Hardcore Balkan Tour....

[Stevie73]

Keith (Yicker) & myself just got back from a 10 day ride covering 4600 miles, and what a blast we had.......

We got the boat from Hull to Rotterdam on the Friday evening (26th) to dock at 7:30am on the Saturday. The tickets with a cabin were dirt cheap, so it seemed a good idea rather than riding down to Dover and going the French route. The boat sailed at 9 o'clock, so by 8 o'clock, the bikes were on the boat and strapped down. We headed for our cabin, got changed, dumped the stuff, and headed for one of the bars onboard. The boat was the pride of Hull, but we later renamed it "The Boat Of Debauchery".....It was full of some of the roughest looking women the UK has to offer. We fitted in just perfect!

After a few too many beers, little sleep and a rude awakening by the boat PA system at 6am, a hearty breakfast of solubles and a smoke was had..

Saturday's ride was really to get as many miles between us and the UK, so we headed for Augsburg near Munich, about 560 miles from Rotterdam, where there was a camp site that I'd seen on the internet that was open. The weather was fine, and we made good progress. As we got near Augsburg, day turned to night and the heavens opened. I don't think either of us relished putting the tents up in the dark and wet, but what the heck... No sooner had we pitched the tents next to a lake at the campsite, Keith decided to get his camp stove set up for a meal. there was a plastic coated picnic bench next to the tents, ideal for cooking on Keith thought, until he spilt petrol all over it and knocked his lit stove over setting the fecking bench alight!! The scene was like something out of Laurel & Hardy as we panicked. The flaming bench was right next to the tents and bikes. We both ran around..."we need water...quick, quick"...."shit, shit, shit....av you got any water?! Shit! I can't find any!!" "I think there's a bottle in me panniers...shit, shit, quick..." All this went on for about 20 seconds whilst we were right next to a massive fucking lake with millions of gallons of water in it!!! Keith eventually found some bottled water and managed to put the fire out, but the bench was well and truly fecked!!

Next day, Sunday, we were to ride through Austria on a nice scenic route to Lake Bled in Slovenia and camp there, about 330 miles. We packed up and headed out of the camp site, looking sheepish and hoping they wouldn't see the burnt bench before we left. As we rode past the reception at the camp site, waving goodbye, I pulled out onto the road but saw Keith had stopped behind me. He was waving at me as if something was wrong. I turned round and went back in to ask what's wrong. He'd only ridden 20 yards at 5mph, and his friggin chain had snapped!! So there we were in the middle of Germany on Sunday where nothing opens, on day two of our hardcore tour, with a poorly F800GS. A few calls to BMW recovery, and they worked a miracle!! The only BMW technician available on call out on a Sunday, was based in Munich. A couple of hours later, and the bike was on the back of the trailer heading for the biggest BMW dealer in the world to be repaired so we could get back on the road. Anywhere else in Europe, and it would have simply been recovered to a dealer and repaired the following day....Luckily we had the only technician available to fix it, and we were free to roam about the whole dealership whilst it was closed....

At 5:30pm the bike was ready. We'd filled our bellies and were ready to roll. Only thing was that we were on a tight schedule with only 12 days, and couldn't afford to fall behind. With that in mind, we had to get to Lake Bled in Slovenia as quickly as possible. Unfortunately this meant seeing none of Austria, and blasting down the motorway. For me, the ride didn't start until Slovenia anyway, so I wasn't overly bothered. After a long and eventless ride, we rolled into Bled in the dark around 11:30pm, something that was to become a common occurrence as the days unfolded. We found a campsite near the lake, but it wasn't open for the season yet. It was all locked up, barriers down, and not a soul in sight, so what did we do? We did what any respectful GS'er would do, and rode round the barriers to find a spot and pitch our tents About half an hour later, a car approached us and stopped. A very nervous looking security guard came over shining his torch in our eyes, and covering something on his hip belt whilst he walked towards us. He looked like he was shitting bricks at the sight of two bikers and was ready with his pepper spray or something. After a handshake and a short exchange of words, we were OK to carry on pitching the tents. It looked like we were in some valley surrounded with mountains. As we settled down for something to eat, there were some very weird noises coming from the wildlife in the hills around us. It was at this point I told Keith about the problem I'd heard of with wild bears in Slovenia, and in Bosnia where we were heading, but we laughed it off as bullshit, ate, and settled in for the night....I slept with my knife at my side just in case though.

