London Bangkok - Poacher turned gamekeeper

[monkeyboy]

Happy Christmas one and all

 

[crumbles]

Cheers Jason,same to you aswell,
Thanks for all the effort you put in to make this a great R&R..

 

[Udders]

It will be interesting to see what happens. The bike is 7 months out of warranty but I would hope they might be considerate and help out a bit...maybe. Otherwise I might just have to do the washing up for the next 50 years at the Ktm dealer to pay for it

Well I think KTM should be sorting this out free of charge. 7 months out of warranty? So frigging what!
This should not be happening at all on a machine of this age. There's obviously something majorly wrong with the factory fitted electronics. If you'd fannied around with it then ok but as far as I can tell you ain't. I'd be kicking up a massive fuss over this with KTM. Disgraceful.

 

[patzx12]

Great report, incredible you got through some of the terrain on those massive bikes, especially the 2 ups.
I think the Victory cruiser is OK its low and those big engine bars would catch it when it falls.
What do you think of taking a older low tech bike on such a trip?
Nothing worse than a problem deep in the electronics you cannot see or diagnose.
+ Well done Micky and Sue, I am going to read your RRs

 

[monkeyboy]

Bitch update.....

Spoke for a while to the mechanic today. Apparently the exorcist hasn't made any progress and they've had to bring in a hypnotist to try and fool the bitch into telling them what's wrong.

First session... 'WTF is up with you bitch?" ..... "I'm sick.... I don't think I can feel my throttles.... choking....ahhhhh ... ahhhhh.... I feel sooo poorly"

OK - whip all the top off. First off, the airbox is full of dust, and so are the throttle trumpets.... WTF is all that about? It has an air filter. It was serviced before it went. We did about 12k miles, and only maybe a maximum 2 of those were shit roads, and less that half of that was dusty stuff. So, certainly less than 1000 miles has filled the airbox with shit. I knew there were problems with this but I assumed that was when you were riding in sand and fesh fesh - not your normal highways and rough tracks. FFS - did they test these things in a hermetically sealed NASA test facility or something?

So.. KTM have 'lent' the dealer a new set of throttle boddies (£1000!!!!!! FUUUUUUUCKKKK). He put them on. Fuck all difference... Still thinks they're not working...

Oh yea - here's a good one.... are you sitting comfortably? I think you should sit down.. I was standing up and my jaw fell and bumped on the floor... OK - my gear indicator. The act of simply disconnecting and reconnecting the gear indicator at the connector means... wait for it... that the switch has to be reprogrammed to be recognised. ITS THE SAME FUCKING SWITCH YOU FRIGGING RETARD! And... to reprogram the switch... the bike has to be running. You can't make this stuff up

So. The Ktm UK dealer got back on to the hypnotist. "OK Bitch. That's very funny.... thanks. Any more ideas please? ... " Have you bought me a christmas present? I liked those shiny new throttle boddies. A girl loves her bling you know. How about a new ignition? And an spanky new ECU? And maybe a new set of suspenders? I've gone off orange... how about gold this time"

FFS - so Ktm UK quickly copied some data off her when she was busy practicing her chants and sent them to the mother ship in Austria. They had a look. They don't know. Their 'best guess' is the ignition switch, that's what the data points them towards but as I said before, another UK bike had a problem like this and they changed the ignition, but then it started fucking about again after a couple of months, and it was the ECU.

So now I have to have a special order ignition made. They make them to match the keys. You get an ignition and a new orange key to reprogram the current keys....

So now I'm currently £300 in the hole following KTM best guesses. Can this be right? If the diagnostics can't tell them exactly whats wrong, how is that my fault? £300 isn't small change to me.

KTM told the mechanic that if you're going to take your 1190 further than the end of your driveway, then they recommend you fit a very expensive but comprehensive overlander kit that they offer. It includes all sorts of things. A frame, wheels, panels, an engine, bars, lights, all sorts. Here is what an 1190 looks like with the kit fitted

 

[Rich C]

Oh no no no. This doesn't sound good and I also concur that how can a £300 diagnostic bill so far with little to show for it be your liability. That however is how it seems to go with any form of car or bike that has a complex problem to sort out. Tossers..

How long had you had the bike before this kicked off? I wonder if that was why it was up for sale?

