An Englishman In Germany With Some Celts - A "Ride" Report

Deleted account W · Sep 10, 2008

Warning this ride report has virtually no pictures or tales involving riding but an awful lot of pictures of drunken Celts. Read on with this in mind

Jockgrim a small town in Southern Germany hold a festival every two years. Ronno's Mother and Father live in the town and Ronnie thought it would be nice if he invited a few friends down to spend the festival with them.

So last Thursday......

The Newcastle to Amsterdam ferry was the chosen method for crossing to the continent so I took the opportunity to revisit a place from my long lost sordid past, Whitley Bay. The old hotel was still there where I stopped for a year while drinking and working occasionally on a site in Jarrow.

I had a nice lunch of fish and chips then wandered up the coast in search of Chris Kelly. Being weekday lunchtime I naturally looked in his local boozers. Not here.....

Not here...

I gave up after this, he was obviously sleeping off a lunchtime session somewhere. I wandered down to Tynemouth to look at the boats then on to the port. We all managed to get on the boat before it sailed. A nice bright day....

As we sailed out on the Tyne we passed a rig in for a refit...

On the boat we ate well at the buffet, although Mandy's pudding scarred me a little....

They then brought on the dancing girls, I use the term girls loosely...

Ronno was very impressed....

We had a long day of riding the next day so took it easy on the drink, I'm sure I was in bed for one'ish but I strangely seem to have lost all memory of getting back to my cabin.

Stay tuned dear reader more to come........

:bounce1

GS TRV · Sep 10, 2008

any chance of seeing a bike?

Deleted account W · Sep 10, 2008

<o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" images="" smilies="" redface.gif="" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="3" class="inlineimg"></o:smarttagtype>Friday dawns.....
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DFS or whatever the ferry companies called deem it wise to get us down onto the car deck then let us wait half an hour before opening the bomb doors. The temperature level is akin to a Turkish bath and I perspire only like a fat lad can.....
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We all disembark together with Ronno leading, within a mile Ronno's heading North. I decide that South’s a better bet for getting to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Germany</st1:country-region> from <st1:city w:st="on"><st1

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In true schoolboy fashion the signs saying Ausfart on the autobahns make me giggle. This one even more so....
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I find H.R.H and Alte Wolfe in the hotel bar at teatime and after a beer or two the others arrive.
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Aidan keeps making gestures that I'm sure aren't going down well with the locals who are sampling a bit of Friday early doors...
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Ronno's parents arrive and we settle down for some dinner with his Dad at top of the table…..
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He drinks half pints of wine and soda which is usual for the locals here, the rest of us decide that beer and shots of Jagermaister are preferable...
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The bar runs out of Jagermaister, a theme that will keep returning this weekend. So schnapps is sampled. Ronno had to hold his hand up and announce defeat....
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And so to bed, tomorrow would be time to hit the festival.

:bounce1

Deleted account W · Sep 10, 2008

Italian Trev said:
any chance of seeing a bike?

Any chance that you haven't read the first sentence of the thread :blast

Uinneag · Sep 10, 2008

Whatton said:
Any chance that you haven't read the first sentence of the thread

Don't pay any attention to him Kev he's a clown :augie

Mr K · Sep 10, 2008

Sorry I missed you Kev....

:beerjug:

Deleted account W · Sep 10, 2008

Saturday creept upon us.<o

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I have a walk around the town in the morning a take a few pictures. It's old and pretty, the streets have all the stalls set up for the festival...<o

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Back at the hotel Ronno turns up to lead the rest of us on a tour of the local area. If you look closely this photo has a bike in it.<o

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The rest set off and leave me behind...<o

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I decide to have a nap. When I get up I bimble off to find the brewery of the local beer we were drinking last night. Unfortunately it isn't very photogenic but I do spot another schoolboy humour sign....<o

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At four with everyone back and clad in their glad rags we hit the festival...<o

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The barman at this stall decided that Ronno needed help with his schnapps and administered it to him personally...<o

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Kilts were beginning to swing....<o

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It seemed rude not to carry on with last nights efforts....<o

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Ronnie introduced us to some more members of his family, Captain Pugwash and his wife were none to impressed when he let rip with a schnapps fuelled air biscuit....<o

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We found another bar selling fruit; it came wrapped in schnapps which made it slightly more attractive...<o

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Robmack and his sword on the offensive....<o

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The sun went down and the moon came up.....<o

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Ronno had a bit of an accident in the Herren....<o

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....and ended up in the first aid tent with a nicely bandaged wrist. It was a mere formality and the night went on...<o

