Scottish Road Trip Planning Tool

[wully]

Due to the number of requests for route planning tips on here recently and the hurt feelings of a few wee greeting faced softies at the response they got, I've put together this route planner.
It's only in beta form so far and may have a few glitches but I'll iron them out as we go.

(The programme is written on the assumption you're coming from englandshire and don't have sat nav in case you couldn't work that out)





Here it is:


Go to 'Glasgow' it's well sign posted so you'll have no problems finding it- this will be the last sign post you'll need so don't worry about it too much.

Keep heading west until your front wheel gets wet. (Note- it does rain in Scotland from time to time so check it isn't raining before proceeding)
Once you have a wet front wheel-check to see if the water is salty, if it is turn RIGHT.If it's not salty you are in a puddle,loch or river. Keep going until you find the salty stuff.Then turn RIGHT

Keep going- keeping the salty water to your LEFT. If you get lost in the middle then it's easy to find your way back to the route by simply keeping going until you hit salt water again- then turn RIGHT.

Once you pass the signs saying ' england' then proceed home.

Remember to post a Ride Report to let us know how you get on

 

[Deleted User O]

Remember to post a Ride Report to let us know how you get on

That's whats lacking Wully ye gie them aw the information then aw ye get in return is a weather forecast

 

[(RIP) Nakambale]

Found a bug in your programme Where's west ?

 

[neil 23]

Due to the number of requests for route planning tips on here recently and the hurt feelings of a few wee greeting faced softies at the response they got, I've put together this route planner.
It's only in beta form so far and may have a few glitches but I'll iron them out as we go.

(The programme is written on the assumption you're coming from englandshire and don't have sat nav in case you couldn't work that out)





Here it is:


Go to 'Glasgow' it's well sign posted so you'll have no problems finding it- this will be the last sign post you'll need so don't worry about it too much.

Keep heading west until your front wheel gets wet. (Note- it does rain in Scotland from time to time so check it isn't raining before proceeding)
Once you have a wet front wheel-check to see if the water is salty, if it is turn RIGHT.If it's not salty you are in a puddle,loch or river. Keep going until you find the salty stuff.Then turn RIGHT

Keep going- keeping the salty water to your LEFT. If you get lost in the middle then it's easy to find your way back to the route by simply keeping going until you hit salt water again- then turn RIGHT.

Once you pass the signs saying ' england' then proceed home.

Remember to post a Ride Report to let us know how you get on

Good advice, I"ve actually done that trip several times, you cant go wrong !

 

[thauma]

(The programme is written on the assumption you're coming from englandshire and don't have sat nav in case you couldn't work that out)

Here it is:


Go to 'Glasgow' it's well sign posted so you'll have no problems finding it- this will be the last sign post you'll need so don't worry about it too much.

Bollox - the program is crap, there's no sign for glasgow within 20 mile of here.

I guess that's what you get for believing in open-source, shareware crap.

must have been written by a Tosser

 

[Schtum]

Bollox - the program is crap, there's no sign for glasgow within 20 mile of here.

I guess that's what you get for believing in open-source, shareware crap.

must have been written by a Tosser

I think that the parameters of the program only extend to the border with England; the underlying presumption being that you are capable of navigating within the confines of Albion's flat and featureless plain.

HTH

 

[Mr K]

I think that the parameters of the program only extend to the border with England; the underlying presumption being that you are capable of navigating within the confines of Albion's flat and featureless plain.

HTH

You better not be talking about Northumberland there!

 

[thauma]

I think that the parameters of the program only extend to the border with England; the underlying presumption being that you are capable of navigating within the confines of Albion's flat and featureless plain.

HTH

Born in the feature-full Kingdom of Northumbria, currently in the deep South performing Missionary work, and any presumption of capability should be discounted - most definitely not capable according to SWMBO

 

[Jazbee]

Born in the feature-full Kingdom of Northumbria, currently in the deep South performing Missionary work, and any presumption of capability should be discounted - most definitely not capable according to SWMBO

I agree, Northumbria is much too good a place to be in England, time it was annexed back to where it belongs Mr K, drag that wall down a bit with your van in the morn

 

[wully]

Where's west ?

Opposite where you are

Gein doon the Boolie, get yer sell a cappie and face the weet.

Turn richt roon.

Thons west.

 

[wully]

must have been written by a Tosser

Wiz

 

[thauma]

I agree, Northumbria is much too good a place to be in England, time it was annexed back to where it belongs Mr K, drag that wall down a bit with your van in the morn

Actually the wall runs from Wallsend (Newcastle) to Silloth (Cumbria), so by definition we are on the right side of the wall. If you move it any further south then you'll be letting the undesirables in or worse still - the Machams !!!

Just off to get my coat

 

[roddy]

thats just slightly modified instructions straight out the NASCAR training manual.

Go fast
Turn left
keep doing till the end

 

[alistairl]

Where's the bit about stopping overnight on the way? Everyone has to stay overnight at Carlisle as Scottishland is so far away that one cannot travel from Englandshire without a stay before the border crossing.

 

[boatman]

aye wul but whit happens when they get lost ??????

 

[Klanky]

RTFM!!! Point bars straight ahead. When wet, turn right again (don't forget to ensure it's saltwater).

It's a self-correcting course, oor Wully's not a daftie y'know.

Wully, could you write a set of guides for anyone wanting to do it the other way round...before some feckwit asks.....

 

[wully]

Wully, could you write a set of guides for anyone wanting to do it the other way round...before some feckwit asks.....

Naw - if some stuemer waants tae go the wrang wi' then they jist need tae haud their 'puter up tae the mirror

 

[bhud]

Nice one Wully.


I travelled up from Oxford on Saturday it was simple head for the sun, as I got closer to home kept the salty on the right bingo 10 hours later I was home.
Didnt need to stop as I got a rest by Lancaster waiting for twats trying to jump the que.