Next morning we woke up to a beautiful sight. Lovely warm sun, wooded hills all around and we didn't get attacked by bears. I thought I heard some weird noises during the night, but it was just Keith wanking in his tent. Again, something that would become a common occurrence . As we set off, we stopped to take some pics of Bled. It looked stunning all lit up as we rolled in late last night, but absolutely beautiful in the crisp morning sunlight...

We could start enjoying the ride a bit more now, and planned a route through the mountains of Slovenia, down to Senj on the Croatian coast. We were a bit slow in leaving camp at Bled as we'd had three late nights, but I think we left at 11 in the morning. We had a full day of twisties to look forward to, so with that off we went...

Slovenia is mind blowingly beautiful. If you haven't been, go!! It really is very beautiful. The roads are superb, as is the scenery. Just watch out for gravel on the lesser used mountain roads though, as Keith and myself both had a few bum twitching moments on bends.

As we rode through Slovenian mountains feeling spoilt with the stunning scenery, weather, and roads, all of a sudden we came to a concrete road block on the mountain road. We were right out in the sticks, so decided like any GS'er would, just to ride on the grass verge around the blocks and continue, which we did for about 300 metres when the road ended. They were building a new road up the mountain side and the section we needed to cross would have got us to where the road began again after around 300m. A couple of the construction workers came over and gave us a rough idea of where we needed to go to get around the mountain, so off we went. Basically, the next hour and a half consisted of us getting completely lost a few times and going down dead ends and doing a few U turns. Eventually we found the only "road" that we could figure out would take us round the mountain. It was actually nothing more than a dirt and rubble track. When we eventually made it to the junction with the road we couldn't get down, we were literally 300m further down from where we were talking with the construction workers an hour and a half ago, and as if by pure coincidence, one of them was driving past at exactly the moment we got to the junction!! He stopped and looked at us in amazement, then gave us directions to a town we didn't want to visit....

Keith needs longer legs...

We crossed the border from Slovenia into Croatia and headed for Senj. It was 9pm and dark when we got there, all the campsites were closed and rough as hell so we stopped at a hotel to find out it was way too expensive for us but the guy on reception had a friend that rented apartments, so before we knew it, we were relaxing in relative luxury for the princely sum of €40

Tuesday morning was sunny, and we had a really nice days riding ahead of us...or so we thought...We were heading for Lake Plitvicka (Croatia), then to Bihac in Bosnia, where we were going to head south and stay in Mostar....

 

[Mr K]

 

[Racey]

As Kevin Sanders says - It's not a 'oliday !! It's an adventure !

Keep it coming...

 

[Stevie73]

If you ever go riding in Croatia, there are two things you have to do Firstly, visit Lake Plitvicka, and secondly, take the E65 from the coast to get there!!! Gorgeous road!! Nothing but perfectly smooth and wide sweeping bends and hairpins for miles then you get on the plateau and you feel like you could be riding along route 66. Wide open plains surrounded by mountains. As if that's not enough, when you first see the lakes and waterfalls at Plitvicka, it takes your breathe away!!

The Slovenian/Croatian border we crossed.

Lake Plitvicka...

In the car park at Plitvicka, we bumped into a couple of GS riding Germans visiting with their families in camper vans and their bikes on trailers. We had a real good chat with them and told them we were heading down to Albania and Greece. "Don't ride at night in Albania!" we were told! I'd heard this off a few people, and we had no intention of doing so....hhhmmm With that, we got on our bikes and headed for Bosnia & Mostar at around 4pm.

We crossed the border into Bosnia with no hiccups, headed past Bihac, then would cut through the mountains and back roads to soak up the atmosphere of the country, before picking up the bigger roads down to Mostar.

