Interesting day. Yes, I got well stuck in the Lake of Death -:and I thank Chris for hauling me out.
We also discovered that my favouritist villa (by the radio mast) is mostly used as a porno film set.
The pool has long been contaminated with jizz and golden shower juice!
![]()

take the boy from the town but cant take the town out of the boy
![]()
Now at Malaga airport waiting for the BA courtesy plane to take me home.
It's been a cracking 5 days! Despite the absence of a few of the likely culprits, there has been much fun and even more piss-taking!
Lowlights were 4 punctures (2 to me and 2 to Graham Ross) and finn getting stranded in the woods of the second Lake-of-Death. We thought that he must have had a major off and we'd find his bike in a heap at the bottom of a drop with his corpse next to it. No such luck - he'd simply misfitted the fuel cap and kinked the breather tube.
Gary won the Tumble-of-the-Tour award for riding at unabated speed into a chain strung across the end of a trail.
Gary also won 2nd and 3rd places in the same category.
I was the sole entrant in the 'Ive got it well stuck' award - there were no other entries!
I also won 'Rental car with the flatest battery' award for its failure to start both yesterday and this morning.
Alex was an easy winner of the 'Most Improved Newcomer (under 21 category)'. Chris's entry in the same category was disqualified on all counts.
The clear highlight of the week was the thought of bandit swimming in a pool of used condoms, spunk and other bodily fluids.


and learn to drink more rum