Any suggestions to sort out Mrs Dave's Mind

Dave78

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We seem to have hit a mental block with MrsDave getting back onto two wheels, she can ride - I've watched her and where she learnt says she's a good little rider (no laughing at the back), but she seems to have hit a mental block with it all.

The background to MrsDave's riding is as follows.

Completed her CBT over a number of days, as would get very tired very quickly. So better to make slow and stready progress than to rush it. But once this was passed we used to go out for little runs just gaining experience for her, and me there to keep an eye out and act as her wingman. So far so good.

Just after passing her CBT we were coming back from a little ride and a bird flew out the hedge and knocked her off balance going into a corner, such that she came off and went for a slide down the road at 50mph. Without all the kit on, I dread to think how much worse the outcome would have been. One trip in a ambulance later, and 8 months of recovery she was determed to get back on. Which she did, although it was lots of little and often. Including a weekend trip to see her parents (250 mile round trip over a weekend - on a 125)

She passed her Mod 1 and 2 just before her 2 years of CBT were up. To celebrate we went went away for the weekend (again her on the 125), on the way home at a break she just had come to her limit of what she could ride for the day. I blame finding an attempted theft of our bikes just prior to us setting off on the return trip freaking us both out a bit, and a few close calls with car drivers being idiots. No huge problem as I came home, only about an hour or so from home, took the car and we got her bike back.

She got a F650GS as her first big bike, and almost as soon as she got that, her knee started to give her grief - the knee that took the impact when she came off on her 125. Fast forward a few months and it was being operated on, then 12-18 months of recovery time and it's almost as good as new.

Now we are trying to get back onto the bike, but she seems to have hit this mental block. We know she can ride, around the local trading estate on a sunday morning, she can ride around and around the block without any issues. Same when she's at the training school grounds. Around the block to home she can ride. I've taken her pillion on her bike, so she can get used to been on two wheels again, and get used to two wheels at speed (well more than 30mph). She's enjoying being pillion, apart from on a very wet and windy motorway the other day (but then who enjoys wet and windy motorways anyway) But any suggestion of going further afield, even just a few miles down the road she goes into like a panic mode, says she can't ride, she's no good at it etc, but she wants to do it. She know's it's not logical, which in itself is annoying her. And she says that she wants to do more than just ride round the block, but can't work out how to stop the panic to actually ride, if that makes sense.

Anyone got any ideas how to get her over this block?
 
Don't take this the wrong way (:D) but would it help if Mrs Dave went out with somebody completely independent of you? So there's no 'family' there's no hubby or relative or whatever, and it's just her, and a professional.

That way, it makes it professional. It makes it ...... (Mmmmm what am i trying to say .... ) formal, different mindset, expert help ...

Know what I mean ??
 
Don't take this the wrong way (:D) but would it help if Mrs Dave went out with somebody completely independent of you? So there's no 'family' there's no hubby or relative or whatever, and it's just her, and a professional.

That way, it makes it professional. It makes it ...... (Mmmmm what am i trying to say .... ) formal, different mindset, expert help ...

Know what I mean ??

I think that's a very good idea Giles. A friend of mine who had recently passed her test got a fright ( can't remember the circumstances) & was petrified to get back on her bike. She was at our house at that point 300mls from home. I knew a police class 1 instructor who trained riders - he took her out for an afternoon's training & the fact she trusted his professional know-how meant she had the confidence to follow his instructions. The next day she rode her bike 300 miles home & is still riding 15yrs later.
Not an easy problem to solve really Dave but I think Gile's suggestion might be the way forward.
All the best
Marjie
 
As a 'job', unlocking the reason why someone 'cannot' ride is far more difficult and challenging than straight forward teaching to ride.

So although I agree with Gile's suggestion wholeheartedly, I'd suggest finding the right instructor who deals with similar 'issues' on an almost daily basis.
Mike (Lord Snooty on this forum) isn't too far from you, perhaps he'll see this or drop him a PM.

I'd also consider a few other points:

F650? Perhaps to big and heavy for her, depending which model they're also not the best bike to inspire confidence at low speed.

The more mature woman has a much greater 'survival' instinct than a young lad and as such she'll require much more courage which may be difficult or very likely, impossible to realistically reach.

Who is she learning to ride for? You or herself?
What are both your expectations?
Are you really happy that she's riding a bike at all????

Will it be a big relief for you both if the pressure's off and you can enjoying your motorcycling together if she just rides pillion?

More questions than answers at this stage mate:beerjug:

I completed a CBT in just one day for a 61 yr old woman last week who'd never ridden before, I'm not sure who was more wrecked by the end of it, me or her:D
 
Timolgra is right, you not only need an instructor that deals with this regularly, you need one that has a great radio coaching manner, just to throw another name in the ring for you, Advancedbiker of this parish is excellent also, I know he has been coaching an amputee get back in to bikes and a guy that had a nasty race smash, as well as several guys and girls that needed a bit of a confidence boost.


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