At first Bosnia doesn't appear to be anything out of the ordinary, but the more we pushed into the country it became apparent that it's a pretty poor place interspersed with grey and desolate towns that are only one step up from shanties. As we went through one town heading for a mountain road, I remember thinking this place makes Salford look like paradise. We climbed out of the town on the mountain "road". I think we were already at a fair altitude, but as we made our way up, the mountain "road" disintegrated into nothing more than a single track pile of shite strewn with rubble and mud. We carried on climbing on the track for a mile or so when we came to a fork in the road. We stopped, had a look at the map and decided left. At this point I happened to catch a glimpse of a rather worrying sign that from the picture on it, implied to beware of wild bears There was snow around, and it was pretty cold. We carried on for a short while until the snow on the track gradually closed in and became too shit to ride through. It was more like compacted ice than snow. We stopped and had a chat. There was around 20km on this track to ride, at this point Keith said to me "There's a lot of dead brave people Steve"...so with that, we decided to turn back and loop around the mountain rather than get into serious trouble. This added a good couple of hours onto the days riding, meaning that, again, we found ourselves riding through mountains and valleys in the pitch black, and just to add insult to injury, the heavens royally opened on us!! We rolled into Mostar at about 10pm, and found a hotel called the hotel Bristol. €60 got us a luxury room for the night

Bear Country..

And the preferred method of transport..

Mostar...

I took this picture above to show the contrast in Bosnia between ruin and regeneration, because that what the country is about. All along the roads you see houses that are riddled with bullet holes and abandoned. You see towns where you wonder how the people survive there. And then you see Mostar, which was ruined during the war, but has been 75% rebuilt to look like a modern European city with well dressed folk wearing Armani and lording it around. I would have liked to visit Sarajevo, but maybe some other time.

 

[tarry]

tour

Enjoying this pal, keep it coming

 

[Stevie73]

We left Mostar and headed for the south western border back into Croatia for a few miles to get to Montenegro. We were going to take the high roads into Montenegro and see some of the national parks, but somebody told us that there was too much snow and we'd be in a world of shit.......so the coast road it was!

The contrast between Bosnia and Montenegro is like day and light.....

I took this picture about two miles before the Montenegro border....

And this picture about two miles into Montenegro....

riding along the coast in Montenegro, it's a bit like being on some posh riviera somewhere. It was warm and humid, and I had a weird sensation like we'd suddenly been dropped in the Caribbean or something. We took a ferry for €1.50 across the water of a big bay at Zelenika to cut a fair few miles off the days ride in the hope that for the first time, we could get to a destination in daylight!!!

And with that, we arrived in the last big town of Montenegro before Albania, called Ulcinj. For the first time on the ride, we arrived at our destination in day light. What a difference that made! We found an apartment for €30, strolled down to the beach and had 4 real pints in a beachside bar for €6, then found a restaurant called Manhatten and had the best beefsteak ever with wine and the full monty for pittance!!

Next stop Albania!!!! What a day that turned out to be......!!!!

 

[Gundog]

Luvin it....

 

[doyle]

Enjoying this

 

[Ropey]

Lovin it lads.... in planning stages for my jaunt down there in late May... Can't wait!!

 

[Glenboy]

Great stuff Stevie, keep it coming

 

[Stevie73]

Gotta admit, everything I heard about Albania gave me a nervous excitement when we headed off from Ulcinj. I'm afraid the only picture I took there was this one.....which summed up the mood in one....

We crossed the border into Albania in no time at all and bought insurance for 2 weeks at €15 from one of the shacks at the border. Before we knew it we were confronted with a myriad of sights which can only be explained as wealth and poverty to the extreme sitting side by side....Literally! On one side of the road, luxury mansions, on the other, shack after shack of abject poverty! We crossed a rickety old wooden bridge to pick up the main road to Tirane, the capital. It didn't take us long to learn the highway code in Albania....every man for himself! Somebody told me ride defensively in Albania. For me that meant attack. I'm a believer that you have to fit in with the local mentality when it comes to riding/driving, or you get pushed to the side of the road, so with that in mind, It was full steam ahead!

there we were happily tanking along the main highway to Tirane, when all of a sudden the road turns to shit! There are cars and trucks 3 and 4 abreast overtaking on rubble, with the same happening in the other direction at 50/60mph!! Tarmac turns to dust and unpaved road in an instant without warning! I'd never seen anything like it...

