Why oh Why
- Thread starter raboomdea
- Start date
big albig
Registered user
Welcome raboomeda, good choice of wheels
She's just got a shiny new BMW FFS...!!!!
Thats not a bike!!!
You're right - I could have bought several bikes for what that cost.....
Mmm good point ..well made.
My Bikes have names 
R80g/s = Gertie
R90s = Baby.
R100cs = Daisy.
I fell in love with Beemers after being given a box of bits that turned out to be an R26
Then my R60/6, R90s + various others.
THEN I was at the launch of the 80g/s ripped the pee out of it till I was undertaken by some little twat from MCN on the banking, me on a R100RS Motosport.
I HAD to have a go, and was immediately smitten by how well it handled
OK it's brakes are non existent but you don't need them it just swallows all the bends and spits them out of the high level exhaust ...
it was 1993 before I could afford one myself, and I've still got her
R80g/s = Gertie
R90s = Baby.
R100cs = Daisy.
I fell in love with Beemers after being given a box of bits that turned out to be an R26
Then my R60/6, R90s + various others.
THEN I was at the launch of the 80g/s ripped the pee out of it till I was undertaken by some little twat from MCN on the banking, me on a R100RS Motosport.
I HAD to have a go, and was immediately smitten by how well it handled
OK it's brakes are non existent but you don't need them it just swallows all the bends and spits them out of the high level exhaust ...it was 1993 before I could afford one myself, and I've still got her
Mort
Registered user
How did I become a tosser?
Well it's like this........
I worked in a bike shop many years ago (1989), at the time most of my riding was racing so I only had a Z250 to get me to work and back. One day it died and the manager give me the loan of a R80GS for a week. One year later he took it off me
Now forward to 2004, I was at the NW200 feeling sore after the ride over. Outside the pub was a brand new 1200GS and that got me thinking of that R80 and changing to a more comfy allround sort of bike.
I couldn't get a deal on a GS anywhere and working "in the trade" meant I couldn't bring myself to buy at retail prices.....but I did get a deal on a TDM900 I don't think I got it into top gear before I decided I didn't like it (I probably would now but after the ZX9 it was numb) so I bit the bullet and bought one of the last of the 1150's and ran it for 6 months. Then it turned out that I could get a deal on a GS so moved onto a 1200GS in 05 and a second one when they made a slight update in 06.
In 2008 the warranty was going to run out and my bottle went after having a few issues with this second 1200 (no probs at all with the first one) so it was sold to be replaced by a "Kawasaki 650 Versys", that little bike took me back to the NW200 then on to Holland, Belgium and France in it's 1st month. But after a trip to the Isle of Man in August, I got talking to Borderraider on the ferry home....I wanted another GS....any GS, just get me a GS
We got home at 2am, I phoned him at 9am asking for a lift to Glasgow to buy an 1100GS I had found on the interweb, and not only is it still here, my wife Gail now has one as well
So thats how I found out, once a tosser, always a tosser
PS, no names, just the red one (mine) and the black one (Gails)
Well it's like this........
I worked in a bike shop many years ago (1989), at the time most of my riding was racing so I only had a Z250 to get me to work and back. One day it died and the manager give me the loan of a R80GS for a week. One year later he took it off me
Now forward to 2004, I was at the NW200 feeling sore after the ride over. Outside the pub was a brand new 1200GS and that got me thinking of that R80 and changing to a more comfy allround sort of bike.
I couldn't get a deal on a GS anywhere and working "in the trade" meant I couldn't bring myself to buy at retail prices.....but I did get a deal on a TDM900
I don't think I got it into top gear before I decided I didn't like it (I probably would now but after the ZX9 it was numb) so I bit the bullet and bought one of the last of the 1150's and ran it for 6 months. Then it turned out that I could get a deal on a GS so moved onto a 1200GS in 05 and a second one when they made a slight update in 06.In 2008 the warranty was going to run out and my bottle went after having a few issues with this second 1200 (no probs at all with the first one) so it was sold to be replaced by a "Kawasaki 650 Versys", that little bike took me back to the NW200 then on to Holland, Belgium and France in it's 1st month. But after a trip to the Isle of Man in August, I got talking to Borderraider on the ferry home....I wanted another GS....any GS, just get me a GS
We got home at 2am, I phoned him at 9am asking for a lift to Glasgow to buy an 1100GS I had found on the interweb, and not only is it still here, my wife Gail now has one as well
So thats how I found out, once a tosser, always a tosser
PS, no names, just the red one (mine) and the black one (Gails)
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Emily, Gretchen and Sasha - the F650Dakar, HP2 and 12 GSA respectively. The names all came from my G/F and have kinda stuck. I imagine my G/F gets some funny looks when on the phone to me asking if I have given Gretchen a good hard ride!
