RTW 2009/2010

I flew out on Saturday the 12th of July exactly as planned nearly 9 months previous, leaving Dublin airport despite the best attempts of an air traffic controllers strike to halt my progress. As we taxied down the runway I just couldn’t believe it was about to start.
Thats a great write up about your start Oisin, where did it go from there, very interested?:)
 
brilliant so far. keep it up ye boy ye. very amusing. btw, liverpool are still playing tosh...Man Utd is about the only game we've won so far, which I admit, is a good one to win!!! :aidan
 
Manizales, Colombia

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If your squeamish/easily offended just skip to the second paragraph...

I've been sick as a dog for the last 24 hours...and paradise right now would be a dry fart. I've been lorrying back imodium...how long does it take for that stuff to start working!!! I've been making buttons on any seat I sit on.....been clenching my arse cheeks together so hard.

I warily went for some grub this morning... I'd taken some pills so said I'd chance my arm. I walked into the breakfast area where there was a very stern faced woman standing. I smiled at her and asked in Spanish... Breakfast here? She just looked at me... so I repeated it with a por favor attached and she pointed to a seat and vanished. About a minute later she came back and starting fixing up some of the tables. I was sitting there biting my nails wondering whether or not any grub was going to show up ....and how long it would be before my next rectal detonation.

As my teeth rounded on one of the nails I looked up and caught her glance....which pretty much said..."Dont even ****in think about spitting that nail on my clean floor mister"...so I just put it in my back pocket....where i'm proud to say it now has 9 other brothers and sisters.

Anyhoot It had been about 14 hours since I'd eaten so given there just couldn't have been anything bar an odd tape worm in my system I said I go out and see the city. The most famous statue in the city is of Simon Bolivar, and its called the Bolivar condor. When I first saw it I thought it was demon or something.... its a breathtaking statue. Simon Bolivar just in case you didn't know is credited with winning independence from Spain for Ecuador, Colombia, Venezuela, Panama, Peru and Bolivia.... hes as big a national hero as George Washington is the US or as Gazza is in England. All the shops have the Christmas decorations up... I know they're probably all the rage back home but it seems so weird to see Santa Claus in Colombia.....

I did about 5 of the tourist hot spots before I was getting chamber alarms downtown so I jumped in a taxi for the longest ten minute taxi ride of my life....while managing to keep a smile on the outside.... inside i was saying..."oh holy jesus will you drive the car...drive the car faster you bastard...oh my god I'm gonna blow out an O-ring..... oh jesus hold on Ois...just hold on....." I got into the hotel...and burned up the stairs running just from the knees down.....and here I've sat all day...

Oh its an exciting life...but I've a copy of the Mona Lisa here to keep me company...

anyway...time to starve myself....long road tomorrow...

take care
Oisin

<strong> Pictures I took today are uploaded here </Strong>
<table style="width:194px;">
<tr><td align="center" style="height:194px;background:url(http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/transparent_album_background.gif) no-repeat left"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SvH70pR1WmE/AAAAAAABP3E/iWZ60lkmv2s/s160-c/Colombia02.jpg" width="160" height="160" style="margin:1px 0 0 4px;"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td style="text-align:center;font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:11px"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite" style="color:#4D4D4D;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;">Colombia</a></td></tr>
</table>
 
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Where is the beginning??

Dude - great trip report - I really like your writing style and am so envoius of the fact that I don't think I'll ever have the balls to do what you done - big respect!

BUT

Where is the start of the story?? We missed out on the bit from you arriving in Canada to the bit where this chapter starts in South America - do you have a blog about the missing part that you can open up to us?

I need to know more .........I think you can sell the movie rights once you done with this .......comedy/drama anyone?

Please keep it up:thumb2:thumb2:thumb2:thumb2
 
The original story started here...
30000mileson2wheels.blogspot.com

since then...all the information about this trip is here....or at least most of it is...

backtobroke.blogspot.com

thanks for the comments...much appreciated
:-)


Dude - great trip report - I really like your writing style and am so envoius of the fact that I don't think I'll ever have the balls to do what you done - big respect!

BUT

Where is the start of the story?? We missed out on the bit from you arriving in Canada to the bit where this chapter starts in South America - do you have a blog about the missing part that you can open up to us?

I need to know more .........I think you can sell the movie rights once you done with this .......comedy/drama anyone?

Please keep it up:thumb2:thumb2:thumb2:thumb2
 
The original story started here...
30000mileson2wheels.blogspot.com

I get a message "This blog is open to invited readers only" on this one - have started on the other one though, thanks.
 
fixed...give it a bash now...