Forgive me if the following video is a bit shaky, but you'll get my drift...

<object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=10729510&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=10729510&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/10729510">Albanian Highway</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user1773073">Stevie73</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

We got to Tirane without a scratch, but to be honest, it was worse there than on the highways! Dual carriage ways with 5 or 6 cars abreast trying to squeeze into gaps that weren't there. I think it took us about an hour to get through the centre and onto the road out of the capital, but at every set of lights there seemed to be beggars and poverty pushed in your face....

In the centre, there seemed to be a lot of expensive cars...Mercedes ruled the roost, but I couldn't figure out why there were quite a few luxury cars amidst all this poverty? It didn't make sense, but then somebody mentioned a few days later, that's what happens when communism collapses. Some people get VERY rich and the rest stay as they were. It's all a mafia.

The insurance broker at the border...

Main road into Tirane...

 

[Stevie73]

The centre of Tirane itself is quite modern. The roads are good, even if the driving is hectic, but it was a relief to get out of there to be honest....

Earlier in Albania we'd stopped at a petrol station for a bit to eat and fuel up. With the Exception of Ulcinj, each day we'd seem to skip breakfast and lunch, and have a tin of beans or some noodles for dinner, only eating the odd sandwich at fuel ups. I swear I must have lost a stone on this trip. At the petrol station Keith bought me a Snickers bar which I was looking forward to. When we got to the bikes after paying for fuel we were surrounded by a group of kids. We spent about 10 minutes with them. One was learning English at school and seemed like a good kid. Another was a tubby little gobshite. Knowing Albanians can be quite light fingered I was a bit weary of them grabbing my gloves and running off or something like that, but they were good kids and taught us how to swear in Albanian and say things in Albanian like "I'm a nob" which had them in hysterics! As we got ready to ride off, I gave the clever kid my Snickers bar and told him to share it with his mates. His face was a picture, all lit up like Christmas had come. He put the snickers bar in his pocket and suitably legged it, with his mates all chasing him up the road!! With that, they were gone!

An hour or so after meeting the kids we stopped at another petrol station for a rest. It was 21 degrees and sunny. Keith went in the shop and bought me another Snickers bar and some bits and bobs. All of a sudden this skinny looking scroat of a man just appeared out of nowhere and approached us. He stopped about 6 feet away, and just looked at us for a while, he then got a bit closer and gestured if we could give him some money. "No money" we both said, and waved our index finger at him. The poor guy looked like he hadn't eaten in a week, so Keith did the honourable thing and threw him an orange. Cussing through my teeth, and although I couldn't wait to eat my Snickers bar, I threw it over to him. He didn't waste any time opening it and tucked right in like a man possessed, the caramel all over his chin as he savoured my beloved Snickers....

 

[Stevie73]

After Tirane we were heading to the Middle of Albania to a place called Elbasan. The road there was through mountains and about 60 miles long. Once there we were going to decide whether to turn left and go into Macedonia, or turn right and head straight into Greece. There was a ferry leaving Igoumenitsa at 1am for Brisdisi in the south of Italy, but we'd decide once we reached Elbasan.

As we set off on the mountain road within the first few miles on the twisties, I was convinced I had oil on my front tyre or something. I checked the tyre pressures but they were fine. I had the front wheel loose grip momentarily on a few bends. The same happened to Keith. Basically the tarmac was that grey shiny stuff and it was like an ice skating rink. Back in Montenegro, on the same kind of tarmac, whilst we were taking a sharp 1st gear hairpin, my back wheel lost grip and span right out. As this happened with the bike spinning round I gave the throttle a bit of a blip. The bike did a full 180 degree spin, and in an instant, there I was sat on the bike facing back down the hairpin!! Luckily there were no cars behind me, but what a party trick!! I left a full semi donut on the hairpin, and some brown stuff too. With this in mind, shiny tarmac, and a quick chat with Keith, we decided to take it very easy on this road.

As it turned out during the next 60 miles, we'd made a wise decision. On any given blind bend or hairpin that we went round, here's a list of things that you can, and we did, encounter on our side of the road.....

