The Tech 8 Tour

[Mutley]

It's been a few years since Bounce and I have been away for a week on the bikes. Circumstances lead to excuses and women lead to lack of time and money. Consequently we were both really looking forward to a great trip, the problem was where to go?

In the past, when I was working for Campari Group and could get us free VIP access, we always used to take in a MotoGP round, but now we are on GSAs we thought we'd stretch our legs a little and go further. Having read Whatton's Van Miguel tour thread Croatia looked like a decent destination, we'd both been there before but not for many years. What we did know was the roads looked cool, the weather looked hot and the women looked naked

So destination set (vaguely) the plan was not to really plan but to use technology to make this the best bike holiday ever.

The tech (see what I did there? ) we were taking was as follows:

Bounce

• R1200 GSA
• Zumo 550
• Blackberry
• iPod Touch
• Panasonic Lumix T27
• Electric Toothbrush

Mutley

• R1150 GSA
• Zumo 660
• iPhone 4
• iPad
• Kindle
• Electric Toothbrush
• Lumix T27

We also borrowed a pair of Scala Rider G4 headsets for blue tooth bike to bike communication.

 

[Mutley]

Day 1 (Friday) - 215 miles

The best laid plans of mice and men eh?

Typically the sh1t hits the fan at work just as I thought I could have POETS day

So I leave for Chez Bouncer at around 16.30 and ride into the teeth of the M42 / M40 rush hour and a torrential downpour. I finally arrive bedraggled, cold and hungry at about 20.00 hrs and I'm welcomed with a beer.

We tuck into a pizza and fine bottle of Pouilly-Fuisse (which Bounce had blagged from a customer) before settling down to set up the Scala Rider kits.

Setting these things up was really straight forward and worked really well (the first time, but more of that later ). The volume appeared spot on and the sound quality was clear as well. All the same we'd had a bad experience with an earlier radio bike to bike and I wasn't terribly enthusiastic.

Still, off to bed, early start tomorrow

 

[Mutley]

Day 2 (Saturday) - 518 miles

We get up early and luckily the rain has stopped. Loading up the bikes we set off for the Chunnel, unfortunately we hit a problem with the Scala Rider intercom. I've tried to bluetooth connect my Sat Nav and then play music and directions through it as well as bike to bike. Our initial enthusiasm is dampened by an ominous sign at the Chunnel entrance and a lack of comms.

Still, nothing can keep a good man down and we begin to get a bit

Luckily this is the last time we see Bounce's ridiculous helmet liner

So we fiddle with the Scala pairing before heading for the train

The only thing that is a bit of a pain is they keep you waiting until all the cars are on, even the late comers, then they load you. All well and good in decent weather but a real pain when it's tipping down. Luckily the sun shines on the righteous today

Once across we set the sat nav for fastest route including peage and motorway and head for a little town called Suggental. Bounce's OCD has not allowed him to just roll off the train with nothing booked and, when he found Freiberg to be fully booked, he cracked and went on Expedia to find a room.

We head for Strasbourg, then we get off onto increasingly interesting roads. Lunch was a traditional baguette and frites at the road side

and at this point we notice I have collected a fairly hefty friend

We arrive at Hotel Suggenbad around 18.30 pretty knackered and fairly thirsty, so we check in (and are given a free garage ) then head for the beer garden

There appears to be a family party going on and there are a number of young ladies and MILFs in the beer garden in little black dresses, so we stay for a couple of beers

Unfortunately we stink so we head for the showers

Taking some advice from the waiter we head into town for food, this turns out to be a 4km hike

So after a few reviving beers and a couple of pepper steaks and frites we get a taxi back

and hit the sack

 

[Mutley]

Day 3 (Sunday) - 250 miles

We had been sent a good route into Croatia from the Grossglockner area by Mr. Ifan and we wanted to pick that up, however we also wanted to ride some good roads in the black forest and have some fun after a long day yesterday.

Over breakfast we got on line with the iPad and looked at Google Maps to see interesting roads and waypoints. The first place we decided to use was Memmingen (not that we had any idea what it was like ) then the start of Mr. Ifan's route.

We re-set the preferences on the sat navs to avoid motorway / autobahn, toll roads and U turns then asked for the fastest route including the two way points we'd selected. That looked cool so we set off.

We found some great roads to ride

and Bounce liked the Black Forest

and after about 130 miles of sheer lunacy, hairpins and laughing we arrived at Memmingen. As you can see, it's quite nice

We had some lunch

and we admired the kids pedal cars

The people were lovely and we were approached by a German family who had just driven back from Eastbourne. Clearly they had come to see what the previous generation hadn't managed ( ). They wondered why we didn't just stay in Bavaria, and they did have a point

However last night's beer and pepper steak was making itself so well known they'd erected a sign

So we set off intending to get to Austria for tea. Using the same sat nav settings we rode some of the most amazing empty roads, finished like a racetrack and through the most amazing countryside. Not as spetacular as the mountains but really pretty.

