Cant Fart on GS

[whitegloss]

Due to the shape of the seat on my GS, i find it very difficult to pass wind when riding the bike. The fart wants to come out but due to the shape of the seat which cushions and compresses your arse cheeks together-stops the pumps from coming out, thus leading to a windy fart smell once Ive lifted the afore mentioned butt cheeks of me saddle when I stop and get off the bike.

This has caused great embarassment usually when paying for me petrol as the wife behind the counter sometimes says "what the feck is that smell?"

 

[Mutley]

Why do you think we invented that myth about standing on the pegs lowering the centre of gravity

Just don't stand downwind of anyone who needs to stand up so much they've fitted Fastway Foot Pegs

 

[(RIP) Bin Ridin]

Here's the thing in practice, you can see my smile but the other guy is a bit far away to see his face...

 

[Wizard]

Bloody hell Bin, bet you can melt rock with those lights

 

[Malcvtr]

Due to the shape of the seat on my GS, i find it very difficult to pass wind when riding the bike. The fart wants to come out but due to the shape of the seat which cushions and compresses your arse cheeks together-stops the pumps from coming out, thus leading to a windy fart smell once Ive lifted the afore mentioned butt cheeks of me saddle when I stop and get off the bike.

This has caused great embarassment usually when paying for me petrol as the wife behind the counter sometimes says "what the feck is that smell?"

BMW have designed the seat specifically to comply with the European directive against on-road farting (EU-5HYTE). Research found that one person in 1977 might have had a wobble caused by smelling a nasty smell. This research cost 44 million euros and took 14 years to complete. The resulting regulation (EU-5HYTE) is 783 pages long and is designed to protect us all, so stop trying to fart whilst travelling for Chrissakes!

 

[themadprofessor]

All in can say is that the 1200 seat has never stopped my wind............

 

[(RIP) Kaister]

why i like this forum ? - all the useful advice

pretend the seat is uncomfortable and move around it a bit.
Don't strain too hard.

 

[piebaps]

I understand that Wunderlich will shortly be releasing an aftermarket device to make farting easier while on the move. This "farting bracket" will bolt onto the frame on the RH side of the machine about 6" above the regular peg. By placing downward pressure on the bracket with the right foot, you should be able to lift the right arse cheek sufficiently high enough to crack one off without having to stand up. The whole (or is it hole?) thing works very similarly to the clutch foot rest you find in a car.

Sargeant are also investigating a modified seat with much improved anodynamics. The seat will feature a groove cut down the centre to allow free passage of wind. Testing has proved problematical however as most leather coverings perish when regularly exposed to dinitrogenfartoxide gas which is found in most chuffs.

A word of warning though. If you are not 100% sure whether your emission is solid, liquid or gas, farting on the move can be a risky business and the fitting of a shatylytic converter is recommended.

 

[DrKen]

When I used to work on boats I always enjoyed foul weather not least because inside your several layers of fleece and waterproof dungarees etc you could fart away like crazy and no one would know

 

[SilverBobGS]

Just make sure its just wind you want to pass, any other item causes a distinct stain to appear in the under garments and renders you unable to grip the seat when braking due to internal friction of the buttocks to seat interface being compromised.

 

[Marjorie Proops]

You need a Y piece and K&N filter.

 

[k12pfc]

You are all sick! Thank god for wet wipes!

 

[Den]

Dont try farting whilst riding your motorcycle.
If any of the concentrated mixture finds its way into the airbox, you will experience a sudden surge in power which could unsettle your machine if cornering in the wet, possibly leading to a nasty spill.

 

[B Murr]

see notes on threads relating to EGR devices, a bit of bodging should make said device adaptable to your rear . Might even improve MPG

 

[Fudpucker]

Hi BMurr.
Where's that lane your on ?. Looks good.

 

[whitegloss]

EVERY ONE ON THIS SITE IS BONKERS-ME INCLUDED!!


each: bet her pumps smell like freshly cut roses mmmm!

 

[Pukmeister]

Dont try farting whilst riding your motorcycle.
If any of the concentrated mixture finds its way into the airbox, you will experience a sudden surge in power which could unsettle your machine if cornering in the wet, possibly leading to a nasty spill.

Is that whats commonly called a "Backfire" Den, or is it just being green and reducing your emissions???

 

[birdseye]

Cant fart on a GS - you're just an amatuer!