Having had a shite couple of months what with one thing and another, I got up on Wednesday morning and, with no forward planing, fecked off 
0950 saw me at Larne for the 1030 Cairnryan sailing. Only problem was that they wouldn't let me join the rest of the vehicles that were still waiting in the carpark because I hadn't arrived five minutes earlier.
Wouldnae hae happend wi Stena 
Anyways, 1300 saw this in my viewfinder:
Cheerio Norn Iron
And about an hour or so later
Hellooooo Scotland
T'wernt brillig, and the slithy toves were keeping well in out of the pishing rain, but on I went along the banks of Loch Lomand and thence to Glen Cova.
Could've sworn there were supposed to be mountains 'round here somewhere
Onwards to Fortwilliam, where I stumbled into the hostilry of one particular Tosser of ill repute......(I hear he wears studded leather undies on the bike
)
Pints were pulled, and food was served. You'll notice the effect of the pints
Steak & Black Pudding Pie, Tossers Portion
Ex-Steak & Black Pudding Pie, Tossers Portion
Says G.C. "We'll catch the second half and get a pint down the town, then we'll go to my local for a couple of pints". Remember these words, because I will for a very very long time to come.
The Railway Club was virtually empty at 2230. Two bar staff and one wee woman nursing a halfun. "Gae us a dram an owan fer himsen" says G.C. Two drams arrive about 6 seconds later.... I like this place already
A couple of minutes later, a guy by the name of Eddie walks in. "Gae us a halfun and yin fer the lads" says he. "Ta" says I.
Another couple of minutes and Chris walks in. "Get a round in, wil ye pet?" quoth he.
Things were starting to get a wee bit fuzzy by this stage, and I can't remember the name of the last bloke who arrived in at about 2235
I do remember going out for a smoke with two drams on the counter, and coming back to find five. You might wonder why I've mentioned what time everyone walked in at..... it's because the bar closed at 2300 and all this happened in half an hour
The Backshift. Caution:- These Animals Bite!!!
The following morning dawned..... er..... um.... at some point well before I managed to surface!!
Oot tha windae
This an' all
Towl yez it were pishin' doon yesterday.
I had a vague recollection that G.C. had told me to call into the Lochy before heading off again, so I did. The bugger was in faaaaar too good a mood considering the night before
"Kin ye wait an hour an' I'll come wi ye?" he says expectantly. "Not a bodder" says I, glad to delay setting off for a while An hour, a bacon butty, a bottle of Lucozade and several cups of tea later, we were off 
Loch Garry..... this may take a while!!!
Having spent half of the day around Loch Garry, we made a wee pitstop for lunch at the Clunie Inn. It's G.C.s fault I forgot to take any pictures.
A quick fag-break later.....
Oh, look, ye kin see thon hills th'noo!!
Feck, the loonies is oot the cell
Then onwards to Glenelg, where I left Mein Host to enter enemy territory. I was determined to take Castle Oonyack, by fair means or foul
Take this letter to my girlfriend if I don't make it back!! Oh, and tell the wife too, will ye?
Don't think much of his moat
Landing party, man your vehicles!
All clear! CHARGE!
On arrival, the enemy force was underwhelming. I feinted past Castle Oonyack, and when he'd turned back to apply some more rust to Tashs chain, I snuck up behind him. The anger on his face as he turned around was terrifying to behold.
Don't look into his eyes or you'll turn into a KTM owner!
A quiet night was spent with the captured Royals in the Stein Inn. Bob asked if I knew some twat called Tooned Anne, and of course I said "No, but he sounds like he needs a good smack in the teeth". Bob looked thoughtful for a moment, adjusted his bra, and said "Aye, he did tha"
Next morning I awoke to a terrible situation. The prisoners had escaped!! Not only that, but my faithful charger had been branded. Oh, the shame
My poor wee Steed!
There was nothing else for it but to flee!
The enemy fleet was hard on my heels as I boarded the escape vessel at Armadale, but we managed to outrun them. My escape was secured as I made off towards Oban
Torpedo boats astern, captain!
The rest of the day was spent meandering my way down to Oban. Deciding that I'd treat myself to a hotel and a night on the town, I called into the Tourist Board to be told there was nothing left because of a festival in the town. I reckon they were Oonyacki agents
So, off I headed again to Fortwiliam, planning a wee trip oop north the following day, but it was also closed G.C. kindly volunteered his sofabed, refused to be taken out to dinner, and dragged me back to the Railway for the Backshift again. Forewarned is forearmed, and this time I can remember leaving
Saturday, and time to head home. Headed to Inverness, via the nicer south side of Loch Ness that G.C. tries to keep secret from the riff-raff, and onwards to Ullapool. Then a fast run down to Troon and home.
There's a load more pictures to come at http://www.mysticmountainrider.com for anyone who wants to look at them, but I'll not hog more bandwidth on posting them here.