I get a message "This blog is open to invited readers only" on this one - have started on the other one though, thanks.

thanks a mill
 
Many thanks for taking the time out to post and share, I admire your candour, humour and grit. This for me ranks up there with Metaljockey's stuff down in Southern Africa .

I look forward to future installments.

:thumb
 
I'm off...oops no I'm not..just off to the quack

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I was supposed to leave Manizales today but after a night on the throne I headed off to the pharmacy to get something stronger than I was taking. The person working behind the counter didn't have any English so I had to do a few of the motions; the place was full of people...so embarrassing.

I rubbed my belly making a mournful face... she then made a vomiting motion...and then I said "Otre!" ... she got the message but didn't have anything strong without a prescription so sent me next door to the doctor who sorted me in very quickly.

I hadn't eaten in 24hrs at this stage so I decided to chance heading into the town for a good look around. Its a nice town for walking in and I clocked up about 5 miles. Along the way saw lots of really cool graffiti and along the main street every 500m or so they have these colorful statues. The statues all have really weired looking faces so I couldn't really decide if I liked them or not.... but they were certainly different.

I then settled down to Watch Ireland play France in the world cup qualifier... Ireland beaten by the cheating French!....sick!! (Most obvious hand ball in history)

Anyhoot I'm better now and will be back on the road tomorrow... all going well......

Over and out
French hater



<strong> Pictures I took today are uploaded here </Strong>
<table style="width:194px;">
<tr><td align="center" style="height:194px;background:url(http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/transparent_album_background.gif) no-repeat left"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SvH70pR1WmE/AAAAAAABP3E/iWZ60lkmv2s/s160-c/Colombia02.jpg" width="160" height="160" style="margin:1px 0 0 4px;"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td style="text-align:center;font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:11px"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite" style="color:#4D4D4D;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;">Colombia</a></td></tr>
</table>
 
Did you not get the quack to look at the scissored bollock Oisin? I laughed and kept my knees tight together when I read that one. :eek::eek:

By the way, the Vikings are 8-1 and Brett is the man. :thumb2
 
:-)

Did you not get the quack to look at the scissored bollock Oisin? I laughed and kept my knees tight together when I read that one. :eek::eek:

By the way, the Vikings are 8-1 and Brett is the man. :thumb2

thankfully I'm back to just the 2 balls! :-)
 
South Colombia....... I'm Stuck!... HEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

<table><tr><td><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXT33MZGII/AAAAAAABUCM/XST8aOYndIo/s640/IMG_7116.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXYMTOy79I/AAAAAAABUEo/QQkNh-Q1BZk/s640/IMG_7137.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXYPh4IDLI/AAAAAAABUEw/zvtNEP3Ytx8/s640/IMG_7138.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXYcR9jS-I/AAAAAAABUFQ/fxhMKqRReEM/s640/IMG_7153.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXYvEaRspI/AAAAAAABUFw/NB2JjwMxmro/s640/IMG_7157.JPG"></td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXZ6gAjZUI/AAAAAAABUG4/ECkKCwdJj54/s640/IMG_7164.JPG"/></tr><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXaU1c22mI/AAAAAAABUHw/2EskWE7ZICc/s640/IMG_7172.JPG"/></tr><tr><td><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXbNiZaOwI/AAAAAAABUIY/oOcyTQlQJQw/s640/IMG_7175.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXcA_pQqGI/AAAAAAABUJs/OZbbPX_pjVE/s640/IMG_7184.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXbf2ZILxI/AAAAAAABUIs/j3Pore9H_n8/s640/IMG_7177.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXbb9B2sWI/AAAAAAABUIk/LG1EEcCpZiM/s640/IMG_7176.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXaKqh6mKI/AAAAAAABUHY/m6XpLnJnKTc/s640/IMG_7168.JPG"/></tr></td></table>

I left Manizales this morning and drove south west towards the city of Cali. If you talk to any motorcyclists in Colombia they'll all tell you these are some of the best bike roads in the country....and it was just awesome...anyhoot I could go on telling you about all the wonderful scenery which you can glean from the pictures above but things more pressing are at the fore of my mind.

This morning I headed off the to border with Ecuador and Colombia, and was having a great time. I got to the border with Colombia and stamped out, then went to customs and gave back the vehicle documentation.

So went back to the bike, put the key in the ignition...dead as a ******* door nail. I kept asking myself...hold on...bike has been running perfect...it must be something small.... checked round the bike for anything loose.... nada.... I was thinking maybe I was having a Mr Magoo moment so did everything about 20 times.....

The whole time I checking the stuff on the bike I've about 20 money changers all chiming in their 2 cents to which I just wanted to respond with machine gun fire....