Being Sunday it seemed that loads of people put on traditional clothing to go to church. Here's one village we rode through

however the local guesthouse had a disturbing name and, not wishing to be anally probed, we moved on

Stopping for fuel Bounce pulled one of the locals. He's such a babe magnet :cool

The traffic built up around 17.30 and our pace slowed. The mountains on our right were wreathed in ominous cloud and we felt some spots of rain. We decided we'd stop early and pulled into a village called Brannenburg.

We found a Gasthaus and booked a room, again we were given a free garage.

We got our stuff up to the room and by the time we'd showered we were glad we'd stopped early. The view went from this:

To this in minutes

It seemed we'd dropped on lucky as the food was great

So we tucked into a few The locals all turned up in lederhosen and proceeded to get and sing songs. We watched four of them stagger out and get in a Mercedes and drive off - lesson to learn, don't ride late on a Sunday in Bavaria

On the way to bed we admired the interior decorating

The night lights were a bit disturbing

You see that beaver?

I have observed it, yes.

That's your cum face that is

 

[Mide]

Very good so far!! Keep it coming

We're off to Black Forest in 10 sleeps

 

[jonny5859]

You see that beaver?

I have observed it, yes.

That's your cum face that is

lol this is great, nice write up

 

[Bounce]

Nicely written so far Mutters , aside from me being the butt of all the jokes thus far ....bar steward....

However, once you set the preferences on the sat nav's....jesus, the roads that we found were not just empty, but as smooth as a pool table, and clearly designed by a biker, cos they were magnificent!!!!

You also get to experience more of a country's culture, riding thru small villages & towns, and sampling the local customs....(ah, customs...more of that later...)

PS - Memmingen looks like a superb town, and well worth an explore...

 

[(RIP) andrewgsadv]

Really enjoying this trip write up and photography. Had to change me incontinence pants following the beaver shot and gag. Good on you both.

More More More.

 

[Bounce]

Luckily this is the last time we see Bounce's ridiculous helmet liner

Pity that....hadn't even left the UK!!!

"I am a mime......."

 

[donnie]

very funny

 

[andy gee]

Hmm...More Please

 

[Mutley]

Day 4 (Monday) - 350 Miles

The next day saw the roads still damp but the rain had stopped. We had a 'cracking' breakfast served by a MILF in traditional costume

We set off for the Grossglockner but the clouds still looked a little worrying. Despite this we had a cracking ride

95 miles later we realised that we hadn't made it into Austria last night but we were pretty awestruck by the view

Bounce wasn't convinced he wanted to pay 19 Euros to ride the pass

but I convinced him and we were soon off to hairpin heaven. I think he enjoyed it

The highest point on the pass is reached by this road. The cobbles were worrying on the way up, but a cloud passed while we were up there and they were a bit slick on the way down

We were struck by how friendly they all were around there, and how much they wanted biker's custom. This was the cafe at the top of the highest point

Having said that the German bikers at the top didn't believe we'd only left the U.K. on Saturday

We then had a ball riding across the pass and up to the glacier itself. I did a degree in geomorphology and began to describe all the processes going on

which I think was a bit much for my mate

I forgot to mention that I'd managed to delete Mr. Ifan's route into Croatia so we then set the satnav using our usual settings for Rovinj and set off. We started really well heading into Italy over some fantastic passes and then we descended towards Trieste.

This is where things started to go a little astray. The traffic built up as fast and suddenly we were sitting in 38 degree heat surrounded by belching lorry fumes

We decided we'd stop for fuel then get back on the motorway until we reached Croatia so we stopped for petrol and drinks at the next garage. As we re-set the preferences on the sat nav at about 16.00 I received a text from the Whattons saying they were in a village called Selce if we fancied a drink. It was 3 hours by fast road so we thought 'sod it, we'll be there by 7' and set off

We flashed past Trieste and into Slovenia with no further issues and then arrived at the Croatian border. There was a queue to leave Slovenia and we crept along behind a van. We eventually got to the front where a guard checked our passports and waved us through. By the time I'd put my gloves back on and stowed the documentation there was nobody in front of us and a seemingly deserted border. Leading the way I boldly approached the barrier, which was up, and illegally invaded Croatia

Well guards appeared from everywhere with guns and started shouting, even though I'd only managed to get six feet past the line. We then had the third degree and had to produce passports, V5, insurance and driving licenses

Bounce managed to calm them all down and we were allowed to leave without the 75 Euro fine.

