No no... you have it all wrong what he meant to say was...
It all started when our protagonist, GS1200 Adventure, woke up in a bush. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling overwhelmingly stunned, GS1200 Adventure groped a salt shaker, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Without warning, he realized that his beloved R1150 GSA was missing! Immediately he called his friend, BMW. GS1200 Adventure had known BMW for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. BMW was unique. She was ingenious though sometimes a little... stupid. GS1200 Adventure called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.
BMW picked up to a very nervous GS1200 Adventure. BMW calmly assured him that most bunnies yawn before mating, yet koalas usually indiscriminately sigh *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting GS1200 Adventure. Why was BMW trying to distract GS1200 Adventure? Because she had snuck out from GS1200 Adventure's with the R1150 GSA only eight days prior. It was a enticing little R1150 GSA... how could she resist?
It didn't take long before GS1200 Adventure got back to the subject at hand: his R1150 GSA. BMW panicked. Relunctantly, BMW invited him over, assuring him they'd find the R1150 GSA. GS1200 Adventure grabbed his television and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, BMW realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the R1150 GSA and she had to do it aptly. She figured that if GS1200 Adventure took the truck, she had take at least two minutes before GS1200 Adventure would get there. But if he took the Motorbike? Then BMW would be overwhelmingly screwed.
Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, BMW was interrupted by five stupid wasserheads that were lured by her R1150 GSA. BMW belched; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling stunned, she randomly reached for her mitten and deftly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Motorbike rolling up. It was GS1200 Adventure.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of mittens, so he knew he was running late. With a quick leap, GS1200 Adventure was out of the Motorbike and went sassily jaunting toward BMW's front door. Meanwhile inside, BMW was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the R1150 GSA into a box of mittens and then slid the box behind her television. BMW was pleased but at least the R1150 GSA was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' BMW charismatically purred. With a mighty push, GS1200 Adventure opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish fiend in a Daewoo,' he lied. 'It's fine,' BMW assured him. GS1200 Adventure took a seat inside where BMW had hidden the R1150 GSA. BMW shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But GS1200 Adventure was distracted. Almost immediately, BMW noticed a pestering look on GS1200 Adventure's face. GS1200 Adventure slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
BMW felt a stabbing pain in her thigh when GS1200 Adventure asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the R1150 GSA right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A oafish look started to form on GS1200 Adventure's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's spoons from when she used to have pet bunnies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. GS1200 Adventure nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before BMW could react, GS1200 Adventure aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The R1150 GSA was plainly in view.
GS1200 Adventure stared at BMW for what what must've been four minutes. Subsequently, BMW groped indiscriminately in GS1200 Adventure's direction, clearly desperate. GS1200 Adventure grabbed the R1150 GSA and bolted for the door. It was locked. BMW let out a flamboyant chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, GS1200 Adventure,' she rebuked. BMW always had been a little oafish, so GS1200 Adventure knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before BMW did something crazy, like... start chucking butterknifes at her or something. Unexpectedly, he gripped his R1150 GSA tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
BMW looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from GS1200 Adventure. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for GS1200 Adventure. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. BMW walked over to the window and looked down. GS1200 Adventure was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, GS1200 Adventure was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind BMW's place. GS1200 Adventure had severely hurt his face during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral wasserheads suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the R1150 GSA. One by one they latched on to GS1200 Adventure. Already weakened from his injury, GS1200 Adventure yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of wasserheads running off with his R1150 GSA.
About six hours later, GS1200 Adventure awoke, his back throbbing. It was dark and GS1200 Adventure did not know where he was. Deep in the hazy desert, GS1200 Adventure was overwhelmingly lost. Rather abruptly, he remembered that his R1150 GSA was taken by the wasserheads. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a misshapen wasserhead emerged from the moor. It was the alpha wasserhead. GS1200 Adventure opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the wasserhead sunk its teeth into GS1200 Adventure's arm. With a faint groan, the life escaped from GS1200 Adventure's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than ten miles away, BMW was entombed by anguish over the loss of the R1150 GSA. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened fork. With a apt thrust, she buried it deeply into her thigh. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about GS1200 Adventure... wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the R1150 GSA that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant wasserheads, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
: barf: barf: barf. I put a pair of Maxxis tyres on a Deauville I owned. Very poor tyres, wore out in less than 4000 miles, and poor grip.
