Tossers-in-the-Tejeda III - Ride report

A few Pictures

I've finally uploaded some pictures.

you can find them here :

http://dave-emsley.smugmug.com/Other/tejeda/14322214_h94z3#1060004053_AjWhc

and here's a selection

Mr Cool with the first beer of the week

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Second bar and 'a couple' of beers later

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Offloading the bikes, Dont step back greg.........doh !!!

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Arriving at the Monastery

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Remains of the Monastery

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Sun rise at the monastery

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a rare picture of the BMW upright ! :augie

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the Jaegermeister in action

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The Jagermeister is still in denial , now blaming the machinery

well done gents, you even beat the jagermiester, I am impressed but did you manage to smile after the event. Your training in competa was not wasted after all .IN your own words its all a game.:blast:blast let me known and I might see you at the next event. ps. did you let in your motorhome for drinks and a sleep over?:beerjug::beerjug:

Hi Rog,
I just won the lottery and taking all my mates away for a slap up holiday starting in Mauritius, then working our way around the world. I was just wondering if you'd mind emptying my bins while I'm away :-)

'Ere, I got my eye on a KTM 450 on e-Bay - it's an '09 and comes with super-moto wheels. It looks quite nice but I'm waiting to see what sort of dosh it's going to pull before deciding. The chap who's auctioning it is mentioning it cost him 9k and had to pull his last auction due to silly bids. That will probably be me this time hehe. Failing that I found a brand new Husaburg like Greg's going for 5K so am seriously thinking about that as well. I didn't really like the berg though, didn't feel as responsive as your bike. Still I suppose you need every advantage you can get eh old man. You won't believe what a state my 200 was in, it's amazing anyone could ride the thing, let alone race it...

And tell Pete no problem if he wants to crash over. It'll be twice as much fun beating two of you!

The Jagermeister
 
jagermeisters

how about a ride out soon ,next event or enduro even greenlanes or perhaps enduro kent practice day . go on it might make you smile even drink with the meister. cheers Peter.:beerjug:
 
Ride out soon

how about a ride out soon ,next event or enduro even greenlanes or perhaps enduro kent practice day . go on it might make you smile even drink with the meister. cheers Peter.:beerjug:

Hi Pete, I mailed you but it bounced back, I posted it in the Suffolk forum but got no reply, do posts take longer to upload in Suffolk?

:beerjug:
 
My ride report part II

Another great thing about this trip is that your own bike is shipped from Hertfordshire to Spain, upon your arrival it is there on the driveway ready to ride and damage free, the shippers really made a good effort to protect the bikes in transit, which is more than could be said for us the riders, During the week I think every bike went home with at least one more scratch than they had upon delivery in Competa.

<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/iQ0WZbmW9dzHu7xUO0r6lQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_UKgMtd3rVsQ/TMX3EUItnBI/AAAAAAAAAD4/4BaHlFlyLJc/s800/IMG_0127.jpg" height="478" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/111460620594928741051/Enduro?feat=embedwebsite">Enduro</a></td></tr></table>
Tuesday morning we set off to ride the wall of death !! It would be fair to say that not everyone was excited by this prospect but as is often the case it is not as formidable as its name, the route involved a bit of road work to get there, not unpleasant roads, just a gentle amble through the local villages, Greg our leader showed us the way, he has a good memory for a route, While Greg rode along at the front showing due diligence to the road and other users we, well we the more infantile members of the group used the road section to practise wheelies / how low we could drop a enduro bike on a hairpin or anything else that came to mind. The daydreaming was interrupted when I followed a 56 seater coach into a hairpin and then came to a halt about 6 feet behind it not knowing what was going on ahead , the reversing lights on the coach illuminated and it was time to make a sharp exit! We soon found a off road section and we all ran down a valley then across a stream and out up a wide path on the other side, I enjoyed this bit and having done quite a bit of roadwork to get here I thought this would be an ideal opportunity to give the “tossers” some photo’s, the stream was easy to cross and the uphill was steep but wide & smooth, my thinking really was ideal opportunity to show off a bit. So with cameras running I cross the stream head up the hill looking in control as planned, I then pop a wheelie up the climb, at this point I off balance veering into the rough where I collect a discarded 4” mesh wire fence that wraps round my wheels, umm not quite to plan but taught me a lesson, to top it off I then brand my inner arm on the manifold trying to pull the fence out of the front wheel. Lesson learned I am grateful that Dr JM has a first aid kit and kindly fixes arrgh burny bit on arm.
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After wall of death and a few other good trails the group head for an early finish with drinks in town then Tapas back at the Villa, after Tapas we manage to raise a few souls to go out for a sunset cruise, with just four bikes in the group we had a real blast and rode to the top of the mountains without hardly stopping for a break , the only downside of a big group is the pace of travel is limited, this evening ride really was as good as it gets, we took some pics and headed back just as the evening shadows limited visibility.