I'm not sure that that I helped his negotiation though, as we both still had our helmets on and I was shouting 'DON'T TELL 'EM YOUR NAME PIKE' in his helmet

We rolled into Selce and were in a bar by 20.00 drinking with Kev & Lizzie having covered Austria, Italy Slovenia and Croatia in a day

 

[Timolgra]

We had a 'cracking' breakfast served by a MILF in traditional costume

Come on you tease, where's the photo, some of those Austrian women are stunning

 

[Mutley]

Come on you tease, where's the photo, some of those Austrian women are stunning

Croatian beaches on Day 5

 

[Bounce]

Well guards appeared from everywhere with guns and started shouting, even though I'd only managed to get six feet past the line. We then had the third degree and had to produce passports, V5, insurance and driving licenses

Bounce managed to calm them all down and we were allowed to leave without the 75 Euro fine.

I'm not sure that that I helped his negotiation though, as we both still had our helmets on and I was shouting 'DON'T TELL 'EM YOUR NAME PIKE' in his helmet

Bloody hell....our first night in Croatia could've been in a prison cell....

And then Mutters shouting via the i/com...DON'T TELL EM YOUR NAME PIKE



and of course I'm pissing myself with laughter, and trying to hide my apparent hilarity from the gun wealding border rozzers!!!!!!

What a bloody giggle.....and onto the sunshine....

 

[(RIP) andrewgsadv]

Called back to see if you had posted . Good on ya .Made me laugh out loud again

What a cracking trip . More please.

 

[Mutley]

Day 5 (Tuesday) - rest day

We rose early and went in search of breakfast, unfortunately the previous day's excesses (temperature, mileage, illegal border crossing and beer) had taken their toll and it was early in the afternoon.

Still, resourcefull as ever, we found chocolate croissants and large coffees

It may have been all the sun but, not the only time this day, I realised that Bounce was changing into an alien. On this occasion it was E.T.

(look at the size of that finger )

We then decided we'd avoid the bikes for a day and go for a and a point at some stuff

Obviously there was a difference of opinion about which part of the scenery was the most attractive although we both puzzled over the meaning behind this sign

We chilled out in a few bars, and 'connected' with the locals

Then we had an afternoon before heading out

It looked like it was going to be a fine sunset

and then the second coming of the alien appeared, this time it was Yoda

The sunset didn't dissapoint :cool

and a great night was had by all. The barmaid had a 'spring' in her step

and ice cream was eaten for desert

 

[Bounce]

T'was truly a hot day, scoping out the beach and the ladeez (some pics could not be posted....)

However, as for my alien links......it's all camera trickery......

The Croatian coastline was beautiful, with no end of things to entertain...

 

[Mutley]

Day 6 (Wednesday) - 270 miles

We got a flying start from the hotel after what has to be the worst breakfast of the week Selce caters mostly for Hungarians with some German and Austrian visitors but it seems Hotel Selce is still in the Communist era when it comes to food

We returned to our usual sat nav settings and headed for Lake Bled as we'd missed it on the way down. Heading out of town and up into the hills we were delighted to be avoiding the packed coast road and the heat by the coast.

As we climbed I was commenting to Bounce how the road was great but unfortunately the surface appeared to be deteriorating as we got further inland. Then we turned left and the road sort of, well, ended really

We the surface broke up the further we went on and eventually became just a logging track. What we didn't know was how far the next tarmac was but, being idiots, we trusted Binky the sat nav and set off.

Now I'm hardly an off road god, and I've never off roaded with full luggage on before, especially fully gassed. Bounce has done the BWM off road skills course (4 years ago) and the fords ride at the Hugmoist 2010

To say the next 20 miles was a challenge would be putting it mildly, especially as it was around 35C.

Luckily the intercom worked fine and we could stay in touch and I could coach Bounce through, when I wasn't swearing or panic stricken myself

Looking back now it really made the whole adventure for us, although we took it VERY steady. We saw one car and no other people for the whole of this stretch. I guess it could all have gone wrong but we had a ball and no offs - no risk no gain

At the time I was bloody hot and was delighted to find a garage with cold drinks

There was a remarkable improvement in the road surface as we rode (without incident) into Slovenia. It's a lovely country and we were blown away by Lake Bled where we had lunch

From Bled we headed back into Austria and the mountains again

and before long we could see snow

We were heading for Ulm as a destination when the weather began to close in. It was heading for 18.30 so we thought we'd stop but it all seems very closed up there in the summer. We reached a little town called Sillian and thought we'd call it a night. We found a nice place to stay run by an ex-Olympic down hill MILF

Opposite was a very nice little restaurant where we had Weiner Schnitzel, but this was done properly and you could hear the chef tenderising the meat as we selected the wine

Afterwards we retired to the bar where I sampled the Asbach and Bounce read the local paper horoskop in German and translated it to English for the bar staff. His German is limited to 'svie bier bitter' so much hilarity ensued when it appeared that 'die Hasselhof' would be appearing in the town tomorrow and one barmaid would be getting 'die Fledermaus' up her nightdress

When we got back to the hotel a group of Goldwings had arrived. Two had some of the worst paint jobs I've ever seen. On the first the fireball is going backwards on the pannier whilst the second makes a '3 Wolf Moon' T shirt look tasteful

 

[Toad]