is on par with Rukka or Klim. The difference is, it is all made in Germany at their factory in Bavaria, apart from any stitching done on the inside liners etc, which are done at the sister location, literally across the border in Czech Republic. 10 year warranty is included as standard. If it is good enough for German Polizei, it’ll be good enough for me. I try the long size 102 suit and get to sit on my 1290. All is good and feel right. Still even the long versions of the suits will need extending further. 4cm in the sleeves and 8cm to the bottom of the leg..
I take the brochure with dealer info and bugger off.
Next stop, (it be criminal not to), the farkke galore Of Touratwat HQ. Only a short ride up north.
It is deserted here as it is just gone 4pm. I have an entire store to myself and bored staff. All massively overpriced, but I feel obliged to buy a mesh summer buff at €19.95. Call it a souvenir.
Take a few snaps, drink a coffe and fizzy watter on tap at their cafe (closing daily at 13:30) and do one.
An hour or so later, I bugger off as the weather improved drastically. Chance to dry out before I arrive at the digs.
Through the maze mixture of L (UK equivalent of B roads) roads, I emerge at the famous B500. I feel the only human being around. I love what I see and head in a general direction of Baden-Baden. What a road!!! Fast sweeping bends and I can help but to push the limits
. I will be back I thought for more.
To my left the sun is going rapidly down and to the right I see a natures painting, but I dare not to stop as it is getting late now.
I soon see an illuminated object up on a hill and head that way. I arrive and it is a Hotel Mummellsee with fantastic hilltop views all round and literally on the edge of B500. I am about 30km away from Baden-Baden.
Hotel Mummelsee
77889 Seebach, Germany
+49 7842 99286
https://goo.gl/maps/jxRJzGsUhyT33vrq9
This is right up Nutty’s street. Far better than home
I recall Arsey’s suggestion of using booking.com on “a doorstep” and try to book myself in. Bugger, fully booked.
I take my chances and walk up to reception.
I like this place as I walk up the steps. I have a good feeling. I get greeted by a really nice guy of similar age to me, and ask if he’s got a room. Yes you can have a double suite for a price if a single room. Great I’ll take it. The price (€89) includes a breakfast and a wellness centre access before 9pm. As usual I am to late to cram, shower, swimming pool, dinner and bed all in a manner of a couple hours. Restaurant open to take orders until 10pm he said.
I unpack, shower, and head down for my meal.
I order a local aperitif, of wild blueberry liqueur infused with lemons grass and served over local white wine. Lovely it was too.
I order from the menu and take time to study desert menu.
Next, pumpkin soup served with on site baked bread. Strangely, a loaf of which every guest get a choice to take away with them at the end of theirs stay completely free (subject to a valid voucher) of charge.
Mains I’ve chosen a veggie (potato pattie,
) burger, served with sweet potato fries, accompanied by a local pint on tap.
Soon I feel stuffed and a tear in my eye reject an offer of desert.
Back to my room, hang out on a balcony. It is rather cool and damp. Ok bed time.
The room or shall I say a small Appartement.
I wake up nice and early and take a stroll before breakfast. It’s a cracking sunny morning. A good day to be had I thought.
Wild blueberries (wind berries) as far as an eye can see. Slightly out of season now.
Ok, breakfast time:
Coffee, fresh mint and ginger tea, selection of juice on tap or make your own apple, apple & carrot or carrot. Selection of sparkling or still water to choose from too.
Pancakes on demand too.
Being a German hotel, you get a table assigned the night before for you to sit at. Which was fine as I got to look at the lake illuminated by a morning sun. All was good so far.
TBC
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Breakfast was good and plenty full, but I still feel ripped off. Stuff up for the day, as I know that due to my planing is gone to pot long time a go.
I receive a text from Arsey:
The fine weather was finally upon us
Pack my shite, load the bike, go. I rather I did not have to tbh.
Today’s destination is Baden-Baden, via a few German biker clobber stores. Nothing booked for the night, so I shall wing it.
I jump on Autobahn as weather is shite to enjoy the bendy roads. I get soaked in no time doing 80-90 mph. My new Held GORETEX gloves “fail” in no time.
