Heh heh...no apologies for the Thread title...
You can`t beat cheap innuendo and double entedres to attract attention.
This Thread basically runs parallel with MMC`s great posting found here... http://www.ukgser.com/forums/showthread.php?t=217675
Saturday January 30th 2010.
I should be starting a run of six 6am - 2pm shifts today but instead my 5am alarm clock is heralding a quite different weekend to that on my shift roster.
I rise from my pit,wash and dress,then chomp some toast with a glass of fruit smoothie....then I wheel out Skaya,my beloved 650 Ural combo.
Brrr...there had been a cloudless,moonlit night after some early rainfall and it has left a 'bit of a chill' in the air......this should just have been a small puddle of water on Skaya`s tonneau cover.....
Heated seats??
Ural riders don`t want no steenking heated seats.....
I dashed back indoors to don my full Goretex riding gear as a fairly refereshing and invigorating ride surely loomed ahead.
This was because I was about to do what to my cider and wine addled mind was a perfectly sane and rational thing....namely,travel from the Wirral down to Bampton,not a million miles from Oxford,to stay in the company of a guy I`d never met previously and enjoy a bit on the side for the weekend.
DO WHAT ???

Well,missus,not quite what you`re imagining.
MMC had done the equally sane and rational thing of purchasing a Ural sidecar outfit having never even previously sat on one .....never mind ridden one.
Although we`d never met in real life,we`d communicated via emails and website PM`s,as well as phone chats (and we`d been hoping to meet up for at least a couple of years),and a recent conversation was about the Ural purchase.
MMC had been wanting to buy a Ural for a while but due to the Sterling/Euro exchange rate causing recent price hikes the new ones are fairly expensive and the demand for used ones has risen sharply,leading to him chasing a few and losing out when other purchasers got there first.
That`s a euphemism for 'Due to his dithering and fannying about'....
Clearly being generously equipped with sanity and rationality,he mentioned in passing that he would buy the Ural then gently bimble home the best part of 30 odd miles along the quiet Cotswold lanes.
I do like a person with a sense of humour.
I gently but persuasively informed him that it doesn`t matter how long you`ve ridden solo motorbikes for,you will not be able to get on a combo and ride away without difficulty.
And you most certainly will not be able to travel cross country without either scaring yourself witless (and something that sounds the same) or planting the combo into a hedge/fence/oncoming vehicle.
The outcome would be injury,death or such a fright that the combo would never be used again.
So....ta-dah...drumroll...I would book the weekend off work,finally get to meet MMC after all this time,go with him to collect his Ural and teach him how to ride a combo!
I`d also get to collect a few sale items I`d bought from F2 Motorcycles and save on the £5 postage fee....heh ,heh.
Here we go then....it`s 6.15am and Skaya is ready for the off,freshly serviced the day before and all happy at the chance of more travels.
I have an aversion to motorways on all my bikes,especially the Urals,so elected to travel the fairly direct route of A41 Whitchurch/TernHill,A442 Telford/Bridgnorth/Kidderminster,A449 Worcester,A44 Evesham/Broadway, A424 Stow on the Wold/Burford then a bit of A361 and back lanes to MMC Towers in Bampton.
I did,however,use the short stretch of M53 motorway from Chateau Tarka to Chester in order to miss all the stop-start local town traffic lights and roundabouts..even so early in the day.
Did I tell you there was a bit of a chill in the air ......?
JEEZ,even in my Goretex I could feel it...unlike my fingers which couldn`t feel much at all when I stopped for some body fuel and a coffee just before Kidderminster in an ace biker friendly cafe.
A few minutes griddling the white lifeless sausages resident within my gloves on my cylinders then in we go for a feed and warm up.
Lovely,chatty,friendly staff and very nice food....plus plenty of bike mags,and CENTRAL HEATING.
Onwards ho...and a fabulous run ensues...mostly traffic free and no blooming 40mph 'daisy chains' in open 60mph limits.
Exactly as per my ETA I arrive at MMC Towers at 11am.
That`s 4 hours actual riding time as I stopped for petrol near Evesham in addition to my brekky stop.....not bad going at all.
Straight away Skaya had an admirer...indeed throughout the weekend Skaya and then MMC`s Ural constantly had people looking and asking about them.
I was made instantly welcome by MMC and the lovely Pip....who supplied me with fabulous bacon sandwiches and fresh ground coffee via what appeared to be a vertically challenged bong.
Sustained and introduced,we went in Pip`s car to somewhere else I`d never magaed to visit previously...the hallowed ground of F2 Motorcycles,owned by Ural dealer/guru/afficionado and all round nice guy David Angel.
This was waiting for us.........
A beautiful,lovely condition and prepared Ural 650 Dalesman.
Ain`t she sweet ?
Never mind MMC,I don`t know how anyone at all`s going to manage riding it with this sign here......
Sod the sign...this was time for cheesy pose and full gurning for the camera!
Paperwork and money changed hands and then David explained the workings of the Ural along with an abridged version of the normally comprehensive riding advice and instruction,seeing as I was teaching MMC....and David knew me from various rallies,so he knew of my combo abilities and experience.
He doesn`t look apprehensive at all,does he ?????
I think it was around this time that the 20 watt lightbulb above his head came on and he realised that he really wouldn`t have 'just bimbled nice and easily back home along the quiet Cotswold lanes'

