AJ & C go looking for trouble... in Iberia & Morocco

[g00se]

I woke up one morning, after 3 years without a bike and decided enough was enough. So I sold the Lotus Elise and got something even more practical...

Enter one 2007 model 1200 GS:





Commuting to work is great, especially after a frustrating day. If I want some thrills I just drive into London on a morning and play dodgems with the Taxis, motorcycle couriers and pizza delivery boys... but that's not enough.

So one evening after a curry and a couple of beers I said to AJ "How about you get yourself a proper bike and we'll set off to North Africa for some adventure?"

He agreed and promptly put his monkey bike on the market...

In the end, after carefully considering his options, the only bike that AJ deemed he would 'look good' enough on was the F800 GS.




This weekend, after a couple of weeks of frantic online ordering of parts (who invented the Internet, because it rocks!) we set upon our rides in attempt to pimp them to a suitable level of technological proficiency required for this trip. We wanted Satnav, voice activated radios, music on the go and internet access...

No-one told me the 1200GS looked this good naked:




For those interested, Starcom unit placed under the seat where the toolset usually sits, Wouxun KG-UVD1P dual band radios (also under the seat) with throat mics and in-ear headphones, Biologic iPhone mount on the bars with USB power. Internet access courtesy of mifi hotspot for all our wireless pleasures.



Here's a closeup of where I got the USB power, using a spare plug reserved for GPS:



We spent the rest of the evening eating curry and scoping out routes. We'll take the ferry to Santander, then ride the coast through Portugal on to Tarifa, spend a week in Morocco and then back through Spain. While we have a list of preferred destinations, we'll stay flexible and go where vibe takes us.

So only 4 days to go till we ride for the ferry. Something tells me this will be good...

 

[MarkN]

Looking forward to reading the rest of the report.

I see you're prepping the bikes properly for a long ride, satnav, internet access, radios etc etc.

 

[g00se]

Surrey to Plymouth

I'm not sure why I accepted the black Sambucas from two guys in the pub we'd met the night before, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. At 06:30 in the morning however, I wasn't quite feeling my best and was cursing Patrick (a colleague from Philly) who'd suggested we go for 'one more pint', post dinner.

I heard the phone vibrating - it was AJ.

"On a scale of 1-10, 1 being 'oh dear' to 10 'oh ****!' where do you think 'bike won't start' is?"

It's at moments like this you think of the worst possible things it could be - I had images of broken valves and con-rods, melted ECUs and a week spent at the BMW service centre in my mind. Then I remembered that AJ had spent most of the week messing with the electrics.

"Does it turn over?" I said.

"No" - OK, so it sounds like a flat battery.

"Have you tried push starting it?", I said, not quite remembering that the BMW engine management computer doesn't co-operate with this type of activity. Still, it would keep him busy while the AA van turned up.

I went back to my packing. For some reason I'm never able to pack for anything the night before, but the fog in my mind hadn't quite cleared, making it harder to work out what I needed for two weeks biking to Morocco.

The phone buzzed again "This bike's quite heavy when you're trying to push it" - it was AJ, completely out of breath, "the AA man's arrived now, anyway".

Five minutes later he was up and running and I texted him to meet me at Fleet Services.

I was there in 10 minutes, so took a phot of myself to prove it...

AJ was taking his sweet time getting to Fleet, and I was having visions of him trapped under a dust cart, brewer's dray or milk float and having to explain this all to the family. Rather than fret, I decided to have a sausage bap and red bull. The breakfast of kings, I tell thee!

AJ arrived after 40 minutes, so without much fuss we set off. At this point we still hadn't got comms or satnav working properly, but we had a ferry to catch so didn't have any time to delay.

The weather was good, if a little cold, with clear blue sky's all the way to Plymouth.

A quick stop at Sparkford for a coffee and then Plymouth B&Q to pick up a Torx set and iPad camera adaptor and we were filtering through the early morning traffic of Guz, making for the port.

Driving through the centre brought back memories of great times in Plymouth and remembering just how many of it's inhabitants are on the dole...

