Bitch minus 2. Yep. I said it. I’m counting. I held off as long as I could but there was going to be a riot otherwise.
Last night I made the mistake of going into a trendy coffee shop. You know the kind. Less is more. They do less that is and you pay a shit load more. I could see I wasn’t welcome immediately. Not their preferred brand of clientele. The barista looked like she had been in a piercing paintball fight and lost heavily. She also seemed to have a vijangle. I could hear her giblets jingling like a morris dancer as she wandered over to me. Face like an arse. That needed a good slapping. She served me a lukewarm warm cup of yesterdays coffee suds from the sink and charged me a weeks rent for it. Then proceeded to keep staring at me to leave. “Not until I’ve read a couple, let’s make that a couple of dozen chapters of my book love. Oh, and your giblets could do with a bit of WD40 when you have a moment”
Anyway, fuck that. Start today with a hot coffee and a delicious cake from the supermarket for a fraction of the price. And no annoying jingling either
. Take a long walk in the sunshine. I’ve shoved a couple of fisherman’s friends up my chuff to take my mind off all these FUCKING ANNOYING PEOPLE everywhere. I hope it works.
And you don’t get this in London. You see a lot of these Belarusian tractors.. by the way did you know Belarus is famous for its tractors? No? I knew a woman that went to Belarus to visit the factory. Yes I did. Sad but true
. Anyway they trundle round cleaning up the public spaces. Usually jetwashing the drunk’s chunder lumps and piss off the pavements and seats before anyone can slip over in it.
They tell you Russia has no money but everywhere seems to be being dug up, renovated and renewed. Perhaps all these blokes are doing it free and paying for the materials themselves. Maybe that’s the beauty of socialism.
Fuck it’s hot. As I amble along I begin to wonder. As I’m approximately 150m tall and have a one hundred hectare forehead perhaps I should offer it to the government as a site for a solar panel farm. Seems like a good idea. I’ll add it to my list.
There are a LOT of drunks in these streets. I saw a woman open the door of a supermarket today and chuck a huge bucket of water over one that was asleep on the shod step. The fucker never even flinched. Obviously a professional.
Still, there are plenty of other things to look at too.
Last night I made the mistake of going into a trendy coffee shop. You know the kind. Less is more. They do less that is and you pay a shit load more. I could see I wasn’t welcome immediately. Not their preferred brand of clientele. The barista looked like she had been in a piercing paintball fight and lost heavily. She also seemed to have a vijangle. I could hear her giblets jingling like a morris dancer as she wandered over to me. Face like an arse. That needed a good slapping. She served me a lukewarm warm cup of yesterdays coffee suds from the sink and charged me a weeks rent for it. Then proceeded to keep staring at me to leave. “Not until I’ve read a couple, let’s make that a couple of dozen chapters of my book love. Oh, and your giblets could do with a bit of WD40 when you have a moment”
Anyway, fuck that. Start today with a hot coffee and a delicious cake from the supermarket for a fraction of the price. And no annoying jingling either
. Take a long walk in the sunshine. I’ve shoved a couple of fisherman’s friends up my chuff to take my mind off all these FUCKING ANNOYING PEOPLE everywhere. I hope it works. And you don’t get this in London. You see a lot of these Belarusian tractors.. by the way did you know Belarus is famous for its tractors? No? I knew a woman that went to Belarus to visit the factory. Yes I did. Sad but true
. Anyway they trundle round cleaning up the public spaces. Usually jetwashing the drunk’s chunder lumps and piss off the pavements and seats before anyone can slip over in it.They tell you Russia has no money but everywhere seems to be being dug up, renovated and renewed. Perhaps all these blokes are doing it free and paying for the materials themselves. Maybe that’s the beauty of socialism.
Fuck it’s hot. As I amble along I begin to wonder. As I’m approximately 150m tall and have a one hundred hectare forehead perhaps I should offer it to the government as a site for a solar panel farm. Seems like a good idea. I’ll add it to my list.
There are a LOT of drunks in these streets. I saw a woman open the door of a supermarket today and chuck a huge bucket of water over one that was asleep on the shod step. The fucker never even flinched. Obviously a professional.
Still, there are plenty of other things to look at too.
has differient kinds of leaves, Russia simply employs a woman with a skinny brush to do it.
. I went for a scan yesterday and they said “congratulations, your food baby is developing nicely. We predict you’ll give birth to a large and healthy ICBM within the next 24 hours”. Something to look forward too
