Offensive Bike

  • Thread starter Thread starter Shorty Mac
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Shorty Mac

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As a new convert I am well chuffed with the bike but have noticed that car / van drivers arn't as keen on it as me!

This morning off I head for work on a major road with open limit I come across a line of traffic behind Mr Stobbart, indicator & when clear I start to pick em off until I'm behind the truck - Mr Van who was 2nd in the queue not a happy chap, pulls out alongside and swerves across my path - welcome to the world of ABS.

Now heres my question - what the hell do you do???????? three big ugly buggers in a van so I start to relive all the dirty harry films in my head.

Has anyone ever fitted machine guns to their bike????????

Maybe he was a frustrated viffer owner :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 
maybe not quite dirty harry - but i find in these situations that: Left Sidi Courier Metal Toecap + Offending Offside Mirror + Sharp Impact on Overtake = 1 x Rudely Awoken Driver and 1 x Happily Avenged GS'er....

;-)
 
Shorty Mac said:
As a new convert I am well chuffed with the bike but have noticed that car / van drivers arn't as keen on it as me!

This morning off I head for work on a major road with open limit I come across a line of traffic behind Mr Stobbart, indicator & when clear I start to pick em off until I'm behind the truck - Mr Van who was 2nd in the queue not a happy chap, pulls out alongside and swerves across my path - welcome to the world of ABS.

Now heres my question - what the hell do you do???????? three big ugly buggers in a van so I start to relive all the dirty harry films in my head.

Has anyone ever fitted machine guns to their bike????????

Maybe he was a frustrated viffer owner :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

YEs there are plenty of precendents for this. For example:

What you need is an R75, lovely bike, with sidecar and machine gun. I´d recomend recruiting to wife on one of her "off days", or if you have a completely out of control teenager, that would probably work as well. If you want it in desert beige that will be quite expensive (about three times what youde pay for an R1200gs). If youwant it in Navy (German) blue - youd have to pay even more.

but think of the look on the faces of the white van scum as the misses takes aim, lovely and priceless! My brother in law is looking for one to help him manage a troublesome neighbour.
 
surprised but not surprised

Mac,

I too am fairly new at the GS game, but have generally been chuffed at the tin boxes getting out of the way, the bike does have road presence. Even went for a spirted ride up the A3 at rush hour to put it to the test, it worked a lot, but I guess van drivers have a reputation to live up to!
 
Just watch out

I hate to put a damper on it guys, but cars/ vans / trucks will always win the war.

I have ridden for years and October last year the Car won the first battle on the M1. You will bounce and break the car will be carried away on a truck with the driver perfectly fine.

Watch your backs, the sleepy commuter or the " in a hurry white van" will always win.

HTH, Nick
 
Re: Just watch out

Commuter said:
… Watch your backs
Amen to that Nick,

Saturday afternoon, and Florence and I were out for a play. It was Florence’s introduction to the joys of filtering.

Not fun … seriously not fun.

If I had flashed the cash for the pair of Sidi Couriers that she fancied, she would have kicked the sh!t out of umpteen cars and busses, ‘cos the drivers are either too ‘kin stupid, ignorant or bloody minded to care about another couple of human beings that happen to be able to make better progress through the traffic than they can. :tosser 's the lot of them.

… be careful out there :thumb
 
well well - road rage UK lives on.

thats something i don't miss at all - in fact over here everyone is very polite and lets you in, moves over and is generally just very well behaved.

Laid back and not in a hurry seems to be the attitude. I think the main reason is that most roads have traffic light intersections and it doesn't matter how fast you go, you'll always get held up by lights in the next 200yds or 2 miles.

However, its more a social attitude generally and the UK is only going one way, i'm afraid.

Back to the topic - one thing i seriously considered is a paintball gun - i'm sure there is a model out there that could be adapted for white van man use.

just make sure you've got a getaway exit and a small no plate though if you're serious.

Phil
 
The paintball gun is a gr8 idea :D

I'll ask BMW or Givi for a fitting kit under the topbox and install a trigger on the bars :D :D :D :D :D

Seriously though maybe its my age but I have learned to curb the anger and accept the fact that there are a few unenlightened souls out there - they are the minority and their behaviour should be ignored - be safe - live longer

Now where's that nobel application form :confused: :confused: :confused:
 
A friend of mine was long a distance despatch rider on a R100 back in the late seventys & early eighties.

He cut out a number of jam-jar size holes in his vetter fairing to carry half a dozen or so jars filled with brake fluid.

When he wanted to teach a car/van/truck driver a lesson he would remove one and throw it at the vehicle as he went past.

It would take around 10 mins for the brake fluid to have the desired result with a nice abstract bubbling effect on the paint work of the offending vehicle.:D
 
I agree with all that's been said about these drivers and feel the same about retribution..........

But non of these selfish Gits are worth getting 'Locked Up' for.........Cause, be sure as hell if they, or someone else gets your Reg. No. you're in deep shit for Criminal Damage!!

But a Machine Gun, ummm........Zer vill be No Vitnesses!! :mcgun

CC

:cool:
 
Generaly the plonker who moves over to block progress is usualy compensated for by other drivers who spot the action and move to positively compensate. However when filtering I find a laid back attitude is best not bothering to try and blind other road users with main beam/spotlamp/noisy cans or excessive reving etc wins the day. I, even as a biker, get hacked off by other bikers who have the attitude that other road users are obliged to make way for them. Aggressive filtering does tend to attract an aggressive response.

Regards
Andy80F
 
Well like in every walk of life there are dicks and normal people.
2 months ago a right plonked drove stradling the white line between lanse 2/3 on the m27 to stop me getting through. Funnilly enough a friendly trucker moved over from lanes 1/2 covering his method of moving back and waved me round the out side.
:D :D
Why do people do it i dont know, like it matters to them, they hate bikes coming past them because we have an advantage, but they dont seem to mind having the advantage in the winter when its freezing cold and peeing down with rain.


HG
 
There's nothing you can do. They are plonkers. You're on a bike and you'll be in front of him very soon anyway. Be angry for a minute to get it out of your system, then get on with it. Relax. Dont take action otherwise they will get angry and maybe knock off the next guy that comes along, which might be me.
 
Ha Ha - Finally got the solution :D

Just fitted a record player in the top box and hung some speakers either side - now where's me black lace lp :confused:

I'll av em dancing on the hard shoulder yet, it'll be one big conga on the M1

Anyone seen me marbles ????????????????????
 
None of that here...

OK, they may not see you, but thats normal car-driver-with-head-up-ass syndrome:rolleyes:

But when they do see the my Adventure, and after the panic look of WTF is THAT?...They usually get out of the way PDQ:D
 
Re: None of that here...

BawdyMonk said:
OK, they may not see you, but thats normal car-driver-with-head-up-ass syndrome:rolleyes:

But when they do see the my Adventure, and after the panic look of WTF is THAT?...They usually get out of the way PDQ:D

Yup...Agree totally Bawdy...especially with my fogs on (they're pointed down a fair bit ;) ).....I don't know why it is, but it is very noticeable......I havea feeling it's because they cant properly identify what/who you are, but they see the upright (ie plod like) riding position and that it's abig bike and just get out of the way 'in case'....

It is like parting the waves though, siting there at ton+ in lane three:D
 


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