Kicking in the doors at München

[Fanum]

(bear with me on this one, it gets better later with some nice bike pics )






We're all fed up with the 1200, 800 and 650 owners suffering so many QC issues so we decided it was time for some positive action.......so we decided to go and kick in their front door in München and demand some answers.......

We set off without tickets or much of a plan, just a bike, two people, a bad attitude, some pink hair and some questions to be asked.

Because I'd been waiting in all day for the helmet I'd ordered to be delivered by the really really slow people at DKN Motorcycles, we got to Dover late in the evening and paid a silly amount to the nice lady in the kiosk to get across (note to self...pre book next time! )

I had intended to get a few week's breakdown cover in the offices there, but of course they were shut.......fortunately we were on a high mileage, badly treated 1150 so we knew it wouldn't break down

I hate Northern France.....and with the time difference, it was VERY late when we got into the grey dank expanses of Calais' industrial wastelands......a bit of chasing the neon signs interspersed with a few prods on the GPS found us rejected at a Formule 1, then some other dire card operated unattended modular rabbit hutch, but half an hour later we were ensconsed in the hotel opposite the Eurocity fag and booze emporium.


OO look, shiny new helmet and arty photo!!
(Yes, it's the Givi X01...more on that later )

I don't like doing what the French want me to do so we parked the bike where we could see it (and hear the alarm) from the rabbit hutch window......

Before I go on, I should say that the camera is busted ok? The screen on the back doesn't work, so you can't see what you're taking a pic of, what settings it's on and you can't tell if the flash is going to go off or anything, that's why the pictures are pants.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it

Next day we hit Belgium.......The country where every house has to have by law, a cow (or more), two sheep and a goat in their garden.
Funny, they don't have farms outside towns like we do...they're in the middle of other blocks of houses

Belgium's clean too.....like all the other Yoooropean countries, no wonder they all think we're dirty bastards...we really are!!

Somehow though, boring though it is, we liked Belgium...it's sort of 'nice- nice roads, nice light, nice towns, nice people.....it's just, nice.

I'd spent a long time putting in all the WP's from the German campsite database in Whatton's fine collection of WP's thread....

GERMAN CAMPSITE DATABASE MY HAIRY ARSE!!!!

Some tw@t must have sat there and picked off 532 campsites from some large scale map, then blind folded himself and stuck pins in roughly the same country that the campsites were in........don't use the list and expect to find a campsite where the WP is!!

(Not your fault Kev, and I will amend the list soon but that particular one is a pile of poo )

The first WP we tried put us right in the middle of Aachen.....several KM inside the town boundaries in fact, right next to a petrol station and a dentists.

Which was nice.

So on to the next one.......that took us up an old gravel farm track which took us into an old grass meadow which took us nowhere......

As with all travel using a GPS, we had to use a bit of common sense and we noticed that there was a large lake a mile or so away, and lakes mean boats and peopple and bars and .......campsites, so off we went.

ANd found a campsite

Not a bad place either- lots of midges but that's to be expected near water so tough titties.....it wasn't busy either so we found a nice spot and settled in.

 

[Aidan1150]

Is that it?





No patience me.

 

[LiquidLAN]

two gps's or is it gpi? no wonder you couldnt find the WP, they'll never agree with each other...


btw, why does your GPSMAP 60 seem to have two arials? oh and whats the other thing on your brace bar?

 

[Fanum]

Do you think we got enough luggage on the bike??

Vernatech panniers (top kit- strong as a strong thing, waterproof, and very, very big

Left hand pannier clothes, waterproofs, thermal layers, spare dry bags for dirty clothes to be sealed away in, wet wipes, make up, toilet bag, more wet wipes and coffee making kit, LED interior stick on light.

Right hand pannier- Spare FD bearing, seal and 'o' ring, clutch slave cylinder, tools, fuses, Bulbs, puncture repair kit (rat tails, the best!) pots, pans, Coleman dual fuel cooker, Sporks, Glock 18, two clips spare ammo, knife, shock cord, corkscrew, vac bags, food, bag of chargers and assorted 'hard' stuff. LED stick on interior light, 20 feet of duct tape stuck in two foot strips in lid, 10 foot Insulting tape same.