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Weds morning arrived so we had been riding 3 days so far, I woke early and went to the veranda to take the morning air courtesy of Phillip Morris plc. Tim was already sitting there having to evacuate his room in the night as his roommate (another guaranteed non snorer), was fecking snoring in the night. Tim had set up his new bed in the spare Kitchen, what with people moving rooms during the night, snorers fecking snoring and too top it off a mountain tiger raiding the bin in the Kitchen which wouldn't of been bad enough, but the clumsy tiger fecker managed to knock over every empty wine bottle in the vicinity, which was quite a few.

Anyway I thought i was tired until the arrival of the rest of the group, by now we had all spent a fair bit of time with each other and I have to say for a group of eleven who were together mainly because of a shared love of bikes, they were a nice bunch of people. The tiredness levels within the "tosser's" seemed proportionate to how long they stayed up drinking the night before i.e. the ones who stayed up drinking latest (not me) seemed the most refreshed the next day and conversely the guys who went to bed early seemed "cream crackered" this could only be down to two things I was missing out on the wife swapping party or each days riding was taking its toll.

I felt the 6 days riding trails required about the same levels of energy as a week's skiing, and just like skiing if you fall every day you gonna be a lot more tired than if you don't fall each day. Consequently on this Weds morning some members of the group looked like the walking dead. I really hoped today they were going to have an easy ride out. Bear in mind each day was always posted as an "easy rideout", but the storms of the previous winter had turned easy trails into hard trails, Greg had rode these trails the year before and was not aware or could of been aware of what had happened to the trails this last winter, so each day turned into generally quite technical riding. Some loved it, some feared it and some took photos of it.
As the days progressed I had developed a Heath Robinson system of deciding how gnarly / nadgery a section of boulder stream would be, by how many cameras were assembled upon my arrival at the gnarly / nadgery bit to record each riders demise. I tried to ensure they did not get too many pics of me coming a cropper by riding the trickier sections immediately upon arrival rather than stopping and umming and arrghing before hand. Here is a classic example of a camera abuse:augie

Courtesy of the Jagermeister Photos Inc
<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/6CB2xXn0Sm_cYGEYjQr9pw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_UKgMtd3rVsQ/TMXuq1noI7I/AAAAAAAAADw/nmo2ESyjWgA/s800/IMG_0062.jpg" height="478" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/111460620594928741051/Enduro?feat=embedwebsite">Enduro</a></td></tr></table>

So off we set on our easy ride, we lose Dave within ten minutes as his moose in the rear has decided it wants to be egg shaped, he heads back to the villa 1 down 9 to go, within 20 mins I wrongly direct Bakerman which was stupid really as I did not know the way but could not see an alternative route. Greg catches me up enquires after Bakerman which I advise rather sheepishly that I had instructed to follow the path ahead "you can't go wrong" i tink were my words. Greg then pointed to a goat track going vertical from the main trail that a lot of the goats to be honest looked at and said "feck that" anyway Greg advises me this track is an integral part of the "easy ride out" I offered to go find Bakerman, you would be surprised how far he can roam in a short period of time, I direct him back to goat trek turn were Greg is waiting for us, while Bakerman and me have been gone the track has been named ( generally in my experience the naming of a track in the absence of a camera gallery, signifies difficulty) The track has been named the zig zags. Although also referred to in other posts as "divorce hill :)"

