Hilltop Results on the LC

[Engineer]

Making your moniker "Engineer" says so much - mostly aspirational.........

Fcuking software "engineer"......... that's a made-up term to make you technicians feel good, and you grasped it with both hands... ........

Al

Firstly I am not a software engineer, I am hardware - secondly don't dis software engineers because that is what Geoff does

 

[Engineer]

Time for bed says Zebedee

 

[steveC]

Its only my view.

Hello all those readers with stamina,

I am not a expert on anything, my previous employers paid me as an electronics/Instrument technician. For that I was truly grateful.

I was partly responsible for things that go on in a offshore oil/gas environment , when things went wrong I then found out I was in charge. But that's life.

The only person that can answer any of the questions on this thread is Geoff. I don't know him but I suspect he would get pissed off reading some of the comments by self declared experts.

I admit to understanding most of what has been written. However it is only Geoff that can make a post of any meaning and end this. ( Yes this one to). Its his business and I very much doubt he would join in.

If you have had your bike done and your happy that's a result in my book. How it is achieved only Geoff knows, that's why he runs a business.

You experts out there making technical contributions are beating around the bush, yes you are in the right area sometimes.

Please stop it, a clever bloke might read this thread and wet himself laughing.

This post is submitted by SteveC (retired expert of nothing ) r1200gs lc owner.

 

[Toddmeister]

Read all about it! Read all about it!

Pseudo-Engineer discovers that a remap works by adding extra fuel to a lean running engine!

Read all about it! Read all about it!

Onlookers from UKGSER were visibly shaken and surprised by this shock announcement.
We caught up with one emotional passer by - Andres from Nottingham, who wiped a tear from his eye and declared "Engineer has enriched (pardon the pun) our lives beyond measure"

Stayed tuned to our live news feed for more revelations as they happen!

 

[conkerman]

Onlookers from UKGSER were visibly shaken and surprised by this shock announcement.
We caught up with one emotional passer by - conkerman, who wiped a tear from his eye and declared "Engineer can't even use a phone, why am I paying the buffoon any attention. Now where did I put my special brew?"
Stayed tuned to our live news feed for more revelations as they happen!

Fixed

 

[Binky]

Bestiest thread in the whole wide world....ever. lambda offsets, twats, remapping, open loops, retards, closed loops, lean, fucking, technicians, engineers, oxygen sensors....it just doesnt get any better!

 

[Engineer]

Bestiest thread in the whole wide world....ever. lambda offsets, twats, remapping, open loops, retards, closed loops, lean, fucking, technicians, engineers, oxygen sensors....it just doesnt get any better!

I am bursting with pride now - thank you

 

[backstreet hero]

Thanks to Karlp for the stuff on open and closed loop. It is interesting to those who like a bit of techy info, granted not to others who don't but then each to their own and isn't sharing stuff what a forum is for e.g. the current thread on like or dislike of Nippy Normans service, which does seem to be allowing open discussion????

Paule has a valid Q. If Geoff told Mistacat that his firmware runs in open loop all the time, what was the issue that meant that Paule must put the lambda sensors back in, unless Karlp's post and link explained this difference. Sorry to Karlp if it did, would you explain again in simple terms? Not sure what a “rich 2hr map” is (per Paule's post)? Didn't know you could put a timer on fuel maps! Cheers

 

[Engineer]

Thanks to Karlp for the stuff on open and closed loop. It is interesting to those who like a bit of techy info, granted not to others who don't but then each to their own and isn't sharing stuff what a forum is for e.g. the current thread on like or dislike of Nippy Normans service, which does seem to be allowing open discussion????

Paule has a valid Q. If Geoff told Mistacat that his firmware runs in open loop all the time, what was the issue that meant that Paule must put the lambda sensors back in, unless Karlp's post and link explained this difference. Sorry to Karlp if it did, would you explain again in simple terms? Not sure what a “rich 2hr map” is (per Paule's post)? Didn't know you could put a timer on fuel maps! Cheers

Yep a tech forum should be about this stuff, I just wish that sensible questions like yours and mine weren't shouted down and ridiculed just because we are not automatic 'believers' - the mods need to keep control of the abuse and bullying.

I was told off by the website boss once for placing a couple of harmless, flippant comments into a thread about the cost of servicing because it was in a technical section (in fact this one I think) so I am surprised that the mods have let the abuse in this thread and other Hilltop threads get out of hand. Personally it is water of a ducks back to me, but I know of at least two others that refrain from comments and questions on here because they are tired of the slagging off that happens all to often.

 

[Mozz]

Yep a tech forum should be about this stuff, I just wish that sensible questions like yours and mine weren't shouted down and ridiculed just because we are not automatic 'believers' - the mods need to keep control of the abuse and bullying.

I was told off by the website boss once for placing a couple of harmless, flippant comments into a thread about the cost of servicing because it was in a technical section (in fact this one I think) so I am surprised that the mods have let the abuse in this thread and other Hilltop threads get out of hand. Personally it is water of a ducks back to me, but I know of at least two others that refrain from comments and questions on here because they are tired of the slagging off that happens all to often.

You have been told time and time again to ask Geoff for the answers you require. 'That's ask him face to face using words and stuff' not get him to write it on here.
You have been told by a moderator to let it go and get on with your life but you keep coming back like a bad smell. Why? Take the moderators advice dude

 

[Binky]

I am bursting with pride now - thank you

Pleasure Mr Engineer Sir...oh you of the buffalo hide and oily back feathers!

 

[Engineer]

You have been told time and time again to ask Geoff for the answers you require. 'That's ask him face to face using words and stuff' not get him to write it on here.
You have been told by a moderator to let it go and get on with your life but you keep coming back like a bad smell. Why? Take the moderators advice dude

Read the few other's comments that also agree with me - I have heard what you and some others have said a gazillion times, so there no need for you keep repeating it, I hear your advice but no thanks.

