Whilst reading Rambling Online this morning, I came across this.
I was summoned to the village hall to witness this horror film, currently being broadcast on computers throughout the land.
Frankly ... I'm appalled. If I had been rambling with my chocolate Labrador Stinky,, we would have had no means of escape from the onslaught of that noisy smelly motorcycle.
Stinky and I would have been killed or severely injured, and would probably have been left there in agony. As the rider had shown no consideration to the possibility of there being innocent ramblers on his 'track', he would probably not have the decency to phone for help.
We all pay our taxes to build tarmac roads for these abnoxious vehicles to use, in order to be left free to ramble the countryside in peace and quiet, and above-all, in safety.
The laneside berries, which I usually pick to make jam for the local Womens Guild, will now be poisoned by his lethal exhaust fumes.
Emily, my rival for the last 23 years will surely take the jam rosette this year at the guild craft fair.
I have reported this miscreant to the local constable, who says he will do anything within his power to bring this person to justice.
Having investigated we are reliably informed that the 'criminal' is a chap named Timothy Olgra. Probably a foreign chap, given his surname.
Samantha Wright-Cunningham.