apple pie?

[BOIRCHE]

Food inspector in a bakery catches Paddy putting the design around the apple pies with his false teeth. She roars "Have you not got a tool?" " Yes" Says Paddy "but i use that for the doughnuts!"

 

[Mandylicious]

 

[GerryC]

Young boy comes home to his Da saying he lost his part time job in the chippers. The da decides to check out why & swings by the chipper next day.
"Why did you sack my wee lad?"
To which the response was "I caught him with a potato peeler stuck up his arse".
"A potato peeler" the father exclaimed *mat I see it please?"
"Not a chance" the chipper responded "I sacked him as well"

 

[NI Phil]

Whether or not you are a country music fan , these are truly the words of a deep thinker , and a highly intelligent person .

So simple , yet so profound !

Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson , iconic country and western singer , on his 75th birthday .

Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life .






" I have outlived my pecker ."



The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over ,

My pilot light is out .

What used to be my sex appeal ,

Is now my water spout .

Time was when , on its own accord ,

From my trousers it would spring .

But now I've got a full time job ,

To find the f***in' thing .

It used to be embarrassing ,

The way it would behave .

For every single morning ,

It would stand and watch me shave .

Now as old age approaches ,

It sure gives me the blues .

To see it hang its little head ,

And watch me tie my shoes !!

 

[BOIRCHE]

Awh ye Hoors