A couple of points from a regular ET traveller:
The two-hour window has been explained. Even if you're outside this window, you may well get away with paying the difference between the price you've already paid and the price for the departure you want to get, but this will still be less than the 'turn-up-and-pay' price. Aternatively, they may try and charge you the whole lot. One of the problems is the inconsistency - it will depend on whether it's busy or not, but also seems to depend on other things, things that no-one will tell you about - astrological conditions, whether the Perigord truffles are early this year, or how Paris-St-Germain did at the weekend, perhaps.
Sneaking through on a crossing earlier than your letter: this can work although at Coquelles they almost always have someone checking your hanger at the roundabout after check-in and controls. On a bike, I think they are less likely to make a fuss - you can usually squeeze another bike on without too much trouble. Also, load sof bikes struggle to display a hanger and soem attendants will not be bothered to check. HOWEVER - the risk you take is that your hanger will be checked or spotted (I don't mean this will be the pattern on your hanger - either a nice houndstooth check, or a polka-dot design - I mean someone will check it or someone will spot it
) as you enter the departure lanes (in the little booth that bikes are directed past) or the loader at the next barrier. They may then keep you there until your allocated departure. There is nothing much to do there - at least if you're held back at the terminal building you can go and sit soemwhere warm and dry and get some proper coffee and food. Again, this is less likely at quieter times, but then at quieter times you'd probably have been given the earlier departure in the first place.
We are fast approching the times of year when overall passenger numbers drop off considerably. However, popular crossigns will still be busy - notably returning to the UK on Sunday afternoons/evenings.
For a one-way trip, it is cheaper to book a day return than a simple one-way ticket. Crazy. They reserve the right to charge you the difference between the cheap day return and the one-way ticket price if you don't use the reutrn portion of your ticket the same day. I know several people laugh in the face of this rule and have never been charged, but I also know some who HAVE been charged. They have your credit card number and your authorisation (buried in the terms and conditions somewhere, but there nonetheless). Again, you take your chances, it would seem.
Inconsistency continues on the train in terms of how to park your bike. Usually parked pointing left on the sidestand with the front wheel against the metal kerb. Some staff will become apopletctic if your rear wheel is on the metal guttering between the car wheeltracks, others will insist you do this. I think that MIGHT have something to do with whether you're on the double decker or single decker carriages, something over which you will have no choice at all. On other occasions, I have been instructed to just park in two rows behind the cars. This little bit of unknown always adds to the (minor) excitement of the trip.
I have NEVER heard of bikes falling over, but last weekend the train i was on did some quite hard braking in the tunnel and the bikes wobbled more than I have ever seen them wobble before. I like to stand near the bike so if it does topple over, I can get trapped beneath it. Sorry, I mean I can stop it tipping over. The jolting is usually worse at the beginning and end of the trip, but "jolting" is something of an exaggeration it - it is usually very smooth. As the other four bikes were Ducatis with spring-loaded sidestands, we all laughed that even though the bikes might not topple over, they might stand up enough to allow the sidestands to spring up, then fall over backwards.
I might write to Eurotunnel and ask them how and why bikes should be loaded. If I get a response, I'll share it on here.
Remember, the UK Border Force at Coquelles are working hard to serve you and their country. They are modern-day unsung heroes, and should be afforded every courtesy and respect.