I've had three GS's over the last 13 years with no issues at all other than a stick coil on my 1150 GSA. I'm currently riding round just wondering how long it'll be before there's an issue on a Ducati Multistrada!!! I do however have a massive grin on my face that the GS simply couldn't deliver!! I'm also in warranty and almost certainly wont get out of Europe on it so have limited the potential for disaster..

Suspect for your sort of trips you might be best restoring your 1150 somewhat or if it really is too far gone then suspect you've identified the 1190 overland kit as the best option.. or possibly the Super Tenere or the Triumph!

Good luck..!

 

[MikeO]

If you take your bike to a main dealer and they are unable to diagnose the problem, they should not be presenting you with a bill. If they can diagnose it and offer you a solution, then you have the choice of accepting the full bill, or just the diagnosis part. This is part of the cost of doing business for a main dealer. I'd wait until the diagnosis is delivered - if it's not and they try to stiff you with £300, contact KTM (UK) or whatever the parent organisation is.

Best of luck,

Mike

 

[monkeyboy]

If you take your bike to a main dealer and they are unable to diagnose the problem, they should not be presenting you with a bill. If they can diagnose it and offer you a solution, then you have the choice of accepting the full bill, or just the diagnosis part. This is part of the cost of doing business for a main dealer. I'd wait until the diagnosis is delivered - if it's not and they try to stiff you with £300, contact KTM (UK) or whatever the parent organisation is.

Best of luck,

Mike

I know Mike.. its a difficult one. I know the mechanic isn't charging anywhere near all the time he's spending on the bike for a start. And Ktm are obviously spending time at home and abroad looking at it. They have at least lent the throttle bodies and he will no doubt replace with my originals (but at whose cost for the work I'm not sure!) but to my mind, this is an electronics fault that should just identify the problem unambiguously, not just offer you 20 (all very expensive) guesses! These systems are just fucked up. They're just throwing loads of 3rd party technology at these bikes and leaving the punter to pay for sorting it out. If I was Ktm I would be embarrassed that a bike is sitting in a dealer for 3 weeks and nobody can work out why the starter button is just dead. Can you imagine these as they get older? They're just going to be unmaintainable.

 

[Kitsilano]

Happy Christmas one and all

Thanks, Monkeyboy - and also to you....Wishing the best for 2017 and your planned adventure. I appreciate the work that you put into your trip report and again, admire your eye foe photographing people.....it's an art.

 

[MikeO]

I know Mike.. its a difficult one. I know the mechanic isn't charging anywhere near all the time he's spending on the bike for a start. And Ktm are obviously spending time at home and abroad looking at it. They have at least lent the throttle bodies and he will no doubt replace with my originals (but at whose cost for the work I'm not sure!) but to my mind, this is an electronics fault that should just identify the problem unambiguously, not just offer you 20 (all very expensive) guesses! These systems are just fucked up. They're just throwing loads of 3rd party technology at these bikes and leaving the punter to pay for sorting it out. If I was Ktm I would be embarrassed that a bike is sitting in a dealer for 3 weeks and nobody can work out why the starter button is just dead. Can you imagine these as they get older? They're just going to be unmaintainable.

Remember when life was simpler?

Seriously though, I maintain my earlier statement - if they can't even diagnose it, they've got no business charging you a penny

I had a similar thing with Norwich Audi - who spent ages trying to track a symptom, only to eventually give up and hand the car back without charge. Turned out to be a disintegrating starter motor causing all sorts of electrical shenanigans - £50 from a breaker and problem solved - but solved by me - not them...

 

[roadrider]

Monkeyboy: Here is what an 1190 looks like with the kit fitted

 

[Sgt Bilco]

Well, I've just spent a brilliant few hors reading this brilliant report and don't remember bursting out laughing reading anything for ages.

Excellent stuff mate and maybe you should come to Alaska as I'd love to read about it from your point of view

 

[monkeyboy]

Well, I've just spent a brilliant few hors reading this brilliant report and don't remember bursting out laughing reading anything for ages.

