Four well-dressed Tossers sitting together at a rather posh bikers caff.
Tosser1: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Tosser2: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
Tosser3: You're right there Obediah.
Tosser4: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?
Tosser1: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
Tosser2: A cup o' COLD tea.
Tosser4: Without milk or sugar.
Tosser3: OR tea!
Tosser1: In a filthy, cracked cup.
Tosser4: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
Tosser2: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
Tosser3: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
Tosser1: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness but it does buy you a pair of Metzeler Tourances"
Tosser4: 'E were right. I were happier then and I had nothin cept a pair of Tourances with 20,000 miles on em.
Tosser2: 20,000 miles? You were unlucky. I had a pair of Tourances with 30,000 miles on em
Tosser3: You were unlucky to get just 30,000. My old Tourances did seven years and wore out at 56,000!
Tosser1: Ohhhh we used to LAUGH about gettin just 56,000 miles. My Tourances did 373,268 miles before I flogged em to that Charlie McGregor! And ‘e went round bloody world on ‘em 19 times tha knows! Hmph.
Tosser4: Well when I say "20,000" it were all off road.
Tosser2: I used to DREAM of riding off road! I ‘ad to ride roads covered in nails!
Tosser3: You were lucky to have NAILS! I ‘ad to ride on roads covered in broken glass and landmines with mam and dad on’t pillion seat and two dogs in a small shoebox.
Tosser1: Cardboard box?
Tosser3: Aye.
Tosser4: But you try and tell the young people that today ... and they won't believe ya'.
ALL: Nope, nope..
A total rip-off of the brilliant Monty Python sketch (for any rare young Tossers

)