Picture the scene-cold, wet day, row of deserted garages, 1150GS with idiot kneeling beside it in a pool of petrol with a freezing cold thumb over the end of a fuel pipe, hoping none of the local chavs saunter up with a fag on to see what I'm doing. And how did I come to be in this hopeless situation? I replaced the battery, that's all. Stupidly, I thought I'd undo the quick release fuel connections to give me a bit more room to lift the tank, and ensure all connections were good, etc. Fast forward to re-connecting the fuel connections-Insert white plastic bit into first joint, , this should just click, I thought. No such luck-fuel pissing everywhere. I'm alone, there's nobody about, and I've got my thumb over the end of the pipe. I couldn't get the joint together-I managed to grab a petrol can and let some drain into it, but once that was full, I had no option other than to wheel the bike to a nearby drain and let it flow. Once it had stopped, I still couldn't get either connector back together, and the white plastic bit snapped off one of them. How the fuck do these things go back together? The metal clip moves o.k, but what is the sprung pin for? I've been suspicious of these connections for a while, ever since my lovely silver engine became stained yellow by what appeared to be dog with a particularly nasty urine infection. I assume this was petrol, and the stain is permanent. The stupid pinched fuel hose clamps make getting them off far more difficult than it needs to be. So I still have a non-running bike
. Advice, please, all! As an aside, while the battery was disconnected, I thought I'd fit a jump start post to the starter motor. Simply remove cover, attach to positive terminal, drill hole, job done! Yeah, right. Not if you've got crash bars. And how do you tell where to drill the hole in the cover? There was no template supplied. Bollox!!!!