 

[Mozz]

Read the few other's comments that also agree with me - I have heard what you and some others have said a gazillion times, so there no need for you keep repeating it, I hear your advice but no thanks.

And we keep hearing your questions so there's no need to keep repeating them either. There's only one way that you're going to get the answers isn't there?????

That's it, I'm out........................I think is needed

 

[backstreet hero]

I agree with Steve C (#263). The only person who is able to explain in overview, no detail affecting the business need be shared, is Geoff. He's obviously busy but if everyone is ringing him then isn't that even more disruptive to his business?? It's not about belief but a standard simple post on a forum providing some techy stuff for those who are interested to know (obviously not enough to allow them to go and set up in business doing the same thing), once written can be copied umpteen times and would save all these endless threads......And if you're one of those who isn't interested in the techy stuff don't read it! Comments on here as a result of phone calls or direct conversation just cause more confusion because they seem to be inconsistent with each other. But I'm guessing this is going round the same continuous loop again and getting nowhere! It's not the intention – HT changes that are done are genuinely of interest – who doesn't want to keep on learning new things – even if you are an old fogie like me. Ha ha. But these threads do follow the same pattern of great result, Qs, rudeness, petering out.........with no one really having the foggiest idea. By the way sorry to all I have now insulted with that last comment!

 

[Engineer]

And we keep hearing your questions so there's no need to keep repeating them either. There's only one way that you're going to get the answers isn't there?????

That's it, I'm out. I think is needed

If a mod wants to close this thread I am sure that they will - I even suggested that it be closed a few posts back but it is not up to me. Thank you for your contribution.

 

[Toddmeister]

Oh Dear – poor Engineer needs a mod to help him out!!!
For the past couple of years you’ve jumped in on and made sniping remarks on lots of threads about Hilltop. These were often started by folk who were really happy with the work that Geoff had done and the results they were getting and just wanted to post to let other folk know.

You’ve tried a variety of tactics to undermine and argue against what Geoff does, including:
• Suggesting the results are somehow manipulated and any gains are all in the imagination
• Banging on about invalidating insurance and warranty claims
• Suggesting that it all gets wiped after a BMW software update
• Latterly speculating that our lives are all in danger due to critical fuelling updates that BMW might do and would be ignored
• Now jumping on the bandwagon that you’re only trying to increase our knowledge for the betterment of everyone and people are just being nasty to you

At any point during all this you could have simply picked up the phone to Geoff, or gone over to see him, and got answers to your questions – but you’ve always avoided doing that reasonable thing so you can keep posting your own brand of argument and put downs.
Throughout all of this a groundswell of happy customer opinions from those who have been to Hilltop has built against you – but you referred to us all recently as “blind sheep who simply follow” which I guess shows the contempt you have for people you perceive to not agree with your self-declared expert opinion.

Now you want a mod to help you out because there are folk are calling you horrible names!

You need to grow some Balls Engineer – you’ve made your own bed fella and it’s time for you to lie in it!

 

[Engineer]

Oh Dear – poor Engineer needs a mod to help him out!!!
For the past couple of years you’ve jumped in on and made sniping remarks on lots of threads about Hilltop. These were often started by folk who were really happy with the work that Geoff had done and the results they were getting and just wanted to post to let other folk know.

You’ve tried a variety of tactics to undermine and argue against what Geoff does, including:
• Suggesting the results are somehow manipulated and any gains are all in the imagination
• Banging on about invalidating insurance and warranty claims
• Suggesting that it all gets wiped after a BMW software update
• Latterly speculating that our lives are all in danger due to critical fuelling updates that BMW might do and would be ignored
• Now jumping on the bandwagon that you’re only trying to increase our knowledge for the betterment of everyone and people are just being nasty to you

At any point during all this you could have simply picked up the phone to Geoff, or gone over to see him, and got answers to your questions – but you’ve always avoided doing that reasonable thing so you can keep posting your own brand of argument and put downs.
Throughout all of this a groundswell of happy customer opinions from those who have been to Hilltop has built against you – but you referred to us all recently as “blind sheep who simply follow” which I guess shows the contempt you have for people you perceive to not agree with your self-declared expert opinion.

Now you want a mod to help you out because there are folk are calling you horrible names!

You need to grow some Balls Engineer – you’ve made your own bed fella and it’s time for you to lie in it!

That is exactly the sort of unhelpful, inaccurate post that is typical on here.

I don't care if this thread goes on forever, a couple of other sensible people have spoken up and agreed with me and maybe (but I am not holding my breath) a few more might to so too.

 

[Toddmeister]

That is exactly the sort of inaccurate post that is typical on here..

Yes you're quite right - I left off emissions and fuel consumption from the list!

Apologies for that

 

[Rushy]

That is exactly the sort of unhelpful, inaccurate post that is typical on here.

.

Bo**ox ... Loads of people who have posted have tried to help you but you choose to ignore them and won't help yourself by just going to see the man...... You would much prefer to keep banging on about it. I can't believe / don't believe you really are that obtuse / stupid .

 

[Wierpig]

Geoff. He's obviously busy

Busy counting his £350 nickers for an hours work.I had my TC done.Didnt feel any different afterwards.Certainly didn't give the power and torque increases the supplied charts suggested.It didn't change the fuel consumption,running temperature or any other aspect of engine management I could detect. In my experience, engine remapping only supplies significant gains on turbocharged or supercharged engines, where manufacturers conservative boost pressures can be increased. I realise a lot of people are happy with their hilltop results and this is just my personal experience.I didn't care about warranty,updates or what BMW or anyone else would think,but I didn't get the expected result.