This is a wind up right! Please don't let it be a serious complaint.
If it is for real then the OP needs to give BMW a call and ask them to take the bike back as clearly he is only suited to four wheel transport. It's a rufty, tufty dual purpose adventure bike, designed to take you all over world over all terrains and you complain that it gets dirty FFS! Get real. Did you come to a GS from sportsbikes? If so maybe you should go back to your comfort zone of being a Summer rider only doing just 1500-2000 miles a year.. I know we have had some pretty pathetic whines and gripes from the 1200 toilet section in the past but this one beats them all.