Bakerman takes a look at the route says feck that I can have a better days riding on me own and is gone, 2 down 8 to go. I look up at the track ahead and can see various riders at different points up the trail some riding, some coaching, some struggling. I catch Pete up who has stopped to help a rider with a cooked clutch and seeing how he can help. Pete provides some words of advice and some confidence boosting and then Pete and I watch as the tired bike and passenger set off again up the zig zags, the bike makes perhaps another 100 feet of track and then although due to the steepness of the hill we do not have a clear view we can see the front wheel go vertical and then the bike come back over on itself, 3 down 7 to go. It did not look good, not as in danger but in the group being able to complete the days riding. I passed '3 downs' partner another 100 feet up the trail and said she's fine but perhaps I should of said she needs you. Anyway he ignored my advice and quite rightly went to see his wife, four down six to go. Another 100 feet another tricky turn another broken soul, five down five to go, mentally I could not take any more negative karma so to my shame I was bored with being encouraging, so after a quick chat I rode on to the top of the hill and took in some mountain air courtesy of Phillip Morris plc where I awaited the rest of the group well 5 actually.

Looking back I think we could of all made the zig zags on the first morning but riding off road really tires u.

That afternoon although we had a depleted group we rode out to a lake it takes perhaps takes an hour to the other side of the mountain range with a smaller group who can all maintain a good pace, we then rode a trail around the lakes shoreline for perhaps 30 minutes, the riding through the mountain and around the lake was fast and fabulous.
We had lunch courtesy of a misserable restauranteur, todays riding showed all sides of the whole trip.

The afternoon was the best off road riding I have ever experienced, to ride fast with a few like minded guys whose company you enjoy, to ride trails and have confidence in all those riding around you is possibly what we all want from these trips. :beerjug::beerjug: This trip had it in abundance.

On the Friday the group split into two and I think both groups got more out of the day as the riding seemed to flow when less bikes were involved. Friday we rode out to the lake once more but perhaps 10% faster than earlier in the week this really makes you smile, it really is an amazing experience to ride off-road for more than over an hour without repeating the same track which is generally my experience in England.

Would I recommend this trip to others? YES
If you have had a couple of years riding a dirt bike I think you can cope with most things the route entails and some of the trickier bits can be by-passed. So go ahead and give it a go, see you next year.
Lastly thanks to Greg who organised this trip and I would presume put in many hours on our behalf to ensure the trip ran well and really left us little to moan about (which as you know is always a shame):augie

On the last night of the trip in the local bar, after too many drinks and plenty of bollox talked I arrange to meet up with one of the guys at the next enduro in the UK to settle our score. Surprisingly we both turn up on the agreed day and enter a enduro race (novice class) in Dorset and enjoy the day immensely, + after 6 riding days in Spain, 2.5 hours on a bike seems easy.
 
Nice write-up Roger :thumb2

To great sighs of relief all round I'm sure, this particular 'mortal' won't be going next year. It was enjoyable but I'd like a few more years' experience under my belt before attempting that trip again!

I attempted this year's trip after only 8 month's experience riding off-riding and it showed - I was really out of my depth. As Roger rightly says, the more you struggle and fall off, the more knackered you get, and I wasn't exactly bike-fit to start with :augie. On top of that, I was constantly relying on the experts to ride my bike out when I got stuck, which for them is twice the effort and a fecking pain in the Aris.

Have fun next year, I look forward to seeing the pictures :green gri .
 
To great sighs of relief all round I'm sure, this particular 'mortal' won't be going next year. It was enjoyable but I'd like a few more years' experience under my belt before attempting that trip again!

I attempted this year's trip after only 8 month's experience riding off-riding and it showed - I was really out of my depth. As Roger rightly says, the more you struggle and fall off, the more knackered you get, and I wasn't exactly bike-fit to start with :augie. On top of that, I was constantly relying on the experts to ride my bike out when I got stuck, which for them is twice the effort and a fecking pain in the Aris.

