I like the idea of the articulated plastic on the engine bars to save then from the smaller car park fall-overs. where did you get them/it?
Protection for the protection... There is an entire thread on it somewhere.
Electrical or computer shops. It's probably the stuff used to tidy PC cables and cables behind a desk. You could also use pipe lagging or, at a push, a sock. Soiled under crackers, whilst making your bike unattractive to the ever present thieves, is a touch radical. But if you are well supplied, either by yourself or through a family member, go for it.
Whatever method you use, cable ties will be your friends. Do try to make sure they colour match and are aligned symmetrically... Not unsurprisingly, there is more than one thread on that, too. Engineer got most vexed over the use of silver ones. In this case, whilst they may be a good match with the bars, the silver might not look too good with the black. Red or yellow is right out but might add a certain 'Adventure, seat of the pants, use what's to hand mate' appeal, confirming the bike's (and as such the owner's) credentials to a wider public. Submit pictures (bods like pictures) for peer review by all means.
The best and ultimately cheapest protection? Don't fall over, particularly not in the car park. Onlookers will think you a knob. They will film you, shove it on U-boob, where Tossers will spot it and will repeat it endlessly on UKGSer, laughing or getting really cross according to their personal whim and humour that morning. Remember: The more you fear you will fall over in the car park, the more often you'll be proved right. Destiny is in your hands.
PS The shorter reply was of course: What does it look like it is? Have you zero imagination? Two rhetorical questions, not requiring an answer.