Still, we got to check-in without losing anything from our luggage.

 

[Ash]

more more

 

[Popeye]

Nice pannier liner

 

[g00se]

Day 1 - Plymouth to Santander

It's not about the destination, it's the journey - someone once said - and this is no less true on a ferry.

Embarkation was pretty much pain free and we fretted over the bikes being laid up in a corner of the Pont Aven. They even supplied cushions to protect the seats.

We spent the rest of our time eying up the other machines going out to Spain. Good to see a few workmanlike bikes along with the 2011 spec GSAs...

So then it was up to the cabin to dump our stuff and get the iPads charging. You will all mock I know, but how else were we meant to get the rest of our planning done?

For those who haven't ventured on the ferry to Spain yet, I can say it's a great boat and the cabins are small but comfortable. It may be worth upgrading if you fancy stretching your legs.

The only downside I have to report is the clientele was distinctly bingo-hall come working man's club, with a healthy smattering of pointy-heads. And I haven't even got on to describing those with bikes.

Options for what to do are pretty limited, even when the weather is good. We considered drinking heavily from the off, but that's what everyone else was doing (apart from all the people in the queue for cigarettes).

So a film it was. The American, with George Clooney - nice location for a film, based in Sweden and northern Italy, but otherwise a bit rubbish. The body count wasn't high enough and the plot line wasn't that convincing. He also likes to shoot his girlfriends in the back, kind of like a Black-widow-reverse-gecko. In summary - don't bother.

We did dinner at 9, after a quick power nap. Food was pretty good but the wine selection was better. That's the French for you...

Of course we had to check out the bingo hall - I mean disco. A couple of beers in, we spotted someone who hadn't bothered to change out of their bike pants.

"So what are you riding?" we asked.

He was on a Norton Commando with a couple from Paignton going two up round Spain on a KTM. We shot the breeze talking about rotary engines for a while (AJ and I both owned RX7s at one time) while the KTM bloke was so drunk he kept asking us the same questions every five minutes. This wouldn't be so bad, but he revelled in taking the piss out of BMW riders each time!

They'd picked up a straggler that evening too, a lovely lady who was doing the rounds on the dance floor with a few different blokes. We chatted for a while about her chances with a 23 year-old Justin Timberlake look-alike, while I pretended to be gay.

This was the first time on our trip I was asked if I wanted some coke...

In case you were wondering dear reader, I politely declined saying, I once had a bad experience with snorting unleaded. Upon which Justin Timberlake reappeared and declared that he was about to "punch me out". I see now that he may have thought I was attempting to entrap this beautiful painted lady, sat beside me.

I protested my innocence, but he wasn't buying it - although somehow I managed to turn the situation around, getting him to state how he wasn't homophobic and actually had lots of friends that were gay. His mate even joined in with confession time, much to my amusement.

After seeing another fight starting in the corner, I felt it best to make it back to the cabin and get up refreshed in the morning.

The crossing was mill pond in nature and we slept like logs. A spot of yoga and some press-ups on the poop deck, followed by a quick coffee and croissant at the cafe in the morning, then some time spent planning the first few legs of our journey and splicing comms cables.

Half an hour before we were due to dock, we went up on deck to admire the view. Santander is a fantastic inlet, if you're into this sort of thing.

And even some big grey war canoes!

So there we were, we'd made it to Spain and all that stood between us and our adventure was a tank of fuel and getting rid of the tie downs from our bikes.

Oh, and sorting out the radios...

 

[g00se]

Day 2 - Santander to Salamanca

Our first day of riding in Spain took us through the northern hills.

OK, so I'll admit we did quite a bit of faffing at the filling station just outside of the ferry terminal.



We got the satnav working, even if the screens did auto-rotate every time we went round a corner. Comms were working to a fashion, although the throat mics couldn't really pick up sound when we were moving.

Still, this was only Spain, so what was the worst that could happen? In any case I'd agreed with AJ that if there were any problems, he'd give the international sign for persons in distress.

The ride through the mountains was fresh and a little blustery and we were still bedding in, in terms of riding. This meant a few stops to stretch the legs...