Excellent stuff mate and maybe you should come to Alaska as I'd love to read about it from your point of view

Mate - I would love to come back to Alaska I went round the world with Nick Sanders in 2002 and we went to Alaska - only as far as Anchorage though. That trip was a real mission and we did 14,500 miles in the first month so it was all a bit of a blur. I went as far as Mile 0 at Dawson Creek on another ride but the weather came in and we had to turn south instead. That ride up to Prudhoe Bay is on my list for sure. I'd be very happy to ride it with you and then run it through my brain/bullshit generator and write a report I thought about it this year but I've taken redundancy and gone in to financial lockdown. So I thought I'd run another final London to Bangkok trip instead.

One day eh

Jason

 

[snaponphil]

Great read.. what a journey, what a ride report..
Did a month in Thailand but we hired 650 versys when we landed, would like to do your 2017 trip but honestly haven't the patience with all the waiting around for visas & fuel etc..
Also, I'm a Gs Lc owner, I would think twice about changing brands & venturing to unknown areas without dealers or the ability to fix steed while away from home.

Good luck though, & looking forward to another RR

 

[JonnyBravo]

Any word on the bitch ?

Sold a kidney or your first born to get her fixed ?

 

[monkeyboy]

Great read.. what a journey, what a ride report..
Did a month in Thailand but we hired 650 versys when we landed, would like to do your 2017 trip but honestly haven't the patience with all the waiting around for visas & fuel etc..
Also, I'm a Gs Lc owner, I would think twice about changing brands & venturing to unknown areas without dealers or the ability to fix steed while away from home.

Good luck though, & looking forward to another RR

Thanks mate - but you really should come! Journeys like these always have the ups and the downs, the fast days and the slow days, the anger and the laughter, the hot and the cold. You have to have one to enjoy the other. Nobody wants to flatline Life is short.

 

[monkeyboy]

Any word on the bitch ?

Sold a kidney or your first born to get her fixed ?

Got the call from the dealer. The Bitch is back.

In the end, after trying the exorcist, then the hypnotist, they thought they would try a gigolo. They got in contact with Ktm Italy and flew in ‘Tomme the Tongue’ to see what he could do.

So, it appears he pulled a long night shift with The Bitch and in the morning she was found purring to herself in the corner with a big smile on her face while Tomme was in the other corner, completely drained emotionally and physically, and with both barrels completely empty. It appears he had just the right technique of tickling her trumpets and had spent 3 hours slipping his big orange key in her ignition before finally managing to turn her on. Fair play to the bloke.

Tomme doesn’t come cheap (pun intended!) and so I got a hefty bill of around £1000. It included lots of unusual things though.

Dom Perignon Vintage Brut Champagne (2 bottles, chilled)
300 mood candles (vanilla, ginseng)
1 Barry White CD
3 dozen Scottish oysters
1 Rampant Rabbit (pink)
3 sets of AA batteries (Duracell)

She was still sticky with sweat when I picked her up…. Bitch

 

[Kitsilano]

Got the call from the dealer. The Bitch is back.

In the end, after trying the exorcist, then the hypnotist, they thought they would try a gigolo. They got in contact with Ktm Italy and flew in ‘Tomme the Tongue’ to see what he could do.

So, it appears he pulled a long night shift with The Bitch and in the morning she was found purring to herself in the corner with a big smile on her face while Tomme was in the other corner, completely drained emotionally and physically, and with both barrels completely empty. It appears he had just the right technique of tickling her trumpets and had spent 3 hours slipping his big orange key in her ignition before finally managing to turn her on. Fair play to the bloke.

Tomme doesn’t come cheap (pun intended!) and so I got a hefty bill of around £1000. It included lots of unusual things though.

Dom Perignon Vintage Brut Champagne (2 bottles, chilled)
300 mood candles (vanilla, ginseng)
1 Barry White CD
3 dozen Scottish oysters
1 Rampant Rabbit (pink)
3 sets of AA batteries (Duracell)

She was still sticky with sweat when I picked her up…. Bitch

I'm thinkin' it was the Barry White CD that did the trick.....

 

[MikeO]

Great read.. what a journey, what a ride report..
Did a month in Thailand but we hired 650 versys when we landed, would like to do your 2017 trip but honestly haven't the patience with all the waiting around for visas & fuel etc..
Also, I'm a Gs Lc owner, I would think twice about changing brands & venturing to unknown areas without dealers or the ability to fix steed while away from home.

Good luck though, & looking forward to another RR

The delays are the journey...

 

[Snow White]

Yea, but she's back.... and ready for the next thrashing