As to the why, as a kid I used to watch the Dakar with my Dad when the Malboro/Playboy bikes were competing - still thinking I should do the HP2 in race colours
Now post some pics of yours!!
Emily, Gretchen and Sasha - the F650Dakar, HP2 and 12 GSA respectively. The names all came from my G/F and have kinda stuck. I imagine my G/F gets some funny looks when on the phone to me asking if I have given Gretchen a good hard ride!
Jesus.....I'm surrounded by bloody anthropomorphists...!
They're motorbikes, they don't need names.....FFS!
Jesus.....I'm surrounded by bloody anthropomorphists...!
But I like to relate to the different characters of my bikes, hence the relating to them as humans
Jesus.....I'm surrounded by bloody anthropomorphists...!
You're just jealous at the bond we have developed with our babies oops Bikes. I forgot the dog is my baby..sorry Abraham.
Great stories guys. I love the fact that everyone appears to evolve into a tosser towards a BMW and then just can't go back. What a cracking slection of names..all girls...strange!!
Mort
Registered user
I have decided to call mine George in light of all these girls names
But saying: "I'm taking George for a damn good ride" or "I'm going to get dirty with Goerge" doesn't quite have the same ring to it... at least it doesn't for me, I can't speak for how you might be inclined
Well you have fun on George.................................or is it a famous five George short for Georgina..lashings of fun and boiled eggs. I can't resist...noooooooooooooooo.......stop thinking of comments with the word fanny in it......LOL
You mean like:
Bob's your uncle, Fannys a rude word and &*&^ is positively disgusting!
GreatScott
Registered user
Of course they are female: I spend all my money on them, I miss it when I am away from them, other blokes admire them, I don't understand how they work - oh and I want more than one
Ok its an oldie - but true Gisela by the way. Its German and has a G & and S. I think it means bloody great fun.
I'll get my coat - carry on
Of course they are female: I spend all my money on them, I miss it when I am away from them, other blokes admire them, I don't understand how they work - oh and I want more than one
Gisela by the way. Its German and has a G & and S. I think it means bloody great fun.
I'll get my coat - carry on
Its all too true. I think Gisela and Geraldine may be related in some way...
Farkle Fest
First of all i commenced unwrapping (in a slight frenzy) and decided what order i would fit all my fun parts. Handguards i thought.
So then i laid everything out on the ground and opened my girls own tool kit (Ruby Red Two Drawer Metal Box with Vanity Mirror and Nailfile attachments). Now i thought read the instructions you fool or it will all go horribly wrong. Gadzuuks, there in German, nine, nine (ten i counted to) and began to follow the diagrams.
Use Torx wrench to remove.......torx what the f**k. God damn it, the superdrug socket set i found in this years cracker just won't do it. Hit it with a hammer i thought......no..... i resisted.
I will fit the Nosecone. So i read the instructions...."drill a hole in the original mudguard using a 5mm drill bit"
DRILL A HOLE...IN GERALDINE. Oh jesus I can't do it......apart from anything else i only had a 3mm drill bit. So i chucked my chuckless drill (18th Birthday gift from Dad) down in a stamping feet manner and moved on.
The crash bars...hear we go. Using a torx....oh for f**ks sake...The SV didn't use fancy tools...bugger bugger bugger.
So i thought...you know who'll be able to keep me right...Schtum. I sent him a quick text about the drilling thingy and within 2.5 seconds i had recieved a "Step away from the Drill" call.."I'm on my way"
As short time later i was amongst a fine aray of torx sockets, 5mm drill bits, and other stuff (you know tools and shit) Three cups of chai tea later (Schtum, Son and I), there was much looking at diagrams from all angles. The blood spacer washers don't fit we all said out loud, about twenty times. Hit them with a hammer i said....no we can fix it said Schtum the builder. A few choice sweary words later and handguards with improvised spacer washers (Supplied ones didn't fit so i fashioned some from some earrings, tampon string and nailvarnish!!!) were fitted.
