Quiz shows reveal perhaps not the very best 'Brains of Britain'

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http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/0226/1224265201295.html

Quiz shows reveal perhaps not the very best 'Brains of Britain'

Fri, Feb 26, 2010

MAGPIE IS in receipt of some hilarious bloomers from Harry in Budapest that arrive under the catch-all heading, “Brains of Britain”. Seems appropriate the day before Twickenham!

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for “cherrypickers” and “cheesemongers”?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World ?

Contestant: I don’t know.

Stewart White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Stewart White: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re . . .?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World ?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO (Wolverhampton)

DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi’s first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM (Bristol)

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22nd, 1963?

Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question: What is the world’s largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.

ROCK FM (Preston )

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth . . . er. . . er . . .

Three?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood: What “K” could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er . . .

Phil Wood: It’s got two syllables . . . Kor

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no.

The past participle of run

Contestant: (Silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?

© 2010 The Irish Times
 
On TV quiz show quicksilver.

Bunny Carr : What was hitlers first name?
Contestant : Heil?

Bunny Carr : Whats a female wasp called?
Contestant : A wazzie?

On the Larry Gogan just a minute quiz after the contestant had gotten all 10 questions wrong.

Larry : Never mind Tom, sure the questions didn't suit you.
Contestant : Ahh F*** off Larry.
 


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