Sorry, but:
Why does it have a min/max level then clever clogs.
My standards clearly differ from yours.
Living as I do in Norn Iron, a supposedly (but not actually) religious part of the world, My first trip to London was around 40 years ago.
On my first Sunday morning there, I was amazed to see this great city at worship.
Not, as in Norn Iron, in church, but out in the street worshipping their cars.
There they were, streets of them, with the cars up on jacks or stands, under them, scrubbing and muttering incantations such as "Nice Car", "Good car" etc.
Sorry, but over here, vehicles are bought to be used, not polished.
The only religion is Joey Dunlop.
I must say though. I buy the majority of my cars & bikes in England because of this!
If anyone is foolish enough to cosset a vehicle or bike, I may as well be the beneficary!
P.S. I do service my own bikes myself at regular intervals - usually before each long trip, or in other words, at slightly less than manufacturer's intervals.
What oil? into the local motor factors, & the nearest can of fully synthetic. Never look at the label. Who cares?
If it starts "missing", change the plugs, otherwise ignore it, other than changing tyres when the air starts to leak out through the canvas where there used to be tread. ( Usually around 6000 miles.) I do not know how others get these fabulous reported mileages out of their tyres!
Washing - never. Agin my religion. However, I will clean something, E.G. a wheel, if it is off for a tyre!
Parking up. The moment there is any salt on roads, bike parked in shed till end of February.
I will never ride a bike on Winter roads. Salt destroys them.
Bike lies for around 4 months - 6 this year - I was in hospital with pancreatitis. Out night before I wish to go on it again. Clip on charger overnight. Next morning, wheel it out, kick tyres. If foot bounces off firmly, they are ok, so go.
Myke