Ride report...Proper....

[Deleted account 230523001]

...This is on bikes and to Italy/France via some large pointy mountains and stuff....

So me and Nick wanted to get away from all the shite of humdrum, so we decided on a quick weeks blast down to Monaco.
We booked ferry and decided on a place to meet nearby to Dover......We cocked this up, both waiting in different places

I decided after half an hour, I would get on the ferry and go by myself, only to see nick at a different petrol station, waiting patiently

We went to the trminal, we had missed the intended rust bucket, so ended up on another one.

Bike strapped down and ready for the off...

I remember going straight into the cafe on the boat and saw a chap who had just got off a GS1200..I asked him if he was a Tosser and his actual reply was "No, I have a Harley as well"
That set the scene really
Brekkie consumed and Nick asked where we was going, I just said South, via some high bits and there might be some snow, but it would be OK as the sun would be out and it would be hot in the valleys...I had no idea really, it was his first time touring on a bike in Europe, I had done it a few times and knew the roads, within a bit
So off the ferry and into France and stopped here.....Absolute no idea where, but it was a few hours and a couple or three hundred miles south and across a bit.....

There was pussy....

It was obviously French...

Next day we had rain, all day and ended up here....

Dried boots out in hotel room with the use of wall lights...

I remember drinking lots, but boots were dry in the morning

We carried on South and across a bit, heading for the pointy bits and saw marvellous sights...

We stopped here for some tucker...

I think this is Nick..

We stopped here, just to see how cold it really was...It was fooking cold for July....

Then we stopped here, just to check if it was really as cold...

I remember it sleeting here...The bastard...

Anyways we kept on going until here.....

We stayed here, we had got there earlish afternoon and were greeted by a load(8-10) Swiss bikers on thier annual pilgrimage to drunken debauchary They got us a drink in as soon as we arrived.....We then joined the 'round' we all took the piss out of each other for several hours and became good friends.
We went out to eat and returned to more drinking at the Hotel
It transpired that these guys stay in the hotel every year and had being doing so for 10 years or so...The Hotel was owned by an elderly lady who knew them well and at 8:30 that night, she gave them the keys to the Hotel and the run of the bar It was on......Proper drinking and piss taking ensued until the early hours I have no recollection of retiring to bed, but I do remember waking........Farking Hellllllllllll.....I was too pissed to ride, but we had to, the South of France and Italy beckoned...

 

[Toad]

Keep this up and we'll have a craker on our hands

 

[Duchess]

I'm waiting for the next chapter att .... come on, where is it

 

[Deleted account 230523001]

I'm waiting for the next chapter att .... come on, where is it

Trying to find my piccies is like trying to remember where I have been
I found some of the girls on the beach, but they just come across as being a bit pervy

 

[earthmover]

I found some of the girls on the beach, but they just come across as being a bit pervy

You say that as though it's some sort of problem?
Mark

 

[Ravenbyrne]

Trying to find my piccies is like trying to remember where I have been
I found some of the girls on the beach, but they just come across as being a bit pervy

Let us be the Judge of that

 

[Deleted account 230523001]

OK..

 

[Rushy]

I don't think much of the two that you and Nick have chosen to chat up.......

 

[dakarDude]

Keep 'em coming Att!

 

[Deleted account 230523001]

Where was I.....

.....Quite a pertinant question really
I was in this lovely hotel, the veiw out the back was just amazing, serene, Alpine and all sorts of other adjectives that were wasted on myself, because I was still wasted.
Nick and I sat out the back eating breakfast with lot`s of black coffee, contemplating the days ride and where we were going, when Nick spotted the unusual decor streaming from the windo of the room that I had occupied......Yes, I had tried to die the whitewash red I don`t remember much, but I must have finished with red wine, the evidence was dripping down the wall for all to see I don`t even remember puking out of the window.....We made a nice pleasant, if somewhat hurried exit and carried on riding through the Alps.....

We eventually made it down to Ventimigllia on the Italian side of the Med and found a decent hotel.
On the way down from the mountains we were followed by two Italian police motorcyclists and we gave it the beans......They gave us the thumbs up and we had a good old spirited ride into VM..They left us at a set of traffic lights with thumbs and big smiles......I had warped the front disc on the Buell

Next day we decided to ride into Monaco....

And in the car park at the harbour, spotted this little beauty...

No idea what it was, but some googling found it to be a custom made vehicle for those with wealth....

We the went round the harbour and got chatting to the boat captains and crew and were able to identify the owners of some of the larger yachts in town.....

This was pretty cool and added to my want list...

As was this...

Then we headed back to the hotel and went out for the night to chill and take in the atmos. of VM.
Very family orientated and a very pleasant place to be, unfortunately I now understand that the place is full of African refugees wanting to flee into france.....Those Africans certainly know how to fuk up a decent place

Anyways, next day we went to local beaches to admire the wildlife...

Next day we headed back via the Route Napoleon.......Sweet ride with lovely blue lakes en route....

The piccies sort of disappear at this point, mostly because of alcohol and a bit of spivving.....

I can`t tell you where we were....Literally, but we stopped at a place, booked into a Hotel and discovered a brilliant bar that was for sale...Well, with Nick being a brilliant salesman and me being a natural bullshitter, we were buyinig the place We had the tour, swapped bullshit and free drinks ensued and a late bar We had food too!
We were feeling pissed in the morning still...Well you would on only three hours kip.....This was the day I nearly ran into the back of a Gendarmarie van, full of Gend...Gendarm......Coppers in France Misjudged the overtake at 60 - 70, still quite pissed.....It was close call, but still here
Anyways, we stopped off at a hotel that was full on the way down, owned by an English couple....We had a nice meal, cooked by a French Chef and proceeded into town into the nightclub/late bar/ whatever...

.....Apparently, I declared my undying love for a French bird.....Danced a lot, tried to convert some lesbians and Nick made sure I got back to the hotel Good mate and still is

The final leg saw us tearing through the French countryside, I knew where I was going, sort of and speed was not a problem, until we went out the other side of a nice sleepy village....There he was, radar on the roof, there I was, doing 100-110 MPH, I saw him hurriedly throw his cigarette down, sweep the stuff off the roof of his car, so I gave it all it had, then saw a lay-by and thought "Fukk it, I may as well give it up" Fair cop an all that....I tried to slow Nick down with large sweeps of my arms and he pulled into the lay-by asking "whats-up" I asked him if he had seen the copper with the radar stuff and he said "yes, looked like he was setting it up".....So I said " right, lets fook off then"...And we did, all the way to Calais and the ferry....

We had a brilliant time, made some really good friends, embarrassed ourselves, broke the law and saw truly inspirational sights.....But more importantly, we met some really weird people who were the most interesting.

 

[Deleted account 230523001]

Oh yeah, nearly forgot......Miles covered - fook knows
MPG - Who cares

I measure my travels on people met, amount of times pissed and breathtaking scenery with a healthy mixture of heart stopping moments and not being organised

 

[Deleted account W]

I measure my travels on people met, amount of times pissed and breathtaking scenery with a healthy mixture of heart stopping moments and not being organised

Fecking hell, you're Ted Simons long lost son son aren't you?

 

[Davel]

Brilliant!

 

[Buz]

Thanks for that one att, very entertaining

 

[Frequentflyer]

Excellent-great report- life as it should be