Lands End to John O'Groats - A Ride Report.

[Deleted account W]

Shep had an idea. Three more of us thought it was a good idea. We'd take a detour on our way to Glen Clova and The Gathering of the Clans weekend. We’d ride down to Lands End then up to John O’Groats before heading for the event.<o></o>
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<st1:city><st1lace>Burton</st1lace></st1:city> came down from <st1lace>Sunderland</st1lace> to my house in Nottinghamshire on Tuesday and we went out and entertained a few of the locals in my village boozer <o></o>
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We planned to get away at nine on Wednesday but although I was too excited to sleep and up at seven, <st1:city><st1lace>Burton</st1lace></st1:city> seemed happy to fester in the guest wing of Whatton Manor.<o></o>
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We got away a bit later and I smiled for the paparazzi….<o></o>
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We got down to Sheps shop in <st1lace>Basingstoke</st1lace> at one to meet up with him and Steptoe. Shep had been to Bakermans shop in the morning and received a load of sandwiches and cakes gratis which was nice of the floury tosser <o></o>
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While we were eating our free lunch Steptoe mentioned that he’d still got the tyre on the bike that had two BMW tyre repair plugs in a hole made by a bolt on his way back from the Morocco Dash at Easter. “2000 miles and not leaked once” he informed us.<o></o>
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It had started leaking by the time we got to Yeovil on the way to Lands End. In went the first can of tyre bodge goo………<o></o>
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We got to Lands End and took arty photos and fecked about with worn out rear tyres.<o></o>
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The weather was pleasant……..<o></o>
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We got away at about eight thirty and headed for the M5 with plans to stop for a bite to eat at the first services we came to. We made it to a McDonalds just before it shut at eleven. The weather on Bodmin moor had been shite but it had cleared up as we got back to civilisation. After we’d eaten some McCrap Steptoe stuck some more plugs in the hole in his tyre and we pumped it up again <o></o>
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Shep took it all in his stride……<o></o>
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At a fuel stop during the night somewhere on a motorway heading North while we stuffed yet another plug into Steptoes hole we bumped into two other GS’ers riding the LE to JOG run. We would run into them a couple more times during the next twenty hours.<o></o>
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At one point I was riding at the rear with Steptoe in front of me. His wheel went down very quickly and we ended up on the hard shoulder pumping it up. Shep and <st1:city><st1lace>Burton</st1lace></st1:city>, in front of us pulled off at the next junction to wait for us when they noticed we’d dropped off the back. We limped to a services and texted the front two to wait for us at the next services.
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Problem was they didn’t receive to text till they’d stopped at the forth next services. <o></o>
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We plugged Steptoes tyre with two of my "monkey shit" tyre plugs, one of <st1:city><st1lace>Burtons</st1lace></st1:city> “Tyre Plugger” plugs and two BMW tyre plugs and stuck another can of goo in. We felt confident about this "all or nothing approach" to tyre repair. <o></o>
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The sun was rising and the birds were singing, all was well with the world. The two of us toured the next four service areas looking for the advance party before we found them leaving what appeared to be the worst fried breakfast ever served at a service area North of Stoke on <st1:city><st1lace>Trent</st1lace></st1:city>. The two other GS Joggers were there too.<o></o>
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Onwards and upward, we rode along my favourite bit of Motorway of the whole trip where the M6 goes through <st1:country-region><st1lace>Cumbria</st1lace></st1:country-region>. MP3 tunes blarring away in my helmet kept the spirits up when any sane person would be pulling in and finding a hotel room to kip in. I’d been awake for twenty four hours at this stage.<o></o>
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The tyre decided to spit it’s dummies out just South of Glasgow, we pulled off the motorway and found a tyre shop. While we waited for it to open <st1:city><st1lace>Burton</st1lace></st1:city> wandered off in search of breakfast. He returned with sausage baps, excellent work that man <o></o>
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When the shop owner turned up he said he didn’t mend tyres. He told us about a place five miles away that did though. We pumped up the bastard tyre from hell one more time and set off for Cooper Brothers Tyres. When we found the shop the motorbike expert there didn’t have a Tourance or anything like that. He did have an Avon Racing Monkey type tyre that he thought he could cram onto the rim. Which he did, he also mended the Tourance and gave it Steptoe to take as a spare.