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H.R.H pulled using his stunning wit and repartee....<o

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Floyd found a Fanta lady to hold him up, he was getting a bit wobbly by this stage...<o

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His eyes focused momentarily and he realised that the Fanta Lady wasn't ideal for support so he stole Robmacks sword. We all agreed this was a wise move...<o

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Perhaps not as wise as originally thought....<o

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The night ended around four a.m for some of us, some went home alone others paired up...<o

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Blackal · Sep 10, 2008

Ronno thinks that an impromptu "Toronto Blessing" might heal his sair wrist :blast

Al

TERRY RYAN · Sep 10, 2008

lots of clowning around I see

onyack

H.R.H. Nashskye · Sep 10, 2008

I enjoyed that, what a laugh I had at the Orangina lady AND Robmack's legs!!!! He looks like he's wearing granny tights!!

Looked like a brilliant weekend, the Germans sure know how to party! :ronno

(RIP) MOTÖRHEAD · Sep 11, 2008

Whatton said:
Ronnie introduced us to some more members of his family, Captain Pugwash and his wife were none to impressed when he let rip with a schnapps fuelled air biscuit....<o></o>
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now that IS brilliant.
Great write up, but this caption with that photo has got me in stitches.
Are those what they call Sour kraut facial expressions?
F'kin hilarious :clap

Robbo1200ADV · Sep 11, 2008

MOTÖRHEAD said:
now that IS brilliant.
Great write up, but this caption with that photo has got me in stitches.
Are those what they call Sour kraut facial expressions?
F'kin hilarious

Me Too!! Been chuckling like an idiot!! :thumb2

Deleted account rno · Sep 11, 2008

Great stuff there, Kev.

One of those weekends that I wish I could remember :augie

GS TRV · Sep 11, 2008

Whatton said:
Any chance that you haven't read the first sentence of the thread

Ride Report usually involves a bike, at least round here :nenau

Tired of seeing all these ugly feckers

Deleted account W · Sep 11, 2008

Just found this video on my camera, it was shot at the point in the evening when Floyd suddenly became a fluent German speaker........

<object width="400" height="300"> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /> <param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1708634&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /> <embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1708634&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/1708634?pg=embed&sec=1708634">Floyd Sings german</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user587218?pg=embed&sec=1708634">Whatton</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com?pg=embed&sec=1708634">Vimeo</a>.

Steve · Sep 11, 2008

Whatton said:
Just found this video on my camera, it was shot at the point in the evening when Floyd suddenly became a fluent German speaker........

Sounds more like fluent Drunk to me....

judge · Sep 11, 2008

Aiden seemed to have got one of the German 'singers' to do that funny arm gesture that excited the locals - good work Aiden

sparkplug · Sep 11, 2008

Any good shots of the back of the T-shirts?

They look like they came out well...

Deleted account W · Sep 11, 2008

Sunday arrives in a blur.

While eating breakfast outside the hotel this bad ass biker rolls up. Seems we talked to him at the festival and he'd said he'd pop in to see us.....

It's a one off bike he built himself......

We take a ride up to the Teknik Museum at Speyer. It's huge and a great place for petrol heads. I forgot my camera and didn't get any pictures.

We wandered off to the festival again in the evening but it was a lot quieter and we found out that the Jagermaister had sold out of all its stock on Saturday, much to Gordons displeasure...

And so we settled for schnapps and beer again.

Monday, we said our farewells and myself, H.R.H, G.C and Robmack headed North to find somewhere to stop the night before getting to the ferry on Tuesday.

We found a nice old town called Kongswinter which was next to the Rhine.

It had nice old bars……

The little fellow shopped for hats……

He ran after trains….

And then he didn’t want to eat his dinner, even though it was off der kinder menu…

So we went off and had a few more schnapps and beers.

Tuesday found us stopping off in Arnham to look around the Airborne Museum. Worth a visit, lot’s to see inside and a few old bits of machinery outside too…

A touching thank you to the locals was placed outside too…

We had lunch in the “1st Airborne Pub” across the road which boasted two stunning waitresses and a decent food menu.

Then it was onto Amsterdam and the ferry….

Home on Wednesday after a nice smooth crossing.

All in all a great way to spend a few days. Excellent riding and drinking partners in a very friendly country.

Roll on the next Jockgrim Festival in two years time.

1825 miles well spent in my opinion

Mr K · Sep 11, 2008

I don't think I'd have enjoyed that....... :augie

An Englishman In Germany With Some Celts - A "Ride" Report

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