The Turkey Trot - A Ride Report

[Deleted account W]

The idea came from a beery night with Steptoe, something about riding down to Asia and back through the new Eastern European countries would be a laugh.

The planning had been minimal, the channel tunnel crossing and the ferry across the Adriatic had been booked plus the first nights hotel in Milan. Apart from that we didn’t have anything else arranged. In fact we weren’t even sure who would be turning up due to home commitments.

As it was twelve of us turned up to ride to Turkey and back over Easter.

In roughly alphabetical order……


Blowzorn, Paul or Special Uncle Alan, call him anything really, we did.

Bsogri, Brian. Nice bloke from Sunderland, couldn’t understand a word he said.

Darkhorse Dave, biker by day, male model by night.

Floyd, Mike, our token Scotsman.

James Burton, the trips facial cleansing advisor.

Novice, Tom. His forum name needs changing; he’s far from being a novice anymore.

Number 6, Andy. A last minute entry having decided to come the day before we left.

Popeye, Alan. Never saw him eat spinach once although he claimed to of had his first doner kebab while we were away.

Shapeshifter, Rob. Later to be renamed Shitshifter for his prolific toilet usage.

Shep also known as Shep, but we just called him Shep.

Whapping, Richard. Our Tour Dad. When we stood about smoking and chatting, he was running about sorting hotels and ferry tickets.

And me, I was only there for the beer.

So that was the Turkey Trot entrants, we had a destination and various credits cards so what could possibly go wrong, after all we were all riding expensive, reliable BMW’s.

 

[bsogri]

turkey trot

then why did your 1150 breakdown

 

[Shep]

then why did your 1150 breakdown

Twice

 

[PhilM]

Irony is more than something James uses on his shirts

 

[Uncle Rob]

then why did your 1150 breakdown

didnt wont the 1200s to feel left out

 

[Deleted account W]

Day One, Wednesday, 199 miles. Nottingham to Folkestone.

I left home mid afternoon heading for Folkestone but had to do a stop off at Devitts Insurance offices in Romford.

The incompetent twats had taken £26 off me a month earlier to issue me with a green card that gave me fully comp cover in all the countries we planned to ride through but failed to post it to me. It actually turned up two days after we’d left. Even when assured it would be waiting for me on reception it still took the Muppets three quarters of an hour to locate it. They won’t be getting my renewal next year.

We all met up at the Premier Lodge near the Tunnel apart from Whapping and Darkhorse Dave who were to meet us at the Tunnel in the morning.

We dined on mediocre food and talked to a 65 year old Goldwing rider on his way to a “Wing Ding” in Belgium. Not a very exciting day but the trip really hadn’t started yet.

 

[Dahoum]

 

[Deleted account W]

Day Two, Thursday, 689 miles, Folkestone to Milan.

Up early and under the tunnel then onto the French Autoroutes. Easy miles and miles and miles of motorway driving.

We generally stopped around the 200 mile mark to fill up and have a drink.

Into Switzerland and it got colder as we entered the Alps with snow at the side of the road. The traffic was busy heading into the Gotthard Tunnel and while filtering I managed to leave a lasting momento of my travels down the side of a VW Golf, the driver gestured for me to pull over but it seemed to be more trouble than it was worth and I carried on.

30 miles later, in the dark I saw flashing blue lights and was pulled onto the hard shoulder by two very polite Swiss traffic cops, they pulled Blowzorn earlier then realised they had the wrong bike. They explained that a VW Golf driver wanted a word with me and we were to wait for him. We waited for twenty minutes and chatted about bikes, one of them owned a R100RT and toured on it. He was impressed with my Zumo.

To say the Italian Golf driver was a little perturbed when he eventually turned up would be an understatement. The cops had to assure him I would be fined, the bike owning cop told me that this wouldn’t be the case but it seemed the only way to shut the “silly Italian man” up. We swapped details but I can’t see me getting a Christmas card off him.

This feck about put me an hour behind the rest and I rolled into Milan hungry and ready for a beer.

 

[snoopy]

 

[Deleted account W]

Day Three, Friday, 272 miles, Milan to Ancona

We needed to be at the Port of Ancona around three to pick the tickets up and board the ferry to Greece. The Italian motorways were manic and at one point they came to a stand still. I saw a turn off for Rimini and took it as I’d lost the rest and thought the coast road would be a better option.