A million thanks to Oonyack, Nash and G.C., and a million more to Mrs. G.C. for putting up someone she's never met before. I'd not be sitting here with a huge grin on my face right now if it wasn't for the lot of yez
0950 saw me at Larne for the 1030 Cairnryan sailing. Only problem was that they wouldn't let me join the rest of the vehicles that were still waiting in the carpark because I hadn't arrived five minutes earlier.
Wouldnae hae happend wi Stena Anyways, 1300 saw this in my viewfinder:Cheerio Norn Iron
And about an hour or so later
Hellooooo Scotland
T'wernt brillig, and the slithy toves were keeping well in out of the pishing rain, but on I went along the banks of Loch Lomand and thence to Glen Cova.
Could've sworn there were supposed to be mountains 'round here somewhere
Onwards to Fortwilliam, where I stumbled into the hostilry of one particular Tosser of ill repute......(I hear he wears studded leather undies on the bike
)Pints were pulled, and food was served. You'll notice the effect of the pints
Steak & Black Pudding Pie, Tossers Portion
Ex-Steak & Black Pudding Pie, Tossers Portion
Says G.C. "We'll catch the second half and get a pint down the town, then we'll go to my local for a couple of pints". Remember these words, because I will for a very very long time to come.
The Railway Club was virtually empty at 2230. Two bar staff and one wee woman nursing a halfun. "Gae us a dram an owan fer himsen" says G.C. Two drams arrive about 6 seconds later.... I like this place already
A couple of minutes later, a guy by the name of Eddie walks in. "Gae us a halfun and yin fer the lads" says he. "Ta" says I.
Another couple of minutes and Chris walks in. "Get a round in, wil ye pet?" quoth he.
Things were starting to get a wee bit fuzzy by this stage, and I can't remember the name of the last bloke who arrived in at about 2235
I do remember going out for a smoke with two drams on the counter, and coming back to find five. You might wonder why I've mentioned what time everyone walked in at..... it's because the bar closed at 2300 and all this happened in half an hour
The Backshift. Caution:- These Animals Bite!!!
The following morning dawned..... er..... um.... at some point well before I managed to surface!!
Oot tha windae
This an' all
Towl yez it were pishin' doon yesterday.
I had a vague recollection that G.C. had told me to call into the Lochy before heading off again, so I did. The bugger was in faaaaar too good a mood considering the night before
"Kin ye wait an hour an' I'll come wi ye?" he says expectantly. "Not a bodder" says I, glad to delay setting off for a while
An hour, a bacon butty, a bottle of Lucozade and several cups of tea later, we were off Loch Garry..... this may take a while!!!
Having spent half of the day around Loch Garry, we made a wee pitstop for lunch at the Clunie Inn. It's G.C.s fault I forgot to take any pictures.
A quick fag-break later.....
Oh, look, ye kin see thon hills th'noo!!
Feck, the loonies is oot the cell
Then onwards to Glenelg, where I left Mein Host to enter enemy territory. I was determined to take Castle Oonyack, by fair means or foul
Take this letter to my girlfriend if I don't make it back!! Oh, and tell the wife too, will ye?
Don't think much of his moat
Landing party, man your vehicles!
All clear! CHARGE!
On arrival, the enemy force was underwhelming. I feinted past Castle Oonyack, and when he'd turned back to apply some more rust to Tashs chain, I snuck up behind him. The anger on his face as he turned around was terrifying to behold.
Don't look into his eyes or you'll turn into a KTM owner!
A quiet night was spent with the captured Royals in the Stein Inn. Bob asked if I knew some twat called Tooned Anne, and of course I said "No, but he sounds like he needs a good smack in the teeth". Bob looked thoughtful for a moment, adjusted his bra, and said "Aye, he did tha"
Next morning I awoke to a terrible situation. The prisoners had escaped!! Not only that, but my faithful charger had been branded. Oh, the shame
My poor wee Steed!
There was nothing else for it but to flee!
The enemy fleet was hard on my heels as I boarded the escape vessel at Armadale, but we managed to outrun them. My escape was secured as I made off towards Oban
Torpedo boats astern, captain!
The rest of the day was spent meandering my way down to Oban. Deciding that I'd treat myself to a hotel and a night on the town, I called into the Tourist Board to be told there was nothing left because of a festival in the town. I reckon they were Oonyacki agents
So, off I headed again to Fortwiliam, planning a wee trip oop north the following day, but it was also closed
G.C. kindly volunteered his sofabed, refused to be taken out to dinner, and dragged me back to the Railway for the Backshift again. Forewarned is forearmed, and this time I can remember leaving Saturday, and time to head home. Headed to Inverness, via the nicer south side of Loch Ness that G.C. tries to keep secret from the riff-raff, and onwards to Ullapool. Then a fast run down to Troon and home.
There's a load more pictures to come at http://www.mysticmountainrider.com for anyone who wants to look at them, but I'll not hog more bandwidth on posting them here.
A million thanks to Oonyack, Nash and G.C., and a million more to Mrs. G.C. for putting up someone she's never met before. I'd not be sitting here with a huge grin on my face right now if it wasn't for the lot of yez