...and eat some Spanish pizza.



It was all going swimmingly until an hour before we arrived at Salamanca. The storm forecast for midnight hit us at about 19:30, almost blowing us off the road. I can also confirm that my BMW Rallye 3 jacket and trousers are NOT waterproof.

Satnav did a wonderful job getting us up to the door of our hotel, even if it did take us the wrong way up a one way street, not escaping the watchful eye of the local coppers. We apologised profusely and acted like the stupid English we were...

Even for a slightly damp Salamanca, it was all worth it.

 

[Ash]

more more

 

[g00se]

Day 3 - Salamanca to Lisbon

Sunday started off damp, overcast and cold - but we were heading for warmer climes...



After a fairly uneventful, yet stunning ride, we made it into Lisbon. Oh the joy of Satnav - it saves so much of the messing about you'd have to do if you were trying to navigate a capital city on your own.

The ride gave us plenty of time to sort out our comms, and I now had Vox activated push-to-talk! Our voice protocol was sharpening up, which gave AJ a chance to practice his 10-codes. (we hadn't got onto Q-codes by then)

We also learnt an important lesson - always remember to charge your radio! Still, not bad for three days use on a single charge, with use of the 4-watt channels...

As you can see, Lisbon did not disappoint.















By the time we'd finished wandering around, it was pretty late and I'd made AJ climb up to the Castelo after he'd specifically requested not to. But whichever deity he'd been praying to that day, it chose to reveal a great manna from heaven in the form of this other-worldly sight. A tandoori restaurant slap bang in the middle of the old part of Lisbon - probably a vestige of the crusades.



Oh, how we dined like Kings that evening...

 

[g00se]

Day 4 - Lisbon to Seville

The sky was still cloudy, but with a temperature around 18 degrees and forecast for it to brighten up. Our route to Seville looked a bit like this:



Staying at the Luxe hotel in the centre of town proved a good move, although there was only on-street parking. Amazingly the tickets we'd left on the bikes were still there in the morning.



The route proved to be pretty awesome and only got better once we crossed the border into Espania.









Of course there's always time for the obligatory bike porn shots...



The riding was mostly fuelled on coffee and donuts - and yes, I was monitoring the work CrackBerry...



The ride into Seville centre was incredible - we instantly fell in love with the buildings and the beautiful people. It seems Seville doesn't really have any bad parts - and the smell of the orange blossom was intoxicating. How do they get a city to smell this good?!?

To top it all of, we slipped the bikes into a cosy underground parking spot attached to the Hotel Seville Center, where we were staying.



Another successful day on the road, back in time for cocktails and medals...



For those of you who are into architectural porn, here are a few shots to indulge your vice...









Oranges - Seville has lots of these. Someone should tell them they could export them and make a bit of cash on the side, or maybe use them to make a preserve of some sort...

 

[g00se]

Seville

As was the case with Salamanca, Seville was packed with tapas bars. The Spanish can't get enough of the stuff - in reality I think it's just a thinly veiled attempt to make going out for 10 pints after work on a Tuesday evening more respectable.





And it was in this very bar that we stumbled across a random Dutch guy, who overheard us talking about Burning Man...



Apparently there's going to be a Burning Man in the Sierra Nevada this year.

We also brought up the subject of Rosskilda - so that's two events to add to the calendar for this year...

 

[g00se]

Day 5 - Seville to Tarifa



Our journey out of Seville started with a bit of a panic - oil was dripping from AJ's bike and causing a bit of smoke. Thankfully this merely turned out to be an overenthusiastic Scotoiler, but you can't be too careful with the BMWs...



Filling up with fuel and lunch, we saw Pedrosa's team truck. Couldn't help but pose for an obligatory shot.



A few kms past Algeciras and we stopped at our hotel, overlooking the straight of Gibralter. It was here we got a first look at Africa.



Tarifa is a great little town, especially if you're into kitesurfing. As it was off season, things were a little bit quiet, but a few kites were up. This time of the year I don't think there are any restrictions on where you can sail - but the water's pretty cold.