Nosecone next... God darn that was easy and uneventful. I didn't even cry when i drilled the holes. Schtum did wimper a little as i brandished the drill near his already damaged hand (Not my fault) but other wise uneventful.
Crashbars came next...No major issues, except when it came to fitting the cross bar and the last four bolts...Mmmmm i thought, one two three four five...that can't be right....one two three four five....Eh Schtum we have an extra bit....A wee re-check later spare bit fitted, a bit of slagging about the fact i was the one who is a qualified Engineer (It was a long time ago) and the final part was ready to go on. Bolt one - IN. Bolt Two - IN, Bolt Three - Fiddle Fiddle IN. Bolt Four - Twiddle, Fiddle, Push Prod (Careful now). Bloody hell, it won't fit. I know i said
HIT IT WITH A HAMMER
So we did...didn't bloody help but i felt better. Turns out the cross bar is 3mm to short at the bolt spacings. Thankfully after an extensive amount of emails to Helmut "You sent me a F**king Tena Lady Box" Hornig (Which by the way was delivered to my neighbours who now think i am pishy annie). A new cross bar has been dispatched.
All in all a fabby farkling day was had by all. Thanks Schtum and Son.
Still having issues with pics but managed this one.
First of all i commenced unwrapping (in a slight frenzy) and decided what order i would fit all my fun parts. Handguards i thought.
So then i laid everything out on the ground and opened my girls own tool kit (Ruby Red Two Drawer Metal Box with Vanity Mirror and Nailfile attachments). Now i thought read the instructions you fool or it will all go horribly wrong. Gadzuuks, there in German, nine, nine (ten i counted to) and began to follow the diagrams.
Use Torx wrench to remove.......torx what the f**k. God damn it, the superdrug socket set i found in this years cracker just won't do it. Hit it with a hammer i thought......no..... i resisted.
I will fit the Nosecone. So i read the instructions...."drill a hole in the original mudguard using a 5mm drill bit"
DRILL A HOLE...IN GERALDINE. Oh jesus I can't do it......apart from anything else i only had a 3mm drill bit. So i chucked my chuckless drill (18th Birthday gift from Dad) down in a stamping feet manner and moved on.
The crash bars...hear we go. Using a torx....oh for f**ks sake...The SV didn't use fancy tools...bugger bugger bugger.
So i thought...you know who'll be able to keep me right...Schtum. I sent him a quick text about the drilling thingy and within 2.5 seconds i had recieved a "Step away from the Drill" call.."I'm on my way"
As short time later i was amongst a fine aray of torx sockets, 5mm drill bits, and other stuff (you know tools and shit) Three cups of chai tea later (Schtum, Son and I), there was much looking at diagrams from all angles. The blood spacer washers don't fit we all said out loud, about twenty times. Hit them with a hammer i said....no we can fix it said Schtum the builder. A few choice sweary words later and handguards with improvised spacer washers (Supplied ones didn't fit so i fashioned some from some earrings, tampon string and nailvarnish!!!) were fitted.
Nosecone next... God darn that was easy and uneventful. I didn't even cry when i drilled the holes. Schtum did wimper a little as i brandished the drill near his already damaged hand (Not my fault) but other wise uneventful.
Crashbars came next...No major issues, except when it came to fitting the cross bar and the last four bolts...Mmmmm i thought, one two three four five...that can't be right....one two three four five....Eh Schtum we have an extra bit....A wee re-check later spare bit fitted, a bit of slagging about the fact i was the one who is a qualified Engineer (It was a long time ago) and the final part was ready to go on. Bolt one - IN. Bolt Two - IN, Bolt Three - Fiddle Fiddle IN. Bolt Four - Twiddle, Fiddle, Push Prod (Careful now). Bloody hell, it won't fit. I know i said
HIT IT WITH A HAMMER
So we did...didn't bloody help but i felt better. Turns out the cross bar is 3mm to short at the bolt spacings. Thankfully after an extensive amount of emails to Helmut "You sent me a F**king Tena Lady Box" Hornig (Which by the way was delivered to my neighbours who now think i am pishy annie). A new cross bar has been dispatched.
All in all a fabby farkling day was had by all. Thanks Schtum and Son.
Still having issues with pics but managed this one.
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