Ortlieb- Another spare 50 Litre fabric dry bag, Khyam Biker tent, Army issue ally tent pegs, shock cord guy ropes, one Metzeler roll mat one Thermarest roll mat, two sleeping bags.

Hein Gericke 'Tuareg' handlebar bag- Lighter, AA batteries, broken camera , small cable ties, Nicorrette gum, Zen MP3 Player, Earplugs and charging lead for Blackberries and Garmin Rino.

Hein Gericke handlebar bag on frame behind pillion's calf- Fuses, insulting tape, fat foot on 6 feet of elastic, spare leatherman.

Hidden on bike- Spare Euros (Ziplock bag, taped away securely) Spare remote control keyfob and key.

Tank ridge- 2 Litre Camelback fitted with rubber straps on quick release nylon pinch hasps (works superbly) with extended drinking tube for pillion's use.

Various other things stashed away that I've forgotten

Garmin Rino 520HCx, Garmin Quest 1, two extra DIN type power points and a double Ciggy lighter type power adapter off one of the DIN sockets.

Pelican case for change, Fags and lighter (but I wasn't smoking then )

Patience Aidan, It'll get better when we get to Munich

LL...it's a Garmin Rino- one of the aerials is the GPS reciever, the other is the talkie walkie one

 

[Fanum]

Up fairly early the next morning, on with the coffee and then packed up to go- lots of miles to do today, we're heading for ......well who knows, we'll go South East and see where we get to...the best way to travel

Bimbling along through the countryside aiming roughly in the right direction is great- very chilled and stress free, particularly if you don't have a specific target for that night, just a general idea of where you want to end up in the next few days ......
The more observant amongst you may be able to see why I'm running two GPS units....

I have no idea where we ended up that night, but there were some bumpy bits and a fortified house (Schloss? ) on the hill, so we kept our eyes open for a campsite sign and found one- half a mile away from where the GPS database said it was, but heck, what's half a mile on a GS?

Isn't my tent up yet woman??

Like I said, the camera wasn't working so I couldn't see what it was trying to focus on.
This shot's so good, I might enter it into 'Show Whatton your front page shots'

Like all German camspites, this one had a naff wooden chalet for a restaurant, with all sorts of twee things hanging on the walls and lots of those ghastly, really really bad paintings done by 'Helmut 1987' and 'Helga 1998' on the wall.
We had our fourth type of Scnitzel- they're all called something different but they're all identical, it's just the gloopy sauce or variant of tinned fruit that they stick on top that makes the name.
Other Yooropeans take the piss out of the British for our mediocre food, but the Germans take the biscuit in my book- there's only so many ways you can enjoy roadkill

The only difference between this restaurant and all the others we'd used was the smoking......in this one, every single person, including the bar staff, were heavy smokers- a family came and sat near us and the Mother and Daughter smoked inbetween mouthfulls of food which really put me off my squashed squirrel in breadcrumbs

Ah well, back to the tent, grab some sleep, wonder where we'll end up tomorrow

 

[Fanum]

I'm pretty sure I've got this all in the wrong order now (this was a ride we did in September last year so it's a long time ago for my addled brain) but it's time I got to some more interesting photos anyway, so I'll skip around the timeline a bit just for artistic effect.

Off we went and headed South East towards the Czech republic...I had a vague notion of going to Prague as 1) I loike it there and 2) Rosie had never been, so it seemed like a target.

On the way through a town, we saw a Mottorrad dealer, so of course we stopped and took a peek (we're a bit sad like that ) to see what our German counterparts could buy (and to grab a free coffee, something never to be passed over when traveling aimlessly )

Now you don't often see anything like this in a UK dealer do you!
Utterly impractical, the worst aspects of riding a motorcycle (flies in teeth, cold, exposed) and the worst aspects of driving a car (unable to filter, parking etc) all packaged up into one neat and very expensive bundle.
It did look good though and I'd love to try one just for fun

Ah yes, there it is, buried deep in the bodywork....our good old beloved tractor engine

 

[ebbo]

I was just settling in for a good read and it stops here

But don't rush it Fanum, I'll wait

 

[Fanum]

My eye was caught by a flash of THAT orange colour upstairs......