If you’re ever down that way don’t bother going to Rimini, it’s a mess. I stopped and had a coffee then headed South to the port, entering Ancona I passed a new 800GS who gave me nice cheery wave.

The port security seemed non existent and let me into the boarding area without a ticket, a few were already there and we waited for the rest to roll in.

Wapping did the business collecting the tickets at the ferry office. He mentioned that the office was chaos and everyone in it a stranger to soap.

Blowzorn turned up with an oily rear tyre and oily rear brakes. His rear bevel wasn’t as oil tight as he’d have preferred. He rang BMW for details of the nearest dealer in Greece but they couldn’t tell him because the address on their system was written in the Greek Cyrillic alphabet. Nice one.

The boat was impressive; the guys boarding us said they’d tie the bikes down for us. Which they didn’t, perhaps they forgot.

We set up camp and got the beers in, smoking in public areas in Greece is obligatory.

During the night, Shapeshifter who shared our cabin evolved into Shitshifter and monopolised the cabins toilet facilities. He looked a worried man in the morning.

 

[Popeye]

Who was Floyd talking about ??

 

[Deleted account W]

Day Four, Saturday, Igoumenista, Greece to Thesseloniki Greece.281 miles I think, the Zumo track log vanished for this day?


In the morning we got our first views of the Greek coastline, the weather felt as unsettled as Shitshifters arse.

The ferries pool was closed so no early morning dip for the Trotters.

We found a bike garage in Igoumenista to get some oil for Blozorns bevel and to try and locate where it was leaking from. They seemed to be quite relaxed about disposing of their unwanted bikes.

Brian waded in and got his hands dirty, silicon was put on the ABS senor “O” ring and the oil level topped up. The tyre was cleaned up as best we could and we headed off for the mountain roads away from the motorways for a welcome change.

The roads were impressive but I wondered how impressed Blowzorn was with mirror finished tarmac and an oily rear end.

I was just starting to relax after a few stressful days.

Later on in the day we pulled over to check the bevel again and Blowzorn decided to ring Williams and ask their advice as they’d serviced it just before coming away. They suggested he try the checking the oil filler plug for tightness. We didn’t even know it had one. It did and it was loose.

We reached Thesseloniki that evening and tossed about trying to find a hotel. Eventually we ended up in a roadside Motel. The rooms could be rented by the hour or all night. We paid for a full night.

While dining there that evening we got to see a first. A Scotsman eating fruit that hadn’t been battered and deep fried.

 

[Uncle Rob]

Who was Floyd talking about ??

a certain bmw dealer perhaps

 

[Deleted account rno]

So far so good

 

[wully]

 

[Deleted account W]

Day Five, Sunday, Thesseloniki Greece to Bandirma, Turkey. 428 miles.


We loaded up the bikes and paid the Motel/Brothel owner.

While hammering across Greece my alternator belt snapped. It was an old one of Steptoes that I’d put on the last time it snapped on the way to the Hogroast, which I’d neglected to change. I carried a spare so it didn’t take long to replace it.

40 miles down the road the replacement snapped. This was becoming tiresome. It seemed that I’d not got the first one all the way onto the engine pulley (if that’s what its called?) and the rim on the edge had cut through it. Shapeshifter also had a spare so I used his.

It also started to rain.

The border between Greece and Turkey took a while because they needed to see all our document at numerous booths and offices.

A couple of us needed to buy insurance and Blowzorn found out he’d bought along the V5 doc for his old 1150 not the 1200 he was riding. This confused matters.

It was still raining as we waited on the other side of the border for Blowzorn.

We passed the time taking photos, this ones one of Popeyes…

Finally all through we made our way to Eceabat to catch the small RORO ferry that would take us across the Sea of Marmite. We drew quite a bit of interest from the locals.

Back on the road we didn’t really know where we were heading but wanted to get as close to Istanbul as possible. As it got dark we made a port called Bandirma and found a hotel on the front. The bikes lined up on the road outside looked impressive.

We all used needed a cash machine and food. This we dealt with then found a bar. A good bar. The barman was a little surprised when asked in Turkish if it was a gay venue, amazing the phrases you find in the Lonely Planet guide books.

On the way home in the early hours we found a kebab van. It had to be done.

 

[Steptoe]

Je Ne Regrette Rien .

 

[Thunder]

Shitshifter? Now you tell me, I just rented him a room at ours for next Thursday night

Dynorod on standby

 

[Donny2Sugars]

What a sweet trip

 

[Pumpy]

Very entertaining report, Kev, keep it coming...