The Greatest Escape Redux- This Time Its Personal

[Deleted account 210901001]

Other stuff.

Please note how stylishly the fire chief gets about....

And that the German sailor has just had a wank in the u boat toilet, complete with jazz mag.

I can imagine someone at Bletchley park decoding the sounds of grunts and knees knocking together....

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[Deleted account 210901001]

The Russian space shuttle looks nothing like the American one eh....

No industrial espionage going on there at all.

The external engines are to test powered flight characteristics.

The little burned one was used again to test aerodynamics prior to building full size.

In summary well worth it. My tip would be to arrive mid afternoon when its quiet. I recon there were 20 people in whole place.

In cafe I book a room in a monastery 20 miles away, I'm going to stop off on the way to buy a cork for my ass......

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

Arrive at monastery in Neustadt. Had to go on a diversion through a place called Umlaut but arrive safe.

Check in and have chat to one of the priests.

He tells me that he has been very lucky in the preceding year in that he got to kiss the popes ring......

I wander off mulling over two things,

The Swiss Guard must have been a bit slack that day..........

and I am hoping that he remembered to brush his teeth thoroughly that night.

Anyway the room is nice so shower up and walk into town.

It's about 1.5 miles downhill. Not looking forward to return journey......

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

End up in town and it's cute place.

Not been eating much so get a large pizza and a beer, v romantic with candle too.

As I walk back to the monastery I can just feel a tiny bit of rain..........plan tomorrow is twofold,

1. Wake up non violated, and have a negative Japanese flag arse situation going on.

2. Make progress to within 2 hours of Hook of Holland (Yeeeesssshhh)

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[Rich C]

Marvellous.. great to read some familiar place names.. not been for a few years..It's got me thinking... cheers..

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

Glad to have stirred you bits......as it were

M

 

[Fullchat]

'Marvellous.. great to read some familiar place names.. not been for a few years..It's got me thinking... cheers..'

Likewise.

Last year we stayed at Kloster St Maria in Esthal in the hills to the West of Neustadt. Travelling to Munich by car on this occasion. A large convent which although run by Nuns , with a great sense of humour, had partially been turned over to B&B. Good price and good accommodation. Even had an honesty box for the bottled beer in a fridge.

A big party of bikers turned up so it must be a familiar stop over,.

 

[Von Stolberg]

Top stuff S92

Glad you enjoyed the road from Triberg back up. Coupla years ago i was overtaken (whilst daydreaming) by a mullet-wearing local in a hot Audi. Having woken abruptly, I slotted in right behind him and was treated to a VERY fast and knowledgeable guide of the 30-40km route ahead, with much gusto.

Most impressed with your Sprechen Skills , It took me ten years to realize Nur fur Gaste meant ONLY for guests!!

Let us know what's groovy to see/do in Hoek, I usually rock up there either comfortably wet through, or 'only just in time' , or both.
It'd be nice to see what could be done if arrriving with time and weather in hand.

Thanks for the write ups, Hope to meet up one day, we'd get on!

 

[Ash]

Cracking write up & superb pictures..
Thanks for sharing it with us...

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

Thanks for the positive comments chaps...

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

Day 11

I wake up and quickly check 2 things....

1. My arsehole is the same size as when I went to sleep

2. It is indeed wet, (weather not my sphincter), but not actually raining. After the outstanding luck I've had I'll take that.

Plan today changes due to being recommended a museum in overloon.

I bite the bullet and get on the autobahn, pop in cruise control at 60mph and happily mong it for 2 hours north.

Amazingly the weather clears around the 2 hour mark so I do another 20 miles to dry kit out and pull over for a coffee.

Even though its bone dry now I shamefully crack on up the motorway to venlo then head to museum....

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

The town of overloon races towards me and I just follow the signs to the museum.

On arrival they are having some kind of school thing, I dont really fancy sharing it with kids, and there are a shit load of coaches in the parking area.

I decide upon the non "Gary Glitter" option of hanging out with hundreds of schoolies and sign up for the "pikey bastard tour" alternative option which consists of a few things dotted around the general area..........


Il show you....

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

The area immediately around the museum. It's a pretty town square with a lovely cafe.

It also has a "Johnny Napalm" store where you can stock up on para cord bracelets, d day badges, honking used boots, Dutch fart sacks with sleeves, knives of every length and shape. Kukris, American cots, and whatever else you need to stock up on for WW3.........oh and most bizarrely budgies.

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[Deleted account 210901001]

Having stocked up on various pieces of utter shite that I will never use, its onwards to my digs at Uden. Chosen purely on the basis of its piss cheap and between museum and Hoek Den Holland.

The road between the 2 places is a little gem, single track ish but looks like cadwell park. Great surface. After a lot of motorway miles it's nice to use gears 3 and 4 for 15 miles or so.

The last bit starts to look familiar from the distant past. .......... I'm racking my brain trying to think why when I see a security fence which looks military like.

On the next roundabout theres an F16 gate guard, penny drops, its Volkl air base, about 300 years ago I displayed at their air show a few times. Happy memories come flooding back, tainted by the realisation that I'm now an old git and total has been

Still, got my looks at least .......

Onwards.....

Occasionally sat nav really come into their own.

Finding the digs was one such time. Its tucked away right next to big road but getting to it would be a pain if no sat nav.

Its simple but clean and the host is a jolly Dutch chap who is super helpful.

In shower change and head for the sights of town, ideally a 15 min walk away.

 

[Deleted account 210901001]

Great digs.

Put the girl to bed and head to town.

Keen to not appear like a tourist, I put on my clogs, (available at the Johnny Napalm store), and adopt my best Steve McLaren Dutch voice. Yeeeessshhh.

I think the locals think I live there too, or they may think I'm a total wanker.

I decide on the former.....

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[Deleted account 210901001]

Town is pleasant enough, find a nice place which has outside seating and inside it has a dance floor.

I'm regretting the clogs now as I haven't busted any moves since the night before the funeral at the Bee Gee place.

I adopt the "Essex Slapper" technique of removing footwear and cracking on like that. I think I'm doing a convincing impression of an Essex girl, the only difference is that a real one would have a slightly higher sperm count.


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[Deleted account 210901001]

The scene of clog gate.....

And keeping warm in a natty blanket outside.....

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[Deleted account 210901001]

Day 12

Wake up and grab free coffee.

I'd recommend this place, basic but close to main routes and ideal for Arnhem and the surrounding museums.

Ferry at 1415 so head into town again to keep exercise regime up.

Find classy coffee house and sit there occasionally smiling as I recall the trip and various events that unfolded.

This is the joy of cuff it travelling.........and I fucking love it

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[Deleted account 210901001]

Grab ferry, worryingly Google maps show were very lost......

Have a read, the new light adventure bikes are going to sell like hot cakes I recon...

And then honk it back home, just in time to finish this drivel off

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[Deleted account 210901001]

Anyway hope I've maybe helped you with travel ideas along the way.

As ever I'm happy to help anyone with route advice, accommodation etc.

Just give me a shout.

M

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