The sausage muncher salesman hiding behind a pillar said "Well Helloo" back as I caught sight of the bike and approached it with my best Leslie Phillips greeting....it made me laugh and the salesman looked very confused- I'm easily pleased though and the surreal exchange made my day

I don't know its history or provenance, but it looked very very nice indeed.....

It was also very tall.....I sat on it and for the first time in ages found my feet not fat on the ground (I'm a lanky tw@)

Did I mention it was quite tall??

Rosie did like the colour, even though it wasn't pink.

So that was nice.



Now......there are many things in life that you can make pretty.....Dawn French brushes up quite well and my Land Rover looks quite nice in a rufty tufty sort of handsome way wen it's polished up.......but they'd really really gone to town with this stuff on the next bike

 

[Fanum]

Face it ladies and gents, the GS is a fugly bike....it's not pretty, nor can it be made to look pretty by throwing lots of plastic parts at it and adding a couple of grand to the price.

This is wrong....so wrong I don't know where to begin

Maybe it looks better from a different angle?
Lets sneak around the other side and see if this pig's got a better face..........

I suppose the arse end is a bit nicer than its face, but it's still a GS and it's still ugly

 

[LiquidLAN]

Left hand pannier clothes, waterproofs, thermal layers, spare dry bags for dirty clothes to be sealed away in, wet wipes, make up, toilet bag, more wet wipes and coffee making kit, LED interior stick on light.

Make up??? Wetwipes??? either we need to be worried or you really have been girliefied

I'm just impressed you're traveling with one pannier of clothes, are you allowed to use any of that space??

LL...it's a Garmin Rino- one of the aerials is the GPS reciever, the other is the talkie walkie one

I'd guessed from this posting... pretty good name for it actually!

Fanum, shouldnt we change your name to MacGyver, you sound like you'd be ready for anything with that lot! though you need to recheck your kit as you've got a spare Leatherman, but no main one...

The more observant amongst you may be able to see why I'm running two GPS units....

I'm guessing its a broken speedo???

 

[wilbjr21]

Right hand pannier- Spare FD bearing, seal and 'o' ring, clutch slave cylinder, tools, fuses, Bulbs, puncture repair kit

Good to see a man who is prepared.

Better than the "credit card and telephone" approach by the 1200 bretheren.

I agree - duff speedo.

 

[LiquidLAN]

Good to see a man who is prepared.

Better than the "credit card and telephone" approach by the 1200 bretheren.

I agree - duff speedo.

Meow!!!

I carry some of that stuff on a trip, but admittedly not spare bearings or clutch slave cylinders - I guess becuase in all my years of road bikes I've never found an emergency near for either - still thats what the extended warranty is for.......................... isnt it???

 

[wilbjr21]

Meow!!!

I carry some of that stuff on a trip, but admittedly not spare bearings or clutch slave cylinders - I guess becuase in all my years of road bikes I've never found an emergency near for either - still thats what the extended warranty is for.......................... isnt it???

John I was only joking ............. I have a 1200 too. Just look at the purpose of Fanum's trip.

 

[Fanum]

Back on the bike and we headed for the border- There's something very satisfying in crossing borders and 'the Czech republic' has a ring to it and associations that make it a far more special border than 'Belgium', so we had to take a piccy of the sign

I had some fun on the approach to the border as well.....it doesn't take a genius to see that with the luggage and a pillion on board, the bike was quite heavy at the back- I'd been taking great care braking into corners 'cos the front kept shouting "I'm gonna tuck in on you ya ginger twat and spit you all over the road" on corners, but the upside was that I was lifting the front wheel in the air with ease.....Approaching the border we followed some German bikes on a tour and they were tiptoeing around every corner- This of course provided a perfect target and shifted as far over the tank as I could get my not inconsiderable bulk, I gave chase......

I nearly, soooo nearly, committed to coming past the rear rider on one wheel, two up- it would have been sooo easy and soooo cool, but although Rosie is a perfect pillion, I decided it would have been too much even for her so I backed off and just stashed it away as a mental victory

The Czech republic is pretty.....there is a marked difference between Germany and there, it's like stepping back a few decades in feeling and it's a nice place to ride in.