A weeks worth of riding in sun with Arsey, I felt a “prisoner” of my to short Rukka jacket, nence my gloves “failed”.
I look around at a number of stores, all clustered in and around Villingen-Schwenningen.
I end up finding stuff but fear it might not be up-to scratch as a one and only go to suit.
I visit a dealer who has a entire range of Stadler gear. Expensive, but it is on par with Rukka or Klim. The difference is, it is all made in Germany at their factory in Bavaria, apart from any stitching done on the inside liners etc, which are done at the sister location, literally across the border in Czech Republic. 10 year warranty is included as standard. If it is good enough for German Polizei, it’ll be good enough for me. I try the long size 102 suit and get to sit on my 1290. All is good and feel right. Still even the long versions of the suits will need extending further. 4cm in the sleeves and 8cm to the bottom of the leg.
.I take the brochure with dealer info and bugger off.
Next stop, (it be criminal not to), the farkke galore Of Touratwat HQ. Only a short ride up north.
It is deserted here as it is just gone 4pm. I have an entire store to myself and bored staff. All massively overpriced, but I feel obliged to buy a mesh summer buff at €19.95
. Call it a souvenir.Take a few snaps, drink a coffe and fizzy watter on tap at their cafe (closing daily at 13:30) and do one.
An hour or so later, I bugger off as the weather improved drastically. Chance to dry out before I arrive at the digs.
Through the maze mixture of L (UK equivalent of B roads) roads, I emerge at the famous B500. I feel the only human being around. I love what I see and head in a general direction of Baden-Baden. What a road!!! Fast sweeping bends and I can help but to push the limits
. I will be back I thought for more.To my left the sun is going rapidly down and to the right I see a natures painting, but I dare not to stop as it is getting late now.
I soon see an illuminated object up on a hill and head that way. I arrive and it is a Hotel Mummellsee with fantastic hilltop views all round and literally on the edge of B500. I am about 30km away from Baden-Baden.
Hotel Mummelsee
77889 Seebach, Germany
+49 7842 99286
https://goo.gl/maps/jxRJzGsUhyT33vrq9
This is right up Nutty’s street. Far better than home
I recall Arsey’s suggestion of using booking.com on “a doorstep” and try to book myself in. Bugger, fully booked.
I take my chances and walk up to reception.
I like this place as I walk up the steps. I have a good feeling. I get greeted by a really nice guy of similar age to me, and ask if he’s got a room. Yes you can have a double suite for a price if a single room. Great I’ll take it. The price (€89) includes a breakfast and a wellness centre access before 9pm. As usual I am to late to cram, shower, swimming pool, dinner and bed all in a manner of a couple hours. Restaurant open to take orders until 10pm he said.
I unpack, shower, and head down for my meal.
I order a local aperitif, of wild blueberry liqueur infused with lemons grass and served over local white wine. Lovely it was too.
I order from the menu and take time to study desert menu.
Next, pumpkin soup served with on site baked bread. Strangely, a loaf of which every guest get a choice to take away with them at the end of theirs stay completely free (subject to a valid voucher) of charge.
Mains I’ve chosen a veggie (potato pattie,
) burger, served with sweet potato fries, accompanied by a local pint on tap.Soon I feel stuffed and a tear in my eye reject an offer of desert.
Back to my room, hang out on a balcony. It is rather cool and damp. Ok bed time.
The room or shall I say a small Appartement.
I wake up nice and early and take a stroll before breakfast. It’s a cracking sunny morning. A good day to be had I thought.
Wild blueberries (wind berries) as far as an eye can see. Slightly out of season now.
Ok, breakfast time:
Coffee, fresh mint and ginger tea, selection of juice on tap or make your own apple, apple & carrot or carrot. Selection of sparkling or still water to choose from too.
Pancakes on demand too.
Being a German hotel, you get a table assigned the night before for you to sit at. Which was fine as I got to look at the lake illuminated by a morning sun. All was good so far.
TBC
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
? 
You said you wouldn’t waffle!
Nice last entry, that hotel looks good. And the brek....
I can’t help it Nutters. Waffling seem to come natural to me. No wonder Arsey had intercom on in short successions
. I don’t blame him. 
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