Religion Joke - keep out if you won't like it..

[(RIP) Bin Ridin]

Anyway, here is my favorite joke about Muslim sects:

A man was walking across a bridge one day, and he saw another man standing on the edge, about to jump off and commit suicide.
He immediately ran over and said
“Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
The man said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
“Like what?”
“Well … are you religious or atheist?”
“Religious.”
“Me too! Are you Muslim, Christian or Jewish?”
“Muslim.”
“Me too! Sunni or Shiite?”
“Sunni.”
“Me too! Hanafi, Hanbali, Shafi or Maliki?”
“Hanafi.”
“Wow! Me too! Do you follow Sheikh Fulaan al Fullani or Sheikh Kaza Kazah?”
“Sheikh Fulaan al Fullani.”
“What?!! Die, heretic scum!” and he pushed the man off the bridge.

 

[harry]

Well told.....but the end is easy too easy to predict

 

[richie]

A nun was talking to some young girls....

Nun: "what would you like to do when you grow up?"
Girl1: "I'd like to be a doctor"
Nun: "Well done, and you" she said to the next...
Girl2: "I'd like to be a prostitute."
Nun: "A what?"
Girl2: "A prostitute"

Nun: "Thank god for that, I thought you said a protestant....."

 

[Corporal Punishment]

The head nun told 2 nuns too repaint the nun living quarters but they would be in deep trouble if they got any paint on their robes.

so nun 1 thought "hey why don't we take all our clothes off and paint and we won't get in trouble because our robes won't be soiled"

nun 2 said "great" so they started painting and nun 2 made sure the door was locked so no one came in.

then there was a knock on the door.

nun 2 said "who is it??"

someone answered "blind man"

nun 1 said " it's a blind man let him in he won't see us"

so nun 2 unlocked the door and the man goes, "oh you've got really nice boobs, anyway i'm here to fix the blinds"!!!!

 

[Corporal Punishment]

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!" Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."

The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask. Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?" The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."

The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!" The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"

To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!" The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"

To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah..... are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?" The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling, "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

 

[ChubbyThumper]

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!" Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."

The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask. Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?" The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."

The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!" The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"

To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!" The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"

To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah..... are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?" The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling, "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Sorry mate it was Grumpy screwed the penguin.

Grumpy.


There were witnesses

 

[Daithi]

Sorry mate it was Grumpy screwed the penguin.

Grumpy.


There were witnesses

Definitely, it wasn't the Dopey one, it was the Grumpy one who shagged the penguin !