We went past the house of the only gay in the village.....which was nice.

And most villages outside of the grey and austere towns are very nice.

Sort of old.......

The vague plan was to go to Prague, but I'd forgotten that although in the EU, they have their own currency
After an hour riding around a large town trying to find a cash machine, I was getting a bit peed off.
We also hadn't seen any signs for campsites and I had no idea how to ask for one either, so we decided to nip across the country in one shot and pop back into Germany- I'd bought an ADAC paper map which had campsites marked on so off we went, a new plan in place

Back in Germany, we took a long series of back roads through rolling hills that could have been Shropshire, apart from the cows having bells on which was amusing Rosie no end

We camped up and....ah sod it, there's no pics from these couple of days and you're bored anyway, so I'll skip a day or so....

Where shall we go today???

 

[(RIP) john plane]

Very good bill

 

[cookie]

i'm enjoying this report




...but i'm afraid i do like the trick GS

 

[Fanum]

We were both a bit dirty and a bit smelly by this stage.

Hmm, ok, let me re-phrase that, I was a bit dirty and a bit smelly by this stage- Rosie of course and as ever was fragrant and lovely but we dicided that after four or five days of camping, we'd allow ourselves a bit of comfort and a night in a hotel, particularly as we were heading by this time to München and the campsite was nasty last time I stayed there.

We roamed around the city for a bit looking at the statues and fountains, occasionally glimpsing the big radio tower and the place we'd come to confront Herr BMW gruppenfuhrer, before starting to loook for a hotel.

After trying half a dozen near the main railway station (always a good place to start looking for a hotel) and the city centre, we headed outwards- the budget was't going to run to the mimimum of 120 euros for a night in one of the hotels there, so we headed back out of the city and ended up in a Holiday Inn (damn I hate chain hotels ) that had secure underground parking.

Up on the 9th floor there was a decent enough view over the city but I realised I'd only packed the Glock 18- If I'd packed the Barrett M107 .50 I'd have been able to take out the top few floors of the BUUM building you can see in the distance...the 1200 owner's revenge would have to wait until the following day

The next morning we left the hotel, nipping around the end of the barrier and through the bollards in an attempt at scoring a minor victory over the rather excessive carparkfees, rode into the city centre again and arriving at the BUUM building ,parked as illegally as we could.....they don't like that sort of thing so it caused us a great deal of pleasure

 

[Fanum]

It didn't look very busy anyway and it's not my fault they don't put what can't park there on their signs in English is it??

After locking the helmets on the bike we dumped our riding kit in a nice locker inside the building and I tried to get a discounted entry into the museum- After all, I was on a BUUM and I wanted to come in for free....seems perfectly reasonable to me

It didn't work.

Ah well....

It's an impressive building- perhaps too impressive actually, very modern and all designer smart- suspended ramps , steel, glass, walkways 50 feet up in the air and nooks and crannies all over the place.

We went round the place using the nicely drawn map pamphlet to make sure we went the opposite way to the suggested route and soon came across a tiny weeny van that amused us.

This is of course the child catcher's van , one of the first issues and very successful- they operated in all German cities up until a few years ago and helped in keeping graffiti and litter off the German streets until the Green party came to power and ruined it all by getting all liberal.

 

[Fanum]

We all know that the engines in our GS's derived from an old design created in 1478 by Helmüt Dickcheese, but few have seen an example of the actual engine- here it is, steam powered and barely capable of turning over the drive output shaft.

Pretty similar to the modern ones then

A pretty object none the less, if a bit 'overdisplayed'

Old bikes do little for me......I like what a bike does for me, where It can take me, what they symbolise and the way they work rather than the design or mechanical detail.....there are some exceptions to this though and I did gaze at this one for a good few minutes....

It's obviously the very first GS 'cos it's got knobblies as all GS's should have

It's got a round thing at the back and an early Touratwat HID rear light on the mudguard

It's got some nice shiny bits in the middle

A bit of a shame about the front though- someone had ridden it up a kerb and the forks were bent

 

[wilbjr21]

I am so enjoying this - thank you.