-A black Mercedes overtaking on a blind bend coming the other way and coming right at you
-Cows in the road
-Donkeys in the road
-Chickens in the road
-A land slide!! Seriously!! We rode past what looked like a waterfall of soil and rubble pouring onto the road Another 30 minutes and the road was probably impassable....
-The tarmac disappears mid bend and you find yourself leaning over on the loose stuff (Very common)

That road was probably the most intense, exhilarating, and scariest 60 miles I've ever ridden in my life. In fact, as it was turning out, Albania was becoming just that.....It's a stunning country. The views along the route were breath taking....

 

[fireman]

For once you are actually intresting steve.. on a serious note ..good report and glad you had a good time mate.

 

[Racey]

Get's better and better... Compelling reading... Inspiring... Thanks for taking the trouble to post... I know what a millstone reports like this can become !!

 

[David Nimrod]

Great Stuff

Really enjoying your RR, despite (and because) of the fact that I'm bored out of my f*cking brain sitting here in England, when all I want to be doing is riding my GS

 

[Stevie73]

we made good progress along the road despite being cautious. At some point there was a nice good stretch of tarmac, and the bends opened up a little whilst we descended. We took a nice sweeping right hand bend, and were then confronted with a sight that I'll never forget. I had to stop and watch whilst I laughed to myself about the pandemonium over here. Basically the tarmac ended and the road turned into a rubble and dust track barely narrow enough for two cars. There was a coach, two trucks, and two cars all battling each other to overtake. It was chaos. I waited for them to clear off and took my camera out...

We arrived at the junction in Elbasan where we needed to decide which way to go. We found a petrol station and looked at the map. We were only 50 miles from Macedonia, but border insurance is extortionate, and the detour would add two days in the schedule, which meant we'd be well under pressure the last few days. With that, we decided to go to the port in Greece and get to Italy. At this point it was about 5pm I think. We reckoned we'd get to the port in time to sit by the sea and have a few beers. I think it was about 200 miles or so to get there, so off we went.

The route was to take us through some more mountains, along a river in a valley heading south. We were told Sarande in the south of Albania is a beautiful and vibrant coastal resort. Looking at the map, if we cut through there, we could cross into Greece at a little border crossing near the port, and this would save us a loop of around 40 miles rather than going through the main border.

The next couple of hours were more of the usual stuff, but progress was painfully slow, and we'd underestimated distances. I don't think we were even half way there when the dark started to draw in pretty quickly. I pulled over to change my visor to a clear one. keith went for a piss and nearly got his nob bit off by a dog, and then a car with darkened windows pulled up near us and sat ticking over for 5 minutes. I put my knife in my pocket and we both stood there waiting...the door opened and I though "Uh Oh...here we go.." a few seconds later, a dainty looking lady got out of the car, blew a kiss to the driver, and they went their seperate ways. We breathed a sigh of relief, put our lids on, and cracked on....

 

[Stevie73]

To get to Sarande we had to turn right out of a valley, and go over a mountain road to drop down to the coast. I looked up at where the mountain must have been, It was pitch black so I couldn't see anything except a few car lights criss crossing at hairpins going up what looked like a very steep road similar to Hardknotts pass. I did start to shit it at this point. We turned onto the road and started climbing. I was praying that it would be tarmac all the way. Trying to take hairpins in the pitch black on a bike is quite an experience Your main beam lights up the rock face in front of your bike, but it's pitch black where you're looking and hoping the road is. Add to this that I'm absolutely shit scared of heights, and I can tell you my bum was twitching more than a pretty boys' arse in a gay bar! We were caught up by a Mercedes that overtook us. From the way he was driving, he seemed to know the road. I was determined we had to stay close behind the car to stay safe. It turns out the driver was our guardian angel for a good 30 miles, lighting up the roads for us, and getting us safely to Sarande.....