No matter what I did..nothing worked... including jump start, jump leads ..blah blah blah...

The big problem is that at this stage I was in no mans land...between borders!....out of Colombia and yet not in Ecuador. My exit bike wise hadn't been processed so when I tried to reimport the bike it caused all sorts of hassle. I'd just checked out of Colombia so they wanted to know what I was checking in so quickly.... I tried to tell them...lots of blank stares......

So after about 2 hours of trying to get back into Colombia so I could take the bike back to a mechanic in the town of Ipiales I jumped in a taxi and headed back leaving the bike behind. The taxi driver got his buddy to bring his "truck" around.... the bike was fully 3 feet longer than the load area of the truck...actually yer man's truck didn't look like it could haul a bag of apples not to mind a bike!

So thats it... the bike is stuck in no mans land.... I'm in Ipiales.... and I've no clue what to do. I've put a couple of shouts out on motorcycle websites to see if anyone has any ideas and I've tried talking to BMW in Bogota...but its friday....were running into a weekend.... I reckon I'm bollixed till at least Monday.


Any of the parts which might fix the problem are eight hours away in Cali....
FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

<strong> Pictures I took today are uploaded here </Strong>
<table style="width:194px;">
<tr><td align="center" style="height:194px;background:url(http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/transparent_album_background.gif) no-repeat left"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SvH70pR1WmE/AAAAAAABP3E/iWZ60lkmv2s/s160-c/Colombia02.jpg" width="160" height="160" style="margin:1px 0 0 4px;"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td style="text-align:center;font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:11px"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/Colombia02?feat=embedwebsite" style="color:#4D4D4D;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;">Colombia</a></td></tr>
</table>
 
I hope your sorted soon matey, does the local town have enough attractions to keep you occupied for the weekend ?
 
The fun continues unabated!

<table><tr><td><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/Swc9fUQtrPI/AAAAAAABUVk/uB4MiX-kxUE/s640/IMG_7216.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwdEZyukUGI/AAAAAAABUWk/lVCGm_DYK0I/s640/IMG_7219.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwdEgywc_lI/AAAAAAABUWs/OY_7SnGUi14/s640/IMG_7220.JPG"></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwdGPlj6WBI/AAAAAAABUXM/4FNyHVj5qfE/s640/IMG_7230.JPG"/></tr></td><tr><td><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/Swcrcet37VI/AAAAAAABURQ/vb3XLFQKJug/s640/IMG_7200.JPG"></td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwdJ_h0zZEI/AAAAAAABUYM/U3fg4IKPAz4/s640/IMG_7232.JPG"/></tr><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwdKfyYAikI/AAAAAAABUYU/Fl_iIpEJITQ/s640/IMG_7237.JPG"/></tr></table>

Thanks to everyone for the tips on the bike...quick update as to how I'm getting on.
I got onto BMW in Bogota where I recently got the bike serviced, they're a bunch of sound men working there and they really came through for me.

Quick reminder of the problem...
1) bike is as dead as a door nail
2) bike is stuck in no mans land..ie..neither in Colombia nor Ecuador.

We organised a truck to come and collect the bike out of no mans land. A guy picked me up at the hotel on a suzuki 100, and told me to jump on. There were massive tail backs at customs so the truck had already gone through.....the crack we had.... with 2 lads...one of whom is hefty 6ft 4 lump from Clondalkin riding down the road on a Suzuki 100.... never forget it. As it turns out it was just the job for cutting through the huge tailbacks waiting to get into Ecuador.....


The truck arrived with a plank of wood and I thought to myself there is no poxy way the bike will make it up that ramp without it breaking but I was out of options so myself and about ten onlookers ran the bike up the ramp and sure enough it made it....I doubt i'll ever be able to properly relay how stressed out I was running up that ramp with the bike....my sweet jesus I'm still not over it.

No sooner was the bike up the ramp than one of the customs girls came running out to me to say that there was a problem with the customs paperwork so I ran in to get that sorted. I then jumped in the truck with the lads and drove to their office to make sure the bike got through all the checkpoints and made it to their warehouse ok. I sat there with the lads filling out the paperwork and i thought it was pretty fitting...the day had started and finished with filling in forms.

They'll take the bike to the BMW dealer in Cali, and I'll get a taxi up there in the morning. With a lot of luck I might have the bike back by tomorrow night, thats assuming its straightforward, more than likely it will be Monday afternoon as this is the weekend.... which will mean I wont get out of Cali until Tuesday, and wont cross into Ecuador till Thursday at the Earliest.