 

[g00se]

Day 6 - Tarifa to Casablanca



We went for a 10:00am ferry from Algeciras, as it would disembark at Tanger Med, meaning reduced messing about in Moroccan customs.



It appeared that these ferries ran to an approximate timetable, so we made ourselves comfortable and wished we'd stayed for breakfast at the hotel.



It was a dead calm crossing and we were one of about 30 passengers - this was clearly a great time to travel.



You could get your immigration paperwork sorted onboard, so AJ went first and returned in 10 minutes, will all the necessary stamps. I went next, while AJ looked after our things and waited in the queue. There was a Moroccan in front of me who started getting pretty agitated with the immigration official, who was dressed in a leather jacket like one of Quadaffi's agents.

Apparently this Moroccan's passport wasn't valid for some reason - but he was having none of it and started waving arms, thumping the table and raising fingers at the official. Now if there's one race with more Latin pride than the Italians, it must be the Arabs. The official got up from his desk, pulled out his handcuffs and started what can only be described as "cuff-whipping" the Moroccan. At this point his mates stepped in and tried to mediate - the Moroccan (who was all of 5-foot nothing) was still wanting a piece of the official, continued his tirade.

Being inches from the action, I found this all very amusing, but was also keen for a stamp in my passport. I was gutted I didn't have my iPhone on me at the time...

After 40 minutes, a coffee and croissant, we we arrived at Tanger Med. As you can see, it was basically us and a lorry in the hold.



Exiting the ferry, importing the vehicles and getting insurance was all pretty painless, bordering on highly organised for Morocco. The terminal, which was still being completed, looked well designed and even had a cashpoint in the Gare Maritime.



And it was blue skies and warm weather all the way...



After hustling past the outskirts of Casablanca, we arrived at the lovely Gite Nadia.

 

[Ash]

enjoying this.

 

[D Green]

Now i am hooked,more please

 

[Gazzabart]

v good

well done
really enjoying this
love the comical stuff
as i am not any good at reading loads of writing

 

[g00se]

Day 7 - Casablanca to Marakech



We left the bright lights of Casablanca behind us in a trail of dust and headed onwards to our real target of Marakesh and the desert.

While many fear driving on Moroccan roads, I can only describe the whole experience as fun, fun, fun!



My top tips for driving over here are:

1) Go slightly faster than the flow of traffic - a moving target is harder to hit.
2) Develop a good scanning technique and have one eye on satnav and tacho.
3) Use the force - Moroccan's can sense fear and can tell when you're lost. Ride with purpose.

Oh, and no gap is too small for a 1200GS...



AJ had found a hotel not far from the Medina, so after checking in at the pool we headed to Djemaa el Fna for a spot of scran.







We stopped at the the stall with the pusher we liked the most and ordered something that was unlikely to have been sitting there all evening.



and we also made a new friend...



Once we were properly fed and watered, AJ felt ready to tackle the Market and find himself a bargain. I gave him a few tips, but the most important of them all is knowing when to walk - which only comes with experience...



I got roped into a 2 for 1 deal for a genuine 'Berber' scarf. We were no longer travellers - we were adventurers!

 

[g00se]

Day 8 - Marakech to Agdz



As we came down for breakfast the whole hotel was a buzz with some sort of conference and film crew. We never did find out what it was all about...



Marakech was heading for a steady 35 degrees that day, so we made an earlyish start for the hills before it got too hot. I've driven this route in a car before, but the view is so much better on a bike...







A quick stop for some pondering on life...



Followed by a stop for lunch, deep in the heart of the Atlas mountains.



The views on the other side of the Atlas range were equally amazing.



A perfect setting for more bike porn...







The scenery inspired us to practises our river crossing technique...



And get a bit stuck - not for the first time...



The desert road was fantastic...



The satnav got a bit confused with the roads in Agdz and took us up a dead end with an amazing view.





Hidden right in the back of Agdz was the small yet beautiful Dar Laurli - time for some real Morocco..

 

[Edventure]

Great stuff

 

[Mr K]