Once ready I rode the Ural with MMC as monkey and we went to an industrial estate near Witney.
Here,I explained the nuances of combos...slight drift to left when moving off, slight drift to right when throttling off,the hazards of throttling off if the sidecar lifts which makes the combo go straight (and usually into a hedge/wall/other vehicle),etc etc.
We spent an hour with him doing right then left hand circles...figure eights and parking then reversing....with several rest breaks in between
Suitably physically and mentally drained,yet having done incredibly well,MMC relaxed in the sidecar and took some of his great photos seen in his Thread while I rode us home for a freshen up.
An evening of plentiful and delicious Chinese food and erm,perhaps an excess of wine in very good company ended a most enjoyable and rewarding day.
Sunday would be a full-on training session............
You can`t beat cheap innuendo and double entedres to attract attention.

This Thread basically runs parallel with MMC`s great posting found here... http://www.ukgser.com/forums/showthread.php?t=217675
Saturday January 30th 2010.
I should be starting a run of six 6am - 2pm shifts today but instead my 5am alarm clock is heralding a quite different weekend to that on my shift roster.
I rise from my pit,wash and dress,then chomp some toast with a glass of fruit smoothie....then I wheel out Skaya,my beloved 650 Ural combo.
Brrr...there had been a cloudless,moonlit night after some early rainfall and it has left a 'bit of a chill' in the air......this should just have been a small puddle of water on Skaya`s tonneau cover.....
Heated seats??
Ural riders don`t want no steenking heated seats.....

I dashed back indoors to don my full Goretex riding gear as a fairly refereshing and invigorating ride surely loomed ahead.
This was because I was about to do what to my cider and wine addled mind was a perfectly sane and rational thing....namely,travel from the Wirral down to Bampton,not a million miles from Oxford,to stay in the company of a guy I`d never met previously and enjoy a bit on the side for the weekend.
DO WHAT ???

Well,missus,not quite what you`re imagining.

MMC had done the equally sane and rational thing of purchasing a Ural sidecar outfit having never even previously sat on one .....never mind ridden one.
Although we`d never met in real life,we`d communicated via emails and website PM`s,as well as phone chats (and we`d been hoping to meet up for at least a couple of years),and a recent conversation was about the Ural purchase.
MMC had been wanting to buy a Ural for a while but due to the Sterling/Euro exchange rate causing recent price hikes the new ones are fairly expensive and the demand for used ones has risen sharply,leading to him chasing a few and losing out when other purchasers got there first.
That`s a euphemism for 'Due to his dithering and fannying about'....
Clearly being generously equipped with sanity and rationality,he mentioned in passing that he would buy the Ural then gently bimble home the best part of 30 odd miles along the quiet Cotswold lanes.
I do like a person with a sense of humour.