Anyway... 8 hour cab ride to Cali first thing in the morning.... :-)
We'll see how we go
Over and out
The big fella

<strong> Pictures I took today are uploaded here </Strong>
<table style="width:194px;"><tr><td align="center" style="height:194px;background:url(http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/transparent_album_background.gif) no-repeat left"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/SouthColombia?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8x5h-fHHXiI/SwXQIeE2daE/AAAAAAABUL8/_vm-0QbxZ38/s160-c/SouthColombia.jpg" width="160" height="160" style="margin:1px 0 0 4px;"></a></td></tr><tr><td style="text-align:center;font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:11px"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/Oisin.m.Hughes/SouthColombia?feat=embedwebsite" style="color:#4D4D4D;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;">South Colombia</a></td></tr></table>
 
nah!

I hope your sorted soon matey, does the local town have enough attractions to keep you occupied for the weekend ?

gonna head for Cali with the bike....bmw dealer there.... :-)
 
36 hours to forget....

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How did I end up in Cali?

I keep going back over the last 36 hours for someplace that I must have screwed up to be sitting in the chair I’m sitting in at this moment.

As I said yesterday it all started when the bike died in no man’s land between Colombia and Ecuador. I got that sorted and sometime in the early hours of this morning Sam Gamgee began his 11 hour trek in the back of a truck.

I arranged for a taxi to pick me up at the hotel this morning at 6am, its 10 hours to Cali in a Taxi so if I got there at four it would give me a chance to get the bike back. I thought we might be able to get there in eight hours so when the guy came back to me and said that he couldn’t leave till eight, I said ok, half glad of a few hours extra in bed after what was a really shit day yesterday.

The guy showed up at 7:50, all good so far. The first thing he asked me for was money for Gas, not uncommon in a long run, these guys don’t have a pot to piss in, and they don’t own the cars, merely drive them. I gave him 25 bucks to come off the total when we’d get to Cali.

This is the point at which things started to turn to shit. He drove down some gravel back roads to some yard where he beckoned to guy who came running out of a tarpaulin hut and started filling him up with black market gasoline from Ecuador. In Ecuador gas is half the price of Colombia so there is a huge amount of gasoline smuggling going on near the border. They have a signal which I had wondered why people were doing it all yesterday… it’s to hold up a half cut off 2 liter bottle of soft drink which a pipe on the end, if you swing it up and down in the air…that means you’ve got Ecuadorian gasoline for sale.

Things were taking a while so I stepped out of the car and as I was walking around I noticed the guys tires were as bald as Madonna’s bush, no way they’d take us to Cali. But he got a spare and put it in the trunk and I said…**** it Ois…. You’re in this now…stick with it. I got back in the car and as soon as he tried to start the car it was as dead as a dodo.

I said **** this…no way this will make it….and said to the guy …look I’m going to get another Taxi…and gave him ten bucks for his troubles. I flagged down another Taxi who ended up charging me a lot more, but still a fair price, but would only take me 100km to the town of Pasto…. The way I looked at it….it was closer to Cali…so better get going. You might be asking why didn’t you take a bus….I’ve just too much gear…and its all designed to be put in panniers which I had to empty before putting the bike on the back of the truck….no way I could put it on a bus.

Anyway when I’d got to Pasto the guy had rang a buddy of his …at this stage I had the eight ball firmly in my mouth and these Colombian Taxi drivers were screwing me to the wall but I’d no choice, the day was getting older and I had to try and get to BMW before they closed at six.
All told I was ten hours in the back of a taxi…. And the whole way the lads were playing Salsa music or whatever goes for Colombian elevator music....if I never hear a Salsa beat again it’ll be still too short a time.

Along the road every manner of hold up happened, massive funerals, construction, landslides, check points the end result being I got to Cali too late. So I’m stuck here till Monday at the earliest.

As we arrived in Cali a little after sunset the taxi guy brought me to a touristy hotel. I went in put the gear in a room full of mosquito’s and headed down to the restaurant. I went in sat down, never even ordered any grub and the waitress just put the grub in front of me, a soup, rice chips, round steak and a drink of baboon piss. I didn’t even try to argue…. Just said to myself…go with the flow Ois….go with the flow.

Everything feels very out of Control, but assuming everything happens for a reason no doubt when I go on my impromptu tour of Cali I’ll find out what that is!

There’s an advertising campaign running about Colombia at the moment, and it finishes with the lines “The only risk in travelling to Colombia is that you’ll never leave”….or words to that effect….. This isn’t what I had in mind!!!

At least I got some nice pictures from the back of the taxi I suppose! :-)

Over and out
Robinson Crusoe

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