For all this he charged the spawny cockernee chap £30. We gave the tyre fitter 10 out of date doughnuts that Steptoe had bought for 10p in Asda the day before.<o></o>
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The tyre lowered the bike a bit but that’s a bonus if your Steptoe’s height <o></o>
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So now we had a new tyre and it was a new day. We were in <st1:country-region><st1lace>Scotland</st1lace></st1:country-region> and the roads would start getting better. We hammered on.........<o></o>
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At lunchtime we pulled off at Blair Athol and found a nice café by the river. <o></o>
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We order local caught fresh water loch haddock and chips. Which was good. The boys were looking a bit tired now…<o></o>
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We had an hour rest stop and then ploughed on. It started to rain soon after we left and it wasn’t namby pamby English rain either. The fookin heavens opened.<o></o>
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My trip mileage passed the 1000 mile mark somewhere during this time but I missed it due to concentrating on staying upright in the rain. We made John O’Groats by <st1:time minute="0" hour="5">five o’clock</st1:time>. What a god forsaken shit hole of a place. Still we were happy to be there.
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<st1:city><st1lace>Burton</st1lace></st1:city> opened up the cocktail top box and cracked open a little bottle of champagne……<o></o>
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The final tally on the gps…….<o></o>
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The two other Joggers pulled in twenty minutes after us. I’m sorry I can’t remember your names but I was a bit tired by now. We found a B&B and cleaned up before heading for the bar of the Sea View Hotel for drinks and food. <o></o>
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I lasted till eleven then retired to bed. Forty hours awake and 1248 miles had done me in. But it felt good. The next day we rode 280 miles of the best roads I’ve done for a long while to get to Glen Clova but that’s another story……………<o></o>
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Thanks to Shep for letting me ride with him on his trip. He’s a top bloke even if he does look like a bad ass biker <o></o>
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Edit: Slideshow........

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[Dahoum]

Yer all fekkin mad - mad i tells yer

ps Steppers is looking OLD aint he?

 

[Trippy]

Forty hours awake and 1248 miles

Bloody good effort chaps

 

[Chris iow]

Steptoe's tyre

Blimey steptoe I cannot believe that you were still on that tyre that you punctured whilst we were in morroco. Can't work out if you deserve my admiration or my sympathy!
Chris

 

[Fanum]

That Burton boy lost weight or is it just a trick of the light?

Well done all

 

[Deleted account rno]

Well done you bunch of maniacs

Good write up too.. Tell Burton never to go wandering about in Glagow with enough money to buy bacon rolls. He'll get his feckin' throat cut by some Weedgie Smack Heid

 

[BTBR]

Well done chaps, great write up Kev

 

[Blackal]

Tell you one thing............... You're spot-on with the description of John'o'Groats

Glad to see you at Glen Clova over the weekend

Al

 

[Sir James]

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Good photo's mate

What was your over all milage

 

[Stumpy]

Cracking write up

Recokn you should frame that tyre

Stumpy

 

[G.C.]

I hadn’t realised that you all did so much on the way to the GOTC.
Great write up, 2nd that about JOG, it really is a shitehole.

 

[Deleted account 220427002]

Cracking write up

Recokn you should frame that tyre

Stumpy

Frame it... it's got a few thousand left in it still

 

[robbie c]

well done, it's been on my todo list for ages, but having been to jog it's damn difficult to get motivated to go back

Rob

 

[judge]

Great effort - good write up Rog. Steppers what a fekkin liability

 

[(RIP) Kaister]

.....as opposed to an airhead. ??

 

[Timolgra]

Great write up

perhaps we should have a whip round and get Steptoe a new tyre this year

 

[MikeP]

Well done all.

Great story, great piccies, cracking words.

Muchly appreciated the entertainment.

 

[Steptoe]

The day of the longnight

Good write up Whatton. Read it a few times now.

Some lands end pictures.





Back just a bit more Shep !!



Funniest sight ?
Whatton, tired and emotional. Demanding that we stop for food and rest half hour ago ???? While Sitting on his bike waving his arms around and trying to take his crash helmet off ( which was still done up) all at the same time.

At a rest stop. Blair Atholl , for a bite to eat, and a snooze for the youngsters








While Shep has a treat.




John O Groats . What a stupendous end to a journey, the band must have gone home, and taken all the bunting with them. Or hiding in the mist and fog.



Hotel is derelict, and the caravan park is, err, a caravan park.

Ohh Err, is this it, what have we done.




Well, what do we do now ?? Perhaps JoG is closed for the day ?


Lets break out the Champers, and have a bit of a do.




Then off to find a B&B. One where the heating is on full blast and all the windows firmly closed, with yellowing net curtains, and a proprietor with a bogey hanging from his nose ( all true) .

 

[davegs]

John O Groats trip!

Well done to you all and very well written enjoyed it a lot. Quite adree about j.o.g, what a dump, we all made a special trip up here when touring in 2002 all thought why did we bother? it ain't even the furthest northern point as this is Dunnett head, a very breezy, grassy, place with a good view of Orkney, woth a visit but nothing there except a few building left over from the war. Does Time Team know about this?. How about a collection to buy Mr S. a new tyre?.