Once on the promenade in Sarande, we pulled over. Sarande seems quite nice. There was totty milling about everywhere, bars all over the place, hotels, music blaring out from cars, and kids that watch too much pimp my ride doing burn outs in dads mercs. Police were all over the place, but looked like they were just enjoying the burnouts and totty to do anything else. We had a look at the map. We'd already covered 300 miles, plus we were fucked and hungry. The last 30 miles to the border looked to be very, very small roads so we figured out they wouldn't be tarmac. It was about 10pm. I asked some old guys about the road conditions and showed them the map. They shook their heads and indicated that it was rough, with very long sections of single unpaved tracks. As I looked at the map contemplating the possibilities, I could here the voices of fellow mates and north west tossers in my head.....Doc Savage with a broad northern accent "Fuck it Ste! Let's find a nice hotel and get some food and beer..." .....Rudiemoto "I'm hungry, I just wanna eat something. You're not seriously thinking of doing that are you? I'm hungry..." ....TerryNW with a barely understandable brummie accent "It's only 30 miles of tracks in the dark Steve, what the fuck are you worried about? You've got headlights haven't you ya soft bastard!!" I had a chat with Keith. I was swaying towards going for it, and Keith said he was too, so that was that........

 

[Stevie73]

.....There we were! After saying we wouldn't ride at night in Albania, about to do the equivelent of the wayfarers or salter fell on fully loaded bikes with road tyres on, in the pitch black, in deepest darkest Albania! Mental!!

I clipped Keiths LED head torch to my jacket so I could see the map on my tank bag as we went along. As we set off, I took one last look around at Sarande and some of the nice ladies milling around, "We must be fucking crazy" I said to myself. At that point we went past a hotel called The Britannia, the sign said bar open 24hrs.......I hoped we weren't going to regret this.....

The first few miles were rough, but paved, so not so bad. As if by pure luck, we caught up to a 4x4 going along the same route just as we hit the rough stuff. Basically, the track was just rubble, rocks and boulders, with big pot holes. Thank god it wasn't muddy though otherwise we would have been in deep shit! We stayed close behind the 4x4 following its lines and having the track lit up for us. Again we had a guardian angel lighting our way when we most needed it!! We crawled along like this in first gear over the rocks and avoiding the pot holes for about 3 or 4 miles until we arrived in a small town and the 4x4 pulled off to the left. I had a look at the map but couldn't see any junctions or towns, but luckily two young guys stopped and asked us if we needed any help. We asked which the right road was, and they pointed up towards the left. We rode along in the dark on pretty much the same kind of surface for a good while, but we were doing OK and not out of our depth. I think around 10 miles or so later of a mixture of track and tarmac, and a few stops to check the map, the track suddenly opened and we arrived at a river.......Only problem was there was no bloody bridge!! We looked around trying to see if there was a bridge anywhere, or another track that would take us to a bridge. The river was too deep to get the bikes through. "Fuck, fuck...FUCK!!" "SHIT!!" We took our helmets off and had a chat...."Now what we gonna do?" "Looks like we'll have to go back to Sarande!!" "SHIT!!!" "FUCK!". On the other side of the river, we could see a small building that had a light on it, but couldn't make out what the building was. Looking at the flow of the river, my heart sank as I realised we were gonna have to go back along the tracks and trails to Sarande, but then I thought of the Hotel Brittannia, the 24hr bar, and all that lovely totty waiting for me. At that moment, a 4x4 pulled up behind us. A gringo looking guy got out and lit a smoke. He stood there for a moment puffing away on his cigarett, so I asked him how to get to Igoumenitsa, he just raised his arms and eyebrows. "Bridge?...Greece?" I said to him, he just puffed on his cig and again raised his arms and eyebrows as if he didn't give a fuck... He was pulled up right behind the bikes and had left his headlights on. I was thinking the young guys had sent us down a dead end and tipped this guy off. My knife was still in my pocket. He reached into his car, and for a second it was another of those "Oh shit, here we go moments", and beeped his horn twice. A couple of seconds later we heard something like a generator fire up on the other side of the river. Low and behold, across comes this little wooden raft on a pulley system!!! We were in hysterics!! Our spirits had been given a huge boost!!!! On we rolled, and just 20 seconds later, we were on the other side of the river, and just 7 or 8 miles from Greece.

 

[neil 23]

Brilliant !