pikeydave
Registered user
Copied from another BMW forum.
The Dangers Of Synthetic Oil
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your
beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than
you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and
implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also
will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its
linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your
kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the
ground! But that's not all... Synthetic oil will round off your gears and
spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat, causing your
girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with
you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window
with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable
and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground
overnight and your dog will drink it and die. Synthetic oil will wear
out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the
desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam
your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to
stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars.
It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate
four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to
bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the
clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of
your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack,
your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your
warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out
your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch
slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day
of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good
measure. Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your
earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves
shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral
and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow
a tail. Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet
friends and then sign your name at the bottom.
The Dangers Of Synthetic Oil
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your
beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than
you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and
implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also
will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its
linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your
kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the
ground! But that's not all... Synthetic oil will round off your gears and
spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat, causing your
girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with
you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window
with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable
and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground
overnight and your dog will drink it and die. Synthetic oil will wear
out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the
desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam
your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to
stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars.
It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate
four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to
bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the
clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of
your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack,
your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your
warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out
your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch
slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day
of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good
measure. Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your
earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves
shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral
and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow
a tail. Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet
friends and then sign your name at the bottom.
Well, if it's not because of the oil, then what?
Liv.