So, not for the inexperienced or unfit GS'er then:eek:
 
Guys, I have a good friend going down, he has hired a villa in Competa village and wants to do those difficult trails, he loves all that winching bikes and very difficult stuff.


He has asked if I could ask you for the tracks as KML-KMZ Files so he can Google Earth and go and do Death Valley, Divorce Hill and anything else cheers.

Steve

If poss send to me and I can pass on

steve&burbidges.co.uk
 
So, not for the inexperienced or unfit GS'er then:eek:

I wouldn't say that you need to be in the peak of physical condition - there were certainly some riders (like me) who, shall we say, conformed to the tosser standard of fitness!!

However, experience required = definitely yes!
 
I wouldn't say that you need to be in the peak of physical condition - there were certainly some riders who, shall we say, conformed to the tosser standard!!

Roger's comment about losing 3 stone cut me deep!

bawling.gif


I've now sacked my personal trainer. I've also gone on a beetroot diet and have lost 1½ stone.

I plan to be in the very peak of physical condition next October!

;)

Greg
 
Roger's comment about losing 3 stone cut me deep!

bawling.gif


I've now sacked my personal trainer. I've also gone on a beetroot diet and have lost 1½ stone.

I plan to be in the very peak of physical condition next October!

;)

Greg


i just plan to survive the first day and ride all week :augie
 
I can't be fecked to compile a DVD so I'm uploading the clips to YouTube.


Saturday 2 October:

Whilst the main party are sipping EasyJet champagne, Dave Emsley and I are hard at it recceing a few trails:

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Dashed down to the airport for a quick tounging from Mrs B

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Sunday 3 Oct - out on the first day's trails:

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Following Bakerlonglegs down the Stone Flume:

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Halfpint cruises up to the Monastry:

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Halfpint cruises up to the Monastry (Take 2):

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MrTickle cruises up on his paraffin-pisser:

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... and Timolgra:

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Then to wash off the dust before heading back to the villa!

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Monday 4th October - another easy day's ride ...

The first trail - just 500m from the villa:

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"It's easy from now on ...."

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Playing on the firebreak ... :nono

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Bakerlonglegs rides up the hill....

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... but has a crisis of confidence when it comes to the descent ...

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and we move on up the mountain ....

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Another firebreak is found - too steep for MrTickle!

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... but he slithers down OK

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... and with a bit more speed he makes it up!

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Roger makes it look easy ...

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The next trail should have taken us across the park. Last year we saw cars driving here but severe winter rain had totally changed the face of this trail:

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But we all get back in one piece for an excellent dinner prepared by Marie and Jenny

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Tuesday 5th October - getting into it ....

A road ride past Sedella takes us to this location:

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J-M (plenty of revs) first, then Pete:

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Andy's bike has a soft battery and he's suffering in the streambed ...

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Berin tries to disrupt the water supply to the village ...

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Andy has no problem with the waterpipe but can't get moving on the gradient:

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Roger is almost too quick up the gradient:

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Now the Wall of Death :eek:

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Recovering Pete's bike:

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Threading between the bank and the washout:

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Moving on:

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Up the naggery track:

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Wednesday 6th October

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Berin struggles on the Zig-Zag....

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.... but now heads for Clutch Plateau:

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Tim scatters the livestock:

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MrTickle follows:

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Andy and Roger:

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J-M and Pete:

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Timolgra further up the Zig-Zag:

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Tim! Tim! "Stay where you are, I'm coming" replies Timolgra

:blast

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Tim flies back down to the goat's aid:

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Roger:

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On the top road:

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God, it was hot!

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Back at the villa, bikes are repaired and fettled:

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Mousses but no lack of wind!

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Thursday 7 October

The ring of the stroker echoes around Valez Malaga:

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the Stone Flume:

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Top of the Stone Flume:

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Tim halfway up to the Monastry:

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Friday 8th October

One last run to the top of the mountain:

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.... and back ....

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