I gently but persuasively informed him that it doesn`t matter how long you`ve ridden solo motorbikes for,you will not be able to get on a combo and ride away without difficulty.
And you most certainly will not be able to travel cross country without either scaring yourself witless (and something that sounds the same) or planting the combo into a hedge/fence/oncoming vehicle.
The outcome would be injury,death or such a fright that the combo would never be used again.
So....ta-dah...drumroll...I would book the weekend off work,finally get to meet MMC after all this time,go with him to collect his Ural and teach him how to ride a combo!
I`d also get to collect a few sale items I`d bought from F2 Motorcycles and save on the £5 postage fee....heh ,heh.
Here we go then....it`s 6.15am and Skaya is ready for the off,freshly serviced the day before and all happy at the chance of more travels.
I have an aversion to motorways on all my bikes,especially the Urals,so elected to travel the fairly direct route of A41 Whitchurch/TernHill,A442 Telford/Bridgnorth/Kidderminster,A449 Worcester,A44 Evesham/Broadway, A424 Stow on the Wold/Burford then a bit of A361 and back lanes to MMC Towers in Bampton.
I did,however,use the short stretch of M53 motorway from Chateau Tarka to Chester in order to miss all the stop-start local town traffic lights and roundabouts..even so early in the day.
Did I tell you there was a bit of a chill in the air ......?
JEEZ,even in my Goretex I could feel it...unlike my fingers which couldn`t feel much at all when I stopped for some body fuel and a coffee just before Kidderminster in an ace biker friendly cafe.
A few minutes griddling the white lifeless sausages resident within my gloves on my cylinders then in we go for a feed and warm up.
Lovely,chatty,friendly staff and very nice food....plus plenty of bike mags,and CENTRAL HEATING.
Onwards ho...and a fabulous run ensues...mostly traffic free and no blooming 40mph 'daisy chains' in open 60mph limits.
Exactly as per my ETA I arrive at MMC Towers at 11am.
That`s 4 hours actual riding time as I stopped for petrol near Evesham in addition to my brekky stop.....not bad going at all.
Straight away Skaya had an admirer...indeed throughout the weekend Skaya and then MMC`s Ural constantly had people looking and asking about them.
I was made instantly welcome by MMC and the lovely Pip....who supplied me with fabulous bacon sandwiches and fresh ground coffee via what appeared to be a vertically challenged bong.
Sustained and introduced,we went in Pip`s car to somewhere else I`d never magaed to visit previously...the hallowed ground of F2 Motorcycles,owned by Ural dealer/guru/afficionado and all round nice guy David Angel.
This was waiting for us.........
A beautiful,lovely condition and prepared Ural 650 Dalesman.
Ain`t she sweet ?
Never mind MMC,I don`t know how anyone at all`s going to manage riding it with this sign here......
Sod the sign...this was time for cheesy pose and full gurning for the camera!
Paperwork and money changed hands and then David explained the workings of the Ural along with an abridged version of the normally comprehensive riding advice and instruction,seeing as I was teaching MMC....and David knew me from various rallies,so he knew of my combo abilities and experience.
He doesn`t look apprehensive at all,does he ?????
I think it was around this time that the 20 watt lightbulb above his head came on and he realised that he really wouldn`t have 'just bimbled nice and easily back home along the quiet Cotswold lanes'

Once ready I rode the Ural with MMC as monkey and we went to an industrial estate near Witney.
Here,I explained the nuances of combos...slight drift to left when moving off, slight drift to right when throttling off,the hazards of throttling off if the sidecar lifts which makes the combo go straight (and usually into a hedge/wall/other vehicle),etc etc.
We spent an hour with him doing right then left hand circles...figure eights and parking then reversing....with several rest breaks in between
Suitably physically and mentally drained,yet having done incredibly well,MMC relaxed in the sidecar and took some of his great photos seen in his Thread while I rode us home for a freshen up.
An evening of plentiful and delicious Chinese food and erm,perhaps an excess of wine in very good company ended a most enjoyable and rewarding day.
